Tag: Mental Health

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Anxiety Depression Mental Health Recovery Self-Harm

Cutting: Beyond YouTube

Cutting is back in the spotlight after a study by TheJournal of the American Academy of Pediatrics brought attention to the high numbers of YouTube videos showing teens and young adults exhibiting self-harming behaviors. By simply typing “self-harm” and “self-injury” into YouTube’s search engine, Dr. Steven P. Lewis, et al, discovered numerousvideos showing various levels of self-harming behavior.After extensive review and documentation, these were the findings:

“The top 100 videos analyzed were viewed over 2 million times, and most (80%) were accessible to a general audience. Viewers rated the videos positively (M = 4.61; SD: 0.61 out of 5.0) and selected videos as a favorite over 12 000 times. The videos’ tones were largely factual or educational (53%) or melancholic (51%). Explicit imagery of self-injury was common. Specifically, 90% of noncharacter videos had nonsuicidal self-injury photographs, whereas 28% of character videos had in-action nonsuicidal self-injury. For both, cutting was the most common method. Many videos (58%) do not warn about this content.”

Researchers worry that these videos might lead to a normative view of cutting and self-harming. As one who self-harmed for years (even into my sobriety), my concern isn’t whether or not this will be viewed as normal, but rather, is anyone taking action and listening to this loud cry for help?
It’s not fun to self-harm. It isn’t a source of pride. It’s not something you share with those around you. It’s not something you do to feel “a part of” or to be “cool.” For me, it was something I did to actually feel because I was so numbed out. In the flash of the adrenaline rush, I felt alive and present when I self-harmed. I felt like it was the only way to feel “real” in my otherwise surreal life. I also felt immediate and devastating shame. It was scary. It was embarrassing. Having to explain abhorent injuries to the curious when the perpetrator is you is nightmarish.
Getting help took an act of bravery on my part. I had to tell someone. I had to talk about it…openly. I had to face my shame and fear so I could transform it into something positive. I had to do some deep, spiritual work in order to learn how to turn self-harm into self-care. I continue to do this work, so I can  revel in self-care and be of service to others. I had to build a fellowship of support that would be there if I slipped back. I empathize for the kids on YouTube. I hope someone reaches out the hand of recovery and lets them know they don’t have to hurt like that anymore.

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Mental Health Recovery

New Year Intentions

(Image by Christopher Chan via Flickr)

Round two of Holiday Madness is complete, and hopefully, we are on the other side in one piece. Now on the last stretch of the holiday road, we can now let go and get ready to celebrate the coming of the New Year.  For starters, many are ending this decade sober and stronger than they once were, optimistic in their desire for positive personal change in the year to come.  Some may be teetering on the edge of relapse, or may have already ventured down that path.  Hopefully, they make it back to the willing arms of recovery–remember, it just takes the willingness and desire to ask for help!

That said, all of us, sober or otherwise, look upon the burgeoning new year as a summons to better ourselves. We habitually make promises and set intentions to behave differently than we did the year before; we typically do pretty well in keeping those promises in the first month or so, and then, well, complacency begins to set in. The new membership to the gym starts to gather dust or we fall short in our attempts to deepen our spiritual practice, listening less to the call of our hearts and more to the chatter in our heads; at some point, we may even forget why we made these promises and intentions in the first place.

After countless years of failed “resolutions,” and a persistent sense of disappointment,  I decided to begin a new tradition, which is to no longer make promises I can’t keep, but rather, set intentions that allow me to get back up again if I should fall short. Intentions like being more committed to my life, my family, my sobriety, my spirituality. Or intentions to be kinder to myself and spend less time berating myself for things that are banal and insignificant, i.e., not making it to yoga one day or getting frustrated while I’m driving. In the grand scheme of things, one failed yoga class or a frustrated honk of the horn won’t eradicate the initial intentions that were set. Rather, those moments of forgetting allow me to ignite a practice of forgiveness, which allows me to forgive some of those shortcomings as I work so diligently to transform them.  Frankly, the real intention is our effort to change. “Progress not perfection,” right?

As long as we go forth one step, one breath, one day at a time, eventually, all the effort will pay off, leaving us with less dust, and more fervent joy.

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Holidays

Holidays, Part Deux

For many, the holidays bring copious joy and a sense of celebration: there are a bevy of lights illuminating the city streets, Santa’s everywhere you look, school’s out for two weeks, family gatherings are plentiful, and everyone is ready for a “break,” right?  Well, that’s not always the case for the alcoholic/addict. When I was new in sobriety, the holidays were dreadful, and I had little to no coping skills in terms of dealing with the inevitable difficulties that can arise around family. I would spend every waking moment in marathon meetings, eager to recreate a sense of connection. I’m forever grateful for that experience.

As I gained more years under my belt and my proverbial tool box filled up with a variety of solutions applicable to most situations, my coping skills became broader. I became able to engage with my family in small doses, despite the fact that the sense of discomfort hasn’t ever really gone away. The thing is, just because we’ve continued to work on our behavior and our sense of disillusionment, doesn’t mean the rest of our families have as well. A lot of the time, they’re going to be the same as they always were. So, what does that mean for us addicts and alcoholics?

For starters, it’s an opportunity to put all of the hard work we do into action, but on a grander scale. Perhaps we can begin to treat a difficult person as the suffering being that they are and offer them compassion. What do you think would happen if you approached them with an open heart instead of anger and resentment?  If that’s too hard, because the trauma is too fresh or too deep, then treat yourself with compassion and take a break. Call your sponsor, or a safe friend and check in; step outside and take 10 (yes, really) deep breaths–the kind that fills your lungs all the way to the top! And if all else fails, get yourself to a meeting. It’s one of the best aspects of recovery during the holidays: the meetings, just like the holiday cheer, are a-plenty!

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Holidays

Surviving the Holidays

Wondering how you’re going to make it through a day of screwball family dynamics and holiday “cheer”?  You’re not alone. This time of year can bring up a flurry of emotions, some ecstatic and some reminiscent of Chernobyl.  Since the curve is broad, managing it all can be difficult. So, then how do we do this?

Taking an honest look at our expectations is a great start. We have them from our internal sources of desire as well as the implied expectations put upon us by the bottled cheer we see when we’re out in the world. It’s the holidays, we are supposed to be happy, right?  Perhaps, but it doesn’t always go that way. We may find ourselves stuck sitting next to our biggest button-pusher, or suddenly engaged in a conversation about “what it was like” with a well-meaning member of the family. What’s important, at least for me, is the way in which to respond. It’s a great opportunity to be gentle with yourself in the face of adversity and a wonderful reminder to hold up those boundaries you may have set.

Something else that can be helpful is staying in the present moment. It’s easy to get locked into the stories of our past and sometimes difficult not to react to those echos. For me, setting an intention for my day, either in a quiet moment of meditation or in my yoga practice, is key. Sometimes it can mean acknowledging there may be difficulty, but finding a way to approach it differently; it could mean setting an intention to be kind to yourself and to approach others with compassion; or it could mean setting the intention to be in gratitude.

This holiday season, we have a wonderful opportunity to take contrary action and meet our pain with compassion, and our frustration with gratitude. Remember to laugh, take breaks, and enjoy each moment–you are amazing!  As the Buddha said, “The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart.”

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Addiction ADHD Mental Health

ADHD and Addiction

There’s an interesting correlation between ADHD and substance abuse, with research showing children who have ADHD as being more likely to struggle with addiction issues as adults. According to the Journal of Nervous and Mental Disorders, “some studies show a higher rate of ADHD among substance abusers and that people with ADHD may develop substance abuse problems at an earlier age.”  The three main characteristics of ADHD are: inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity, which can lead to high levels of anxiety, restlessness, and stress. Attempting to manage these symptoms can be overwhelming, particularly if one is symptomatic yet untreated.
As researchers and medical professionals dig deeper into addiction issues and ADHD, they are finding proof that lower levels of dopamine is a key factor. Sufferers begin to self-medicate and will often find temporary relief when they smoke marijuana, for example. Why? Well, because THC temporarily triggers the brain to release dopamine and dopamine makes us feel better. The user doesn’t realize the damaging effects THC has to their brain cells and this type of self-medication can set the stage for substance abuse, particularly since the use of drugs and alcohol can provide a sense of calm, even if just for a minute. Also, with an inclination toward impulsivity and risk-taking, ADHD sufferers tend toward perilous behaviors, which can also allude to addiction issues.
It’s important then, as parents, and friends of those suffering from addiction to look at ADHD as a link. Taking a whole-body approach is necessary–one must treat the ADHD component in collusion with the addiction component. Twelve-step meetings or treatment are wonderful tools to combat and cope with one’s addiction and will allow one to better handle the prescription treatment involved with managing ADHD. They have to be undertaken together, however, or one will counteract the other.

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Uncategorized

The Choking Game

The Choking Game: Unveiling the Adolescent ‘Game’ of Self-Asphyxiation

Generations of adolescents have been participating in the “game” of self-asphyxiation. Often referred to as the “Good Kids Game” due to its drug-free nature, detection tends to be unlikely until it is too late. A 12-year-old recently died in Santa Monica after being on life support and spending two days in a coma.1 The growing concern is bolstered by the “new sexy name and its implication of a casual, flirtatious relationship with death.”2 The intrigue of doing something dangerous is seductive, particularly to teens, who are, by nature, risk-takers.

The choking game refers to the act of “Intentionally cutting off oxygen to the brain with the goal of inducing euphoria,”3 which results in cerebral hypoxia (oxygen deprivation to the brain). According to G.A.S.P., a non-profit support site for victims of this activity and their parents, this game is played mostly by “boys and girls between 9-16 years old” who are generally “high achieving in academics, activities and sports, and don’t want to get risk getting caught with drugs or alcohol.”4 Additionally, the growing practice of using accoutrements such as ropes and belts has dramatically increased the the deadliness of the act.

Some kids may even start by holding their breath for long periods of time, just to see if they can make themselves “pass out.” What may first appear as a breath-holding contest, however, could be the beginning stages of participating in this deadly game. Rather than getting angry, use this discovery as an opportunity to talk to your child. Our fear can drive us to panic and propel us to come from a place of anger, but if we let our kids know that we are actually concerned for their well-being, maybe they will be more willing accept our efforts to to guide them toward safer means of social experimentation.

Some of the warning signs to look for include:

  • Any suspicious mark on the side of the neck, sometimes hidden by a turtleneck, scarf or permanently turned-up collar.
  • Changes in personality, such as overtly aggressive or agitated.
  • Any kind of strap, rope or belt lying around near the child for no clear reason—and attempts to elude questions about such objects.
  • Headaches (sometimes excruciatingly bad ones), loss of concentration, flushed face.
  • Bloodshot eyes or any other noticeable signs of eye stress.
  • A thud in the bedroom or against a wall—meaning a fall in cases of solitary practice.
  • Any questions about the effects, sensations or dangers of strangulation.

Common slang terms for this “game” include:
“The Choking Game,” “Funky Chicken,” “Space Monkey,” “”Blackout,” “ Fainting Game,” “Dream Game,” “Suffocation,” “Roulette,” “Passout,” “Flatliner,” “California High,” “Airplaning,” “American Dream,” “Tingling,” and “Gasp.”

 

References for this article:

  1. What the Hell is the Choking Game 
  2. What the Hell is the Choking Game 
  3. Fainting Game
  4. Choking
Categories
Body Image Eating Disorders Mental Health Recovery

Help With My Eating Disorder

I began to address my eating disorder when I was in adolescent treatment in Malibu. It has been a very difficult journey and sometimes it has been very hard not to lapse into old behaviors. In the last year, I have really dedicated myself to staying committed to recovery and have recently seen a big change- I’ve gained weight! In the past, this would have destroyed me, but since I have been working so hard to get healthy, I feel pretty good about it. Mostly. Honestly, this week I had a bit of an emotional meltdown when I went to try on a bathing suit I hadn’t worn for three years. It didn’t fit. Later that night I went to put on a favorite summer dress. It didn’t fit. My jeans didn’t fit. Like, overnight my clothes stopped fitting. It’s one thing to talk about the work, to write about the work, to intellectualize the work- and an entirely different thing to actually have it happen. In my brain, I am very pleased to have some success in this very difficult area of my life. In my eating disorder’s brain, I am losing my mind. It’s horrifying. I feel like I shouldn’t be so upset, but of course I am. This old way of thinking has dominated my life for years and years. Of course I will grieve.
My sponsor and my best friend both suggested that I get rid of my old clothes. They will never fit me again as long as I am healthy. I took their advice and began to bag up my eating disorder clothes and cried the whole time. It was intensely symbolic for me to say goodbye to them, and to my eating disorder– to acknowledge that I’m not going to be that underweight again. That I’m going to stay healthy. I felt like I could almost hear my eating disorder yelling “Noooooo!” as if it was a villain being shoved off of a cliff in a movie. Sometimes those ceremonial gestures are important, like I’m showing myself what is really happening.
This week has been kind of heavy for me, but now that it’s over I feel a certain levity. I know that there is still a lot of work to do so that I don’t lapse in behavior. I have to power through this challenging time. It was hard to say goodbye, and I know that this is part of my grieving process. It may sound weird to grieve something that hurt me so much, but it was my greatest comfort for many years, and it’s scary to let go of it. I know that I have a lot of love and support around me, and that I don’t have to go through this alone. And hey, I get to go shopping.

Adolescent Eating Disorder Treatment In Malibu

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