The internet can be used for good or for evil. Many support groups and message boards can be found online that can help teens find open ears to talk about their struggles. Other message boards and websites exist that can help teens learn everything from how to cook up heroin to tips to maintaining an teen eating disorder. When I was really into my adolescent eating disorder, I found a group online to support me. The only problem was that they were supporting me in keeping my eating disorder rather than recovering from it. Pro-Ana and Pro-Mia sites promote anorexia and bulimia as lifestyle choices, not dangerous disorders. It is the ultimate symbol of denial and sickness, in my opinion. When I was in the fog of my own adolescent eating disorder though, I relied on those sites to cosign and validate my own disordered thinking. Pro-ana sites have everything from tips to losing weight and faking eating to “thinspiration”– photos of skinny girls and celebrities. Losing weight and becoming sicker is a badge of honor rather than a red flag.
As my eating disorder made my life unmanageable, I needed those sites to make me feel like I was okay. It helped me justify my behavior. What I know now is that I was looking for identification. When I went to the adolescent eating disorder treatment center, I found identification there too, only this time it was for good and not destructive. Suddenly I was surrounded by people who wanted to help me get better, not sicker. I went and browsed a pro-ana site earlier and felt a sort of sickening allure. It seemed easy to fall back into the darkness of my E.D. but ignorance is bliss- I can no longer live in denial. I know that anorexia and bulimia, AKA Ana and Mia, aren’t my friends. Ana and Mia want me to be miserable and sick. Today, thanks to the initial help I got at Visions in Malibu, I no longer need them for friends. I have real friends- friends that are actually people that care about my well being.