Tag: Teens

Categories
Addiction Mental Health Recovery Wellness

Finding Hope in Recovery and Beyond

Hope is fleeting or nonexistent for someone locked in the downward spiral of mental illness and substance abuse. In many ways, the transient quality of hope in the mind of the sufferer creates a sense of dissonance; it always seems to be out of reach. Recovery makes space for a more tangible kind of hope to develop and take root.  The hope we do have when we are in our diseases is hope for an escape. However, the hope we have in recovery is revised to resemble its true meaning: a desire for something good to happen and the capability to see its fruition.

 

We need to integrate hope into our lives as part of our recovery, viewing it as an action rather than as a “thing” to grasp. If we are going to recover, we have to have a life worth living, and building a foundation for hope is one of the actions needed to create such a life. This provides us with something to reach for and hope becomes something actively fostered in our lives.

 

There are some basic things one can do to work toward bringing hope into their lives:

 

Connection: Connect with others and begin to develop healthy relationships with people. The fellowship in 12-step meetings is helpful in creating connection with others. Fellowship provides opportunities to build new relationships with people who are on the same path. Within that context, one can begin to heal old relationships and build new ones.

 

Have fun: How often does someone come into recovery and assume that because they aren’t drinking and using that “fun” is off the list? Guess what—it’s not. When you realize you can laugh, and I mean, a stomach-clutching-falling-over kind of laugh all without the use of drugs or alcohol, it is liberating.

 

Get an education: This is a positive step to building hope for a fuller, better future.  Feeding your mind with knowledge and realizing your potential is a powerful thing. An education provides fertile soil for hope to take root and blossom.  It puts our foot on the path toward building a future that we want to be a part of.

 

We recognize that many of our teens and their families have lost hope. We support families in developing courage to change, and we foster the desire to heal. Every week, Visions facilitates Recovery Fun outings where we encourage teens to have fun, to laugh, and to find joy in their recovery.  We host yearly alumni and client events such as: the Big Bear ski trip, our staff vs. alumni softball game, our Catalina Adventure, and Halloween Fright Night. Fostering joy and laughter breeds healing and it leads to hope. Having fun reminds us that we are alive!  Just because we are dealing with heavy issues doesn’t mean that joy doesn’t exist.  We won’t let kids give up on themselves—we want them to start to recognize their potential. We give them skills that provide them with the knowledge that they are capable, and with that, they build an environment of hope.

 

Originally posted on March 23, 2014 @ 3:56 am

Categories
Addiction Adolescence Communication Recovery

Worried About Smartphone Overuse? There’s an App for That!

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Are you worried you might be addicted to your smartphone?

Well, researchers at the University of Bonn in Germany have created an app called “Menthal” to track your smartphone usage and help you determine how much time you’re spending checking messages, email, or playing Candy Crush.

 

It’s an interesting study, to say the least. Using an app on your smartphone to determine if you are overusing your smartphone is ironic. But the hope of these researchers is that people will become aware of their excessive smartphone use and back off.

The study was small—only 50 participants—but researchers discovered smartphones were accessed every 12 minutes. That’s 5 times in an hour, and frankly, that’s too much. Not surprisingly, they also found that people felt like they were missing something if their phone was missing. We have become significantly attached to our technology and this idea that we have to always be connected. I’ve noted this before: in this attachment to staying connected, we have inadvertently become disconnected.  Ask yourself, do you really have over 700 friends?

Teens and tweens are often chided for not having the “right” smartphone or for not having a smartphone at all. Those who do have smartphones tend to flaunt them like high commodities, bragging about their Instagram accounts and how many followers they have. Note, Facebook is becoming an outdated space for teens. Sites like Instagram and Snapchat are of higher interest now, and part of that is because they are easier for teens and tweens to navigate without being under the watchful eye of their parents as a result of privacy settings. I hear kids talk about how frequently they block people whom they don’t want to follow them.

 

Smartphone overuse hasn’t been deemed an actual addiction, but if addictive behavior is present, it needs to be addressed. In our residential treatment facilities, cell phones are not allowed. And in our day school and outpatient facilities, cell phones are stored during class time and only permitted to those who have earned the privilege.  Cyber addiction is a real issue, and the reality is, having dedicated times that are unplugged are invaluable.

 

Have you ever tried to have a conversation with someone who has a phone glued to his or her hand? Eye contact isn’t even plausible let alone a cohesive conversation. I often find myself around gaggles of teens and tweens and I have to say, the ones who are unplugged are far more engaged. The ones neck deep in their smartphones think they’re engaged but they are in fact, detached from the present moment.

 

Try any of all of these suggestions:

  • Have dedicated smartphone-free zones: mealtimes or (gasp) the car
  • Turn off your phone when you go to bed.
  • When you are out with friends, keep your phone in your purse or pocket.
  • Unplug for 24 hours – call it a retreat – go outside, read a book, play an instrument, meditate, do yoga, go for a run or a hike, take a walk with a loved one and enjoy your environment.
  • Volunteer at the Los Angeles Food Bank or at an Animal Shelter.

 

Will this app work? Who knows, but it offers an opportunity to continue this conversation about the overuse of technology and our disconnection from each other. A hug, a genuine laugh, eye contact: all of those things trump the latest meme or sunset on Instagram.

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Originally posted on January 29, 2014 @ 6:22 pm

Categories
Adolescence Bullying Parenting Prevention Safety

What You Need to Know About Text Bombing

are you really laughing out loud? (Photo credit: MrPessimist)

The concept behind text bombing is to save time: you can send mass texts out to multiple people telling them where to meet you, et cetera. Ultimately, it was designed to be a cheap tool for efficiency. According to this latest from Huffington Post,  text bombing is the latest technological tool used by cyberbullies to go after their victims. The sender can be anonymous and the apps can be programmed to auto-send persistent, negative messages. Text bombing someone means you are sending 1000-10000 text messages to the same person in the same day, and it can go from being simply annoying to cruel. In the banal sense, one could look at text bombing as the equivalent of crank calling someone. Unfortunately, in the wrong hands, text bombing has sinister underpinnings.

 

Imagine repeatedly receiving a text message saying, “die” or “no one likes you,” in the same day.  The victim of the text bomb has to endure receiving the same hateful and/or degrading message time and time again, experiencing high levels of stress, anxiety, and even depression. Unless you have a means of blocking the text messages, there’s really no way to stop the barrage of hate. You are in a relentless technological loupe.

 

Alas, you can protect yourself!  You can download one of these spam-blocking apps, which allow you to block numbers and texts from coming in:

 

For the Android, you can use Text Bomb Defender or Anti SMS Bomber Pro.

For the iPhone, you can use NumberCop.

 

Parents, if you are worried that text bombing may be an issue for your child, look for the following:

  • A spike in the phone bill
  • Make sure your child’s phone isn’t rooted. (“Rooting an Android phone means that you give yourself, rather than Sprint/Verizon/T-Mobile/AT&T’s software, the permission to act as the administrator of the phone. New Android operating system 2.3 and higher only allows 30 SMS — texts — from the same phone at one time. Teens with rooted phones can still send thousands of texts.” – via Internet safety expert Sedgrid Lewis)

Originally posted on November 4, 2013 @ 10:31 am

Categories
Adolescence Communication Safety

Texting and Driving: It’s Not Worth It

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Texting and Driving: Are you guilty of doing it? Even for a second? To an extent, we all are. Even if it’s at a stoplight, and no one is moving, many of us will check our phones. Gone are the days of “just driving.” We have evolved into a culture of fast-moving, busy, multi-tasking folk, and the importance of checking a text or checking our email or checking social media outlets has consumed us.

 

When we text and drive, we are driving blind for short periods of time.  According to this study, “Texting takes a driver’s eyes off the road for 4.6 seconds, the equivalent of driving the length of a football field at 55mph BLINDFOLDED.”

 

The University of Utah did a study, comparing drivers who are texting and driving versus those drinking and driving and found “Texting while driving is the same as driving after drinking four beers.” That same study also “found that cell phone drivers had slower reactions, had longer following distances, took longer to recover speed lost following a braking episode, and were involved in more accidents. In the case of the cell phone driver, the impairments appear to be attributable, in large part, to the diversion of attention from the processing of information necessary for the safe operation of a motor vehicle (Strayer et al., 2003; Strayer & Johnston, 2001).”

 

One of the things I do like about texting is the fact that it is a form of non-contiguous conversation. It was originally designed as a way of communicating necessary information that didn’t require an immediate result. Times have changed, however, and the need for instant gratification has trumped the original utilitarian modality of the text message. The current generation prefers using text messaging to live conversation. In fact, that is often the primary means of communication.  It’s easy, it’s fast, and it’s non-confrontational. It’s not uncommon for breakups and arguments to occur via text. And with the advent of smart phones, one is afforded less character limitations, so the “text” book has evolved. Texting is so easy that one can do it anywhere and at any time; ironically, the danger is the same: you can do it anywhere and at any time.

 

Let’s make a concerted effort to be more responsible and more aware of our actions and interactions with those around us. We can start with implementing the following actions to stop texting and driving:

Action:

  • Put your phone in the trunk or the glove box when you’re driving.
  • Wait until you are parked to respond our check your phone
  • Let your friends know you won’t be responsive if you’re driving.
  • When you’re not driving, try calling someone instead of texting. Make an effort to make contact beyond your fingertips.

 Notice any changes that may occur:

  • Are you more or less stressed out?
  • Are you more or less aware?
  • Are you less distracted and more engaged with the activity of driving?
  • Are your interactions with others more or less engaged?

 

Next, take the  “It Can Wait” pledge here and make a commitment to stop texting and driving. Encourage your friends to do the same. This is how change happens: one positive decision at a time; eliminating texting and driving is a wonderful step in a positive direction.

 

Watch this trailer for Werner Herzog’s documentary “From One Second to the Next” which documents four lives that have been impacted by texting-related accidents.

https://youtu.be/SCVZqeAGY-A

Originally posted on August 12, 2013 @ 11:34 pm

Categories
Mental Health Parenting

Splitting: Mom Said I Could!

Two proud zebras (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In Psychology, Splitting refers to black and white thinking and is according to Wikipedia “the failure in a person’s thinking to bring together both positive and negative qualities of the self and others into a cohesive, realistic whole.” According to Dr. George Simon, PhD., it is “an unconscious ego defense mechanism by which a fairly complex entity cannot be accepted into consciousness in its entirety because it contains aspects that are both acceptable to a person as well as unacceptable.” It is a common defense mechanism in people suffering from personality disorders, whose modus operandi is endless patterns of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships.

 

For the purpose of this particular blog, however, I am addressing the behavioral issue of splitting we most commonly see amongst kids in relation to authority figures. I’m referring to the common use of the phrase, which is used loosely in reference to kids and teens attempting to separate their parents with the intention of getting what they want. The behavior is similar in that it is an attempt to create a “good guy/bad guy” scenario. Splitting is an often misused term, and even I am misusing it in this blog as I am not referring to its true psychological meaning. This divisionary behavior is what we refer to as “staff splitting” and is loosely used by parents and staff members in the culture of treatment environments.

“No” is difficult to hear for most of us. It evokes a sense of disappointment and perhaps even a sense of loss. If we’re being honest with ourselves, none of us really likes a “no.” It’s difficult to accept such an answer to a request, as it tends to be attached to the outcome. When we can’t accept an answer we’ve been given, then our request is, in fact, a demand. Driven by the cravings of selfishness, our perspective can become skewed and we will often search out the justification we need for indulgent and often unhealthy behavior. Here is where we begin the search for the answer or answers we want, intent on defying the one we have been given. Kids tend to do this all the time, which is what we refer to as “splitting.” It typically looks like this: “But Mom lets me,” or “Dad said it was OK.” It’s a way for kids to find control in a situation that feels unacceptable to them, or to avoid feelings of dissatisfaction.

 

Not all kids behave in this way, however. The more aggressive personality types are more prone to this behavior, and they lean toward bullying one parent or staff member as they attempt to get what they want. Some key things to remember are:

  • Firm boundaries
  • Clear communication
  • Clear set of rules and expectations
  • No is a complete sentence.
  • Maybe isn’t an option.
    • Remember, backing out of a “No” is far easier than backing out of a “Yes.

No one said raising kids was easy. Remember, it didn’t come with a manual! The individuation process is smelly and rude and full of adventures and testing of limits. As the adults in this scenario, we have to try and remember what it was like. We also pushed boundaries (some of us pushed harder than others –ahem), but, once we lose it, the scale tips in the wrong direction. It is our responsibility to stay grounded.

 

If you are dealing with a legitimate psychological situation where the truest form of splitting is an issue, I encourage you to seek the appropriate care. You can find more information on splitting here and here. If you need help with mental health issues, please contact us; we are here to help.

Originally posted on June 27, 2013 @ 8:00 am

Categories
Adolescence Bullying Self-Care Sexuality

Starry-Eyed and Lovelorn in Adolescence

Remember when you were a teenager, falling in an out of love faster than your jeans could stay in style? Remember how devastating the subsequent heartbreak was when your current flight of fancy moved on? The drama and excitement of it all is exacerbated by adolescence. I can distinctly remember the all-or-nothing perspective I had when it came to love or what I thought was love as a teen. At times, it can be overwhelming and because there is sometimes a vacancy where parental trust should be, it can also be lonely.  Growing up is tough, and matters of the heart lend an element of pain to the already awkward, bungling nature of adolescence. And no, this isn’t a bash on being a teen. I was one once, and I will always remember the sense of untenable angst and confusion.

The truth is, relationships happen. All the time. They are an inevitable part of life unless you are a hermit, in which case, you may have some other issues to tend to. So, how do navigate that stormy sea? Let’s see:

  • Be yourself.  You are good enough just as you are. When we try to act like something or someone we’re not, we create expectations that may eventually lead to letdown. Ouch.
  • Mutual respect. You deserve to be being loved and respected for who you really are and not who someone wants you to be. Respect also means your partner will respect your boundaries without pushing you to accommodate their wants and needs.
  • Trust. It’s one of the most important ingredients in creating and maintaining relationships.  Are you overly jealous? Is your partner? Without trust, relationships tend to stand on rocky ground—this is true for friendships and romances.
  • Develop skillful communication: Ideally, you are in a relationship with someone who honors you and your feelings. If something is bothering you, talk about it. We hear this too often: “men and women speak different languages.” While this may be true at times, instead of shutting down, we can learn to ask for clarification when we don’t understand what’s being said.
  • Retain your autonomy. Sure, it can be fun to do absolutely everything with someone…for a while, but in doing so, have you made your boyfriend or girlfriend your “everything”?  Make time for those that were in your life before this relationship, and more than anything, make room for yourself. You should never have to give up things you like, or the friends you keep because your partner isn’t into them.

With the starry-eyed disposition of many adolescent relationships, it’s safe to say that many move with the tides, but sometimes things do go awry, presenting difficult challenges. Domestic violence can easily seep into teen relationships. The warning signs that this might be happening include:

  • Verbal abuse, including insults, unkind language, degradation.
  • Physical abuse, including slapping, shoving, of forcing sexual activity.
  • Control of who you spend time with and what activities you do: in other words, attempting to isolate you.

If you recognize any of these behaviors or recognize a friend or loved one who may be experiencing anything like this, get help. You deserve to be happy, not abused.

And remember: “Be who you are and say what you mean. Because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” Seuss

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Originally posted on March 13, 2012 @ 10:39 pm

Categories
Recovery Service Treatment

Visions Hits Double-Digits: Celebrating a Decade of Adolescent Treatment

This past decade, Visions has set a mission to provide a treatment plan that truly caters to youth and their families. We’ve coexisted alongside a myriad of recovery centers, working hand in hand with them to bring a sense of healing to the entirety of the family dynamic. As we celebrate 10 years of providing treatment, our professional growth, and the program development we’re embarking on, it behooves us to acknowledge and celebrate our treatment team and the culture they have built at Visions.

There is something that lies within every single person at Visions, something which connects all of us in a very unique way. As I’ve sat and pondered what that “thing” is, I‘ve realized it’s the sense of being of service which we all embody. The thing that drives us to get up and “do it again” isn’t the promise of a paycheck or the gratification of completing a task on time; instead, it’s the desire to put forth the effort in watering the seeds of recovery planted at the very beginning of treatment. It’s a continuum, this process, one which starts at intake and continues on to supporting healthy living. There is no “end” to the dedication and perseverance of our team. Selflessness is what I continue to notice about those who’ve been here since the beginning and in those just planting their feet. There is an element of altruism within the team, not forced, just naturally there and engaged beyond any expectations placed upon us by simply being an employee.

Amidst all of the selflessness and service, however, runs an underlying tone of never taking ourselves too seriously.  The team wears their hearts on their sleeves and carries laughter in their hearts. Frankly, we can’t see any other way to show our clients our authenticity.  As we know, adolescence is strife with the mistrust of adults and a deep need for autonomy; having adults who care for them and are willing to share their ability to be themselves while maintaining positive boundaries is crucial. There’s nothing forced about this, and the organic factor allows us to be consistent in our care and treatment. Remember, teens can suss out a fake in two seconds flat…especially when it comes to adults.

The treatment world understands a language all its own.  It feels the pain of the mentally ill, the addict, the depressed, the eating disordered, the anxious, and the suicidal. From our perspective, there’s no judgment, just the sincere effort to help someone heal. There comes a point where the need to “just” be of service ceases to solely focus on recovery and begins to seep into paving the path to living better lives. At Visions, we shoot for the families’ new beginning and aim to be the best examples of recovery, compassion and fun. As Dr. Seuss liked to say, “Fun is good.”

Originally posted on January 6, 2012 @ 4:26 pm

Categories
Mental Health Recovery

Fight or Flight: When the Anxiety Wheel Spins

Image by jpmatth via Flickr
Why are our kids so stressed out? Is it the pressures of school and peer relations or is there something else going on? Sure, stress is a naturally occurring phenomena that can help and/or hinder someone, depending upon the situation. There are surely instances where the slight adrenaline rush of stress can actually prove beneficial, but when it’s constant and unyielding, stress can be overwhelming. The body’s natural fight or flight response occurs when stress is introduced, allowing us to ready ourselves for “battle,” so to speak. That “battle” can be an exam at school or even a mild confrontation on the school yard, but it’s usually temporary. “Fight or flight” is a term used to describe the body’s natural physiological response to stress. The Genetic Science Learning Center at the University of Utah has a wonderful example (see it here) showing the physiological changes that occur!

The qualities of the fight or flight response include:
  • Increased heart rate
  • Faster intakes of breath
  • Enlarged pupils
  • The digestive system slows
As I noted, these particular physical changes occur naturally when the fight or flight response is triggered. In small doses, it’s appropriate and helpful, but as with anything, remaining in the a state of fight or flight for a long period of time can create untenable stress as the body and mind begin to work against itself. You know unpleasant but often typically temporary feeling of having “butterflies in the belly”? Well, imagine it lingering for a long time: It would become more and more difficult to ignore.

Some kids, and perhaps these are the one’s enduring sustained periods of stress, the fight or flight phenomenon happens without warning, and without a clearly identified trigger fueling the body’s response. For these kids, the sense of deep worry and impending doom are a prevalent and may often seem unwarranted. This is anxiety, and with it comes:
  • Tightness in the chest
  • Stomachache
  • Dizziness
  • Dread
  • Worry
Anxiety can have a genetic component, for example, mom or dad, grandma or grandpa, et cetera, may suffer from anxiety. Anxiety can also occur after an extremely stressful event: childhood trauma, divorce, loss, a car accident. Some kids are clearly more sensitive than others and may very well react intensely to something another child can walk away from. Rather than shaming them about their reactivity, we need to offer them solace. These kids need as much support as possible, not only from parents, but from clinicians trained to help sufferers manage their anxiety. It takes time, dedication and hard work, but in time, one will have many healthy tools to choose from, hopefully avoiding the dead-end path to addiction. 
Articles used as reference and for more information:
Kidshealth: FearKidshealth: StressYour Child and Anxiety (WebMD)

Originally posted on October 3, 2011 @ 12:44 pm

Categories
Mental Health

Adolescent Treatment: Mind and Body As One

Image via Wikipedia

Since 2002, Visions has been in the forefront of providing adolescent treatment. Being well-versed in the characteristics of adolescent behaviors and cognitive development, it was only natural for us to refine our Mental Health Track in order to provide an optimal treatment model for teens. As we’ve seen time and time again, drugs and alcohol aren’t always the sole, causative factor in behavioral issues. Often times, there’s a mental-health component which needs to be addressed with the same skill and finesse used in the treatment of substance abuse.

It’s not easy being a teenager: for one, there’s the physical awkwardness, there’s the social constructs of trying to fit in and be liked, and there’s the desire to do well in school and meet the expectations of your parents. It’s tough. There’s no denying that. For some, it’s harder than others, and the pressure of “doing it all” is simply too much, which can present as the self-deprecating feelings of hopelessness, anxiety, and depression, et cetera. Unfortunately, the environment of adolescence isn’t always conducive to one talking to their friends about these experiences without the fear of being stigmatized. Most of the time, one’s left trying to figure things out for themselves, and that never really works out well.

This October, Visions will light the path to a refined treatment model, addressing the complex issues relating to adolescent mental health. By thoroughly addressing and updating the mental-health component to our existing modalities, we will ultimately provide an environment which will allow teens struggling with mental-health issues to truly achieve physical and psychological health. The goal is to do so while also removing the stigma typically associated with mental-health issues.

We all come with the physiological footprints of our families. On occasion, we need help navigating those seas so we may begin to create new, emotionally sound paradigms in which to live our lives. Between successfully providing mental health, substance abuse, and family treatment, I believe we are well on our way to helping families achieve this goal.

Originally posted on September 16, 2011 @ 11:52 am

Categories
Addiction

Boozy Bears

Image via Wikipedia

You know things are desperate when you start soaking innocent gummy bears in…vodka. The Fix posted something about this a little over a week ago, and I’ve been sitting on it for fear that it could encourage kids NOT in the know to experiment. Frankly, it also reminds me of the absurd vodka eyeballing trend we wrote about last year. Really, what it shows is the obvious desperation that occurs when we want to get loaded, and the seemingly insane steps one is willing to take to make it happen.

It’s the true nature of adolescence to experiment, and holy heck are they creative about the way they do it. Who else would come up with soaking gummy bears in vodka or pouring vodka directly into their eyes? Think about it, no adult in their right mind is going to check their kid’s gummy bears (well, they might now.). But aside from the clandestine nature of getting drunk this way, there is certainly a clear danger. While a handful of these cute, sweet, sugary bears can get you loaded, there’s no telling how much alcohol you’re actually ingesting. Just because it’s small, doesn’t mean it’s safe.

If you’re concerned about your teen, and noticing signs of secretive behavior, then it’s likely you need to start looking beyond the obvious. Adolescents, beyond all of their bluster and displays of parental revulsion, are actually crying out for help when they behave like this. As parents, it’s our job to toughen our resolve and learn to take things less personally so we can provide the help that’s needed. No one wants to live uncomfortably in their skin, even sugared up on “boozy bears.”

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Originally posted on October 14, 2011 @ 3:41 pm

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