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My Journey Discovering the Signs and Symptoms of addiction part 2

By April 18, 2009 No Comments

Upon entering treatment an overwhelming sense of relief flooded my body.  The realization that I wasn’t crazy; I am not the one solitary nut job in the world that doctors can’t help.  I am an alcoholic/addict.  “Psychologists usually define substance abuse as continued use of a substance after several episodes in which use of the substance has negatively affected an individual’s work, education and social relationships. (Wood, et al.)”  The more I learned about alcoholism/addiction the more I identified.  The more I identified the better I felt, I learned more about myself.  I learned that mainly being concerned with myself and operating in self-pity most the time was worsening my situation (Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous).
      I had previously been diagnosed with ADHD at age seven at a clinique in Newport Beach and again at age 15.  I was put on Adderall at age 15 and my grades improved.  I never learned or read much about ADHD as I was in the mindset that Adderall was my solution.  I began to abuse the Adderall when I started abusing Marijuana and in treatment they suggested not to take a stimulant as they have a high risk of abuse.  When I had six months sober I tried to go back to school.  I started taking a few classes at a community college.  Before long I felt like I was in over my head.  I felt like I was nothing without Adderall, it was the key to accessing my brain and my self-esteem plummeted with every class I took.  After several failed attempts at taking classes I decided to take some time off of school.

read more about my journey in tomorrow’s postings

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