Upon entering treatment an overwhelming sense of relief flooded my body. The realization that I wasn’t crazy; I am not the one solitary nut job in the world that doctors can’t help. I am an alcoholic/addict. “Psychologists usually define substance abuse as continued use of a substance after several episodes in which use of the substance has negatively affected an individual’s work, education and social relationships. (Wood, et al.)” The more I learned about alcoholism/addiction the more I identified. The more I identified the better I felt, I learned more about myself. I learned that mainly being concerned with myself and operating in self-pity most the time was worsening my situation (Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous).
I had previously been diagnosed with ADHD at age seven at a clinique in Newport Beach and again at age 15. I was put on Adderall at age 15 and my grades improved. I never learned or read much about ADHD as I was in the mindset that Adderall was my solution. I began to abuse the Adderall when I started abusing Marijuana and in treatment they suggested not to take a stimulant as they have a high risk of abuse. When I had six months sober I tried to go back to school. I started taking a few classes at a community college. Before long I felt like I was in over my head. I felt like I was nothing without Adderall, it was the key to accessing my brain and my self-esteem plummeted with every class I took. After several failed attempts at taking classes I decided to take some time off of school.
read more about my journey in tomorrow’s postings
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Originally posted on April 18, 2009 @ 8:02 am
