How can I learn to accept may gay son?
Finding out that your son is gay can be painful. Life goes out of control and suddenly it feels like you are talking to a stranger. It feels like a betrayal. Guilt may even set in with parents sometimes thinking they may have caused their son’s homosexuality.
As a parent, you must understand that this is the time your son needs you the most. So although the “coming out” process can be marked with anger, disbelief, and rejection, you must also try to remain calm and loving.
Understand and accept your gay children
Gay children often remain quiet about their sexual orientation, but not forever. Time comes when they finally recognize their sexual preferences, accept it, and decide to be open about it.
Coming out usually happens around a particular age, though it is not the same for all people. Gay children often receive discriminatory actions and possibly rejection from peers; this is therefore their period of liberation. Coming out enables them to live a more honest life and form genuine relationships. As soon as he comes out, you should be the first person to accept him.
If people are allowed to be who they are, supported by the family, then they are likely to develop into authentic adults. However, if your son senses rejection by the family, his self-esteem will be hurt and that’s when they start thinking about alcohol, drugs, or even suicide.
Seek professional help
This is also the time when you’ll need counseling and psychotherapy. Counseling can make the coming out process less emotional. Realizing that your son is gay may cause you to grieve the loss of expectations placed on you as a family and the future you imagined for your loved one. Counseling will help you learn to live positively. These professionals can also recommend support groups for you and your son which gives you the opportunity to connect with people who have been there.
There is so much more to life than sexual orientation. By being a parent who can be counted on, you make yourself a resource, a life-long support. That’s what your son and all your other children expect from their parent.
Please call one of our specialists at Visions Adolescent Treatment Centers for more information on accepting a gay son.