Category: Treatment

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Mental Health Personality Disorder Recovery Therapy Treatment

Do I Have Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

We’ve all done it: called the arrogant, self-righteous, unsympathetic person we know a

Narcissus (oil on canvas) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“narcissist” and we may have even felt pretty confident that they are most certainly suffering from a Narcissistic Personality Disorder.  It’s a buzzword for the selfish and self-indulgent people we have difficulty with. We may even be right on occasion. I know I have, much to my chagrin. We never really want our laymen’s assessment to be true, do we?

 

While it’s true that someone can have narcissistic tendencies, to receive a diagnosis for Narcissistic Personality Disorder, you have to meet some significant traits and they have to have been present for some time. Because of this, adolescents aren’t typically diagnosed with this particular personality disorder because their brains are changing so rapidly. However, if an adolescent presents with the traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, they have to be actively present for at least a year.  I do think it’s important to remember that Narcissistic Personality Disorder is diagnosed as a result of it being a long-standing, enduring behavior.

 

It’s not common for someone with any personality disorder to seek help. Often times, one ends up in treatment or in a therapist’s office for something else and it’s determined then. Rather than trying to diagnose someone who is innately selfish, ensure that you have firm boundaries and limits around this difficult person.

 

I asked Noelle Rodriguez to give me some clinical insight on Narcissistic Personality Disorder:

 

“A narcissist is only interested in what reflects on them. All she/he experiences is a reflection of self, denial of profound feelings and grandiose fantasy as a shield from unworthiness caused by not feeling truly loved by their parent. A narcissist attacks separateness in everyone with whom he must have a relationship; either they fit into his ego-supporting mold or they are excluded from his life.

Narcissistic rage and aggression is based on fear. His entitlement and absolute control over others must go unchallenged.”

Noelle went on to expand on part of the child’s development that may contribute to Narcissistic Personality Disorder and where parental neglect or denial is a factor, “The child’s natural growth sets off a parental alarm: he or she is blamed for their emerging individuality as if it were a crime. He is made to feel that there is something wrong with such development.”

 

According the DSM-V, Narcissistic Personality Disorder is described thusly:

 

  • A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
  • Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).
  • Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
  • Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).
  • Requires excessive admiration.
  • Has a sense of entitlement (i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations).
  • Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends).
  • Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
  • Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.
  • Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.”

For more information about personality disorders, please speak to a therapist, or medical professional skilled in working within this genre of mental illness.

 

 

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Bipolar Disorder Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) Mental Health Recovery Therapy Treatment

A Brief Overview of DBT – Dialectical Behavioral Therapy

In this brief overview of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), we are illustrating the efficacy of  DBT for the treatment of patients with suicidal behavior, bipolar disorder, and borderline personality disorder. DBT has been shown to reduce severe dysfunctional behaviors in clients. DBT uses validation has a tool to the client accept unpleasant thoughts and feelings rather than react to them in a dysfunctional way.  Simply put, dialectical means that two ideas can be true at the same time. Validation is the action of telling someone that what they see, feel, think or experience is real, logical and understandable. It’s important to remember that validation is non-judgmental and doesn’t mean you agree or even approve of the behavior you are validating.

 

Over the last year, Visions has effectively trained the staff to be DBT informed. We hold regular DBT skills groups at our residential and outpatient facilities. We have adopted and incorporated DBT skills into our day-to-day interactions with clients and are finding it to be incredibly beneficial.

 

I took some time to speak to Jesse Engdahl, MA, RRW, about his observations and experience with running the DBT skills group. He said, “We are happily surprised that it’s (DBT) become a community within a community. It’s set itself apart through the kids’ commitment to not only use the skills but in their support of each other. There is a high level of trust. We have kids coming into IOP who’ve felt marginalized and who hadn’t felt a broader amount of support, but find their place in DBT.”

 

The emphasis on validation in DBT is profound. Someone suffering from borderline personality disorder often has a movie playing in their heads and when the validity of that “movie” is denied, it can create a waterfall of dysregulation which can include anxiety, depression, anger, and fear. Taking a counter-intuitive stance and validating one’s reality is has been shown to be particularly efficacious. It deescalates the anxiety, and it teaches the client to self-regulate.

 

Joseph Rogers, MDiv-Candidate and DBT skills group facilitator and mindfulness teacher succinctly illustrates the value of our DBT groups, “Our DBT skills group gives our clients the confidence that they have the ability to meet their difficulties with skills that can be found within themselves and their capabilities.  By utilizing daily skills diary cards and reporting on their results, clients are able to see where they are being effective and can acknowledge the positive outcomes they are responsible for through their actions.  DBT has the ability to move clients out of their diagnosis toward a confidence in their personhood.”

 

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Anniversary Blogs Recovery Service Treatment

Natalie Holman – Extended Care Assistant Manager

Natalie Holman has been with Visions since 2007. She started as an administrative assistant, working at our residential facilities, and eventually moving to our Day School and Outpatient facility. She is currently the Assistant Manager at Extended Care, where her administrative know-how is complimented by her desire to give back and be of service.  Natalie is always willing to help if you need something and is the one behind the scenes making sure the T’s are crossed and the I’s are dotted. Natalie is part of the fabric that makes Visions tick, and for that, we are incredibly grateful for her presence, her laughter, and her ability to take care of us from behind-the-scenes.

 

Read on for some incredible kudos from the staff:

 

“Natalie is the office enforcer… she is organized and on top of the office work and everything that needs to be done before you even blink.  She is always available and open to questions and has been extremely helpful.”  – Koreema Walden

 

“Natalie is a beautiful, caring woman who is always willing to help anyone at a moments notice. Natalie is the glue that holds outpatient together with her knowledge of our program as well as her loving, nonjudgmental words to our clients.  I can’t imagine IOP without Natalie’s beautiful face!” – Cheryl Lane

 

“Natalie is so warm and authentic and FUNNY, she makes work more fun — but she works her tail off behind the scenes to keep us all looking good!  We’d be lost without her!” – Jesse Engdahl

 

I have worked with Natalie for the last three years. I appreciate that she always has a warm smile and is ready and willing to help. Sometimes she gets overlooked because she is behind the scenes working at the details that make a huge difference in all that we do. I often ask Natalie to get a task done that I don’t have time to do, or that truly needs her attention to detail, which she excels at! Thank you, Natalie, for all you do, it would not be the same here without you. – Noelle Rodriguez

 

“Natalie is a big part of the day to day here at Outpatient. She does a lot for the facility, staff, and clients. My favorite part about her is her random humor. She’s hilarious and her Jersey accent really makes the jokes that much better. I think our common love for Beyoncè and food has really added a spark to our friendship. I’m glad she’s a part of the Visions family” – Adriana Camarillo

 

“Natalie is an integral part of the Visions team.  Her attention to detail, follow through and comprehensive approach to administration is an important factor in keeping all of us on task. It helps to know you have someone you can rely on and I’m grateful she carries us through the day to day.  Natalie is an invaluable asset to the organization and frankly, she makes us look good.” – Fiona A. Ray

 

“Where there is chaos, Natalie can find order.  This woman is the quiet answer to a storm of crazy.  Our team depends on her to fill in the gaps of communication…Natalie is basically the Siri of Visions.  Where can I find this?  Did we order that?  What time are they arriving?  Can you organize my brain?  Natalie’s ability to sort us all out makes Visions a stronger team…no doubt.” — Christina Howard Micklish

 

 

As always, we sent along 10 questions. Check out Natalie’s answers: 

 

 

1: If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?

I don’t think I would want to live anywhere outside of the US permanently, but living in the US is all I know.  I’d have to do some traveling before I could answer that question.

 

2: What motivates you?

Dreams, ambitions, a desire to become a better me tomorrow than I am today, fear

 

3:  What is your favorite season and why?

Season?  There are no seasons in LA.  On the east coast I like the fall when the leaves change colors and the air becomes cool and crisp, and you would start to smell the fireplaces being used.  I always liked dressing for the cool weather (boots, sweaters, scarves and coats).

 

4: Do you prefer reading on a device or flipping through real pages of a book?

I like books.  I’ve recently started to use kindle, but nothing beats the smell of the pages in a book.

 

5: What makes your heart sing?

My cats, Gigi and Papa.

 

6: Describe your perfect day:

There’s no such thing as perfect anything.  Each of my days are perfectly imperfect in different ways and for different reasons.  I’m grateful for each day.

 

7: If you were given three wishes, what would you wish for?

Wishes?  I don’t know.  I would wish to be debt free.  I know that!  I would wish peace of mind for everyone (it gets so loud in there sometimes), and I would wish for all of the wishes I could wish for!

 

8: What is one thing you cannot live without?

Music.

 

9: What was the last song you listened to while you were driving?

Young Folks, Peter Bjorn and John.

 

10: Why do you choose to work for Visions? 

I believe in what we do here, for entire families.  There’s nothing like being part of a team that affects teens and their families in such dramatic and positive ways.  Visions rocks!

 

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Anniversary Blogs Mental Health Recovery Service Treatment

Morgan Parker — Educator

Morgan Parker is one of our remarkable educators in our Residential program. She spends her time teaching the clients at our Latigo facility, providing them with a well-crafted through-line to their education in a supportive, clinical environment. Morgan determines the relevant educational needs for the clients, provides the appropriate support for those working with learning disabilities, and  she maintains a high standard of education.  Morgan Parker is a bright light in the Visions family: she is colorful, wise, kind, and dedicated. She is highly intelligent and not afraid to share her wisdom through humor and play. Morgan carries herself with confidence and compassion, adeptly caring for the clients and melding with the staff with grace. Morgan Parker is a true gift to Visions and we are honored that she’s been with us since 2009.

 

Read on for some kudos from the staff!

“Morgan is the Rock of Gibraltar. She is the backbone of Visions Latigo. When Morgan decided to take the job as teacher, she was a perfect fit. She had worked with our challenging population of kids as a Program Aide, and brought her experience and calm demeanor with her. Morgan’s attention to detail is impeccable. She notices glitches in the machine that help to prevent major hick-ups later on. She cares about the kids and her job, silently facing everyday frustrations with grace and dignity. I am proud to be her supervisor.” – Daniel Dewey

 

“One of the most reliable, insightful ladies out there.” —  Roxie Fuller

 

Morgan is so multi talented I don’t even know where to begin. She effortlessly blends her educational expertise with a loving and fun demeanor and tackles anything that comes her way.  Morgan insists on encouraging our kids to rise to the occasion academically, we couldn’t ask for a better teacher!  — Patrick Schettler

 

“Working with Morgan has been a great experience. Not only is she super helpful and efficient with our students but she is also fun to be around. She has a great sense of humor and says some of the funniest and most random things. She is a great addition to the Visions family.” — Adriana Camarillo

 

“I’ve always thought of Morgan as the Rainbow Bright of Visions.  The Visions family is always battling dark and complex issues, and its people like Morgan who show up with pink hair and the brightest clothing that remind us to never take life too seriously.  No doubt the work she does with the VTeam is seriously exceptional!”   — Christina Howard-Micklish

 

I love Morgan’s answers to our 10 questions — she has real wisdom and wit. Read on:

 

1: What do you miss from the 80s?

My childhood! And MTV when it actually played music videos.

 

2: If you could go anywhere in the world for free, where would you go, who would you take and what would you do?

This is an overwhelming question! My brain floods with possibilities and fantasies: Sweden, Scotland, Japan, Fiji, Iceland, Bali, New Zealand, the Isle of Man…but because I’d take my 3 kids, I may choose Italy to help make some historical sites of Western civilization come alive for them, and then still have access to the beach. Travel provides the best education, and we love the beach!

 

3: What is your favorite subject to teach?

I am a bibliophile and logophile, but surprisingly I have enjoyed working with students on algebra. It is reassuringly procedural to teach, but it’s also like solving puzzles, which is fun and interactive. I like to see students figure problems out, recognize patterns, and become less intimidated by math.

 

4: Which character in To Kill a Mockingbird are you?

My only solid response to this is that I think we can all aspire to be Atticus Finch: fair, decent, resilient, accountable, courageous, and truthful.

 

5: Coffee, Tea, Soda or Water?

I am notorious for my Diet Coke consumption. I am still trying to find an acceptable, healthier replacement beverage.

 

6: What was your most embarrassing hairstyle?

Bangs were never the most flattering look for me.

 

7: What is your grammatical pet peeve?

Dangling modifiers are never OK! I also find irksome the improper use or omission of the apostrophe. And I am always willing to explain the difference between “effect” and “affect.”

 

8: Would you rather be a wizard or a ninja? Explain…

Wizard! I gravitate toward the cerebral choice. I am not known for physical prowess. I’d rather be a magician than a fighter! A ninja needs smarts but a wizard has wisdom.

 

9: Favorite time of day?

After midnight, when the world gets quiet and my brain gets alert and creative. I have always been nocturnal.

 

10: Why do you choose to work for Visions?

Everyone needs community and purpose, and it is rare to find both in a workplace, but at Visions I have found where I belong and can contribute. There is a lot of love, support, humor, good work, and good deeds happening here, and I am proud to be a part. I have truly met some of the most incredible people at Visions, both clients and staff!

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Mental Health Recovery Service Treatment

Fiona A. Ray, MA, LMFT – Clinical Director

Bill Hoban has been our infallible Clinical Director for the last 12 years. His expertise and dedication helped make Visions the program it is today. It has been an honor working with him in that capacity. Recently, Bill has stepped down from his role as Clinical Director; he has passed the torch to the inimitable Fiona Ray as she steps into her new role as Clinical Director.

 

Fiona’s had an inspired vision for our clinical growth. Her fierce determination to execute positive change and create a solid team in our Outpatient facilities has been remarkable and we are excited to have her take on this role and do the same for our residential team. In her role as Director of Outpatient Services, Fiona created an environment replete with a dedicated staff willing to stand on the front lines alongside her to ensure that clients get the best care available. Fiona is not afraid of change, nor is she afraid to make the tough decisions sometimes necessary in treatment; she does it with compassion and wise intention. She is keen on creating an environment that is supportive and respectful for her staff to flourish and be the team they are meant to be.

 

We are thrilled to support Fiona Ray in new her position as Clinical Director. She is a well-respected fixture in the recovery community, recognized for her tenacity, dedication, and quiet, but fierce presence. Fiona has this ability to approach difficulty in a calm, collected way while making a family feel secure, supported and cared for. She has been instrumental in building out our Extended Care program, Launch, and the DBT training for the staff.  Fiona’s desire to create an environment that is healing and empowering for clients and co-workers is astounding.  Her drive to make Visions the best adolescent treatment is something to behold. Fiona is one of a kind and we consider ourselves deeply fortunate to have her in our midst.

 

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Anniversary Blogs Recovery Service Treatment

Ashley Harris — Recovery Mentor

Ashley Harris, Recovery Mentor, has been with Visions since 2011. She is one of the bright lights that graces our facilities and touches the lives of our clients and staff alike.  Ashley Harris is one of those people who make me smile at the mere thought of her. She motivates and inspires those around her to embrace life and its challenges with verve, honesty and presence. She skillfully uses humor to break the ice and to make people feel at ease and she has the ability to soften the hardest heart. Ashley retains a sense of youthful joie de vivre while maintaining firm boundaries, earning a deep sense of respect from those who get to work with her.

 

The staff echoes my sentiments about Ashley. Read on. You won’t be disappointed.

 

Ashley cares deeply about our kids and is a great role model.  She is reliable, dedicated, and passionate about her work.  She has a great sense of humor, and never takes herself too seriously.  What an asset to the Visions family.  High five Ashley! – Patrick Schettler
Ashley Harris is truly the gem of Visions. Her unconventional style truly reaches all Visions clients because she openly acknowledges her journey through recovery and celebrates everyday of it. Ashley holds no punches, and says the things we all wish we had the gall to say! – Corrin McWhinnie

 

The “everything” girl. She’s got it all.  – Mie Kaneda

 

You can trust her with your darkest secret then share your dirtiest joke right after. – Roxie Fuller

 

I first met Ashley on her first night shift and immediately I knew she was going to be part of the family.  I’ve seen Ashely grow into a strong, positive example of what we look for the clients to aspire to.  She is a great role model for women in recovery and always brings a smile and laughter into the room where ever she is! It’s truly a blessing being able to work alongside her! – Nick Riefner

 

Ashley Harris is Visions’ face of social media!  Her photos are worth a thousand words…Ashley’s excitement for our team and the families we help is so easily captured in photos.  Harris and Hoban selfies are without a doubt some of my favorite posts! — Christina Howard Micklish 

 

Read on for Ashley’s answers to our 10 questions. Her wise wit is well-played!

 

1: What makes you laugh with complete abandon?  

I laugh a lot every day- usually at inappropriate humor. I love a good “That’s What She Said,” and potty humor is a weakness. My cats make me laugh a lot too. Lately, I’ve been finding myself laughing at my own ridiculous thoughts–the things I get mad about and daily frustrations now tend to make me smile and realize it’s not that serious.

 

2: Are you a landlubber or seafaring lass?   

I’m comfortable with both. There’s something incredibly calming about the ocean though. For the first 6 months of my recovery it was my higher power.

 

3: Do you sing in the shower?

Yes! Who doesn’t? My neighbors probably don’t appreciate it but it happens. I turn into Whitney and Adele as soon as the water starts. On rare occasions I think I’m Biggie.

 

4: SuperMan or Lex Luther at 6 Flags? 

 Lex Luther, hands down.

 

5: Funniest April Fool’s day stunt? 

People are always shocked by my lack of participation in April Fool’s day. I guess I just assume that people are too paranoid that day to really fall for anything so I do it throughout the year to keep people on their toes! I usually just try to scare people as much as possible.

 

6: Top three things on your bucket list are:

Oh man. This one is tough.

1. I want to travel. I’ve always wanted to go to Iceland.

2. When I was 12, I promised myself I would live in Australia for at least a year.

3. Have as many people say “You’ve changed my life” to me as I’ve said to people in my life.

 

7: If you could say anything to your teen self, what would you say?

I would tell myself it gets better. Everything always does. I struggled with a lot of various issues as a teen and I wish I could give myself the kindness and compassion that I now have for myself. I would tell myself to slow down and take time for me. But knowing me, I wouldn’t have listened.

 

8: Would you rather sing karaoke or do stand-up comedy?

Karaoke for sure–But not alone. No one wants to hear that, unless it’s a Pearl Jam song. I can do a killer Eddie Vedder impression.

 

9: What superhero are you?

DA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA BATMAAAAAAAN

 

10: Why do you choose to work for Visions? 

I love Visions. I love the clients and the opportunity I get to help them. It’s amazing seeing them come in wounded and scared and watching the light come on. They get their fire back. Being a part of that process blows me away on a daily basis. Some of the best people in the world work with Visions and they’ve taught me a lot about the industry, relationships, and myself. Visions really is a family–we fight and bicker sometimes but at the end of the day we all have each other’s backs and it’s incredible.

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Anniversary Blogs Recovery Service Treatment

Mollie Mylar, BS, Director of Professional Relations

Mollie Mylar, BS, Director of Professional Relations, is one of the most engaging ladies I know. She is a bright spot on the marketing team, always lighting up a room when she walks in and is capable of making anyone feel at ease. She has a light in her heart, joy in her eyes, and a wicked sense of humor. She is truly humble and kind, and both of these qualities make Mollie a true gem. Mollie lives in Utah with her family, but she travels all over the United States to engage and educate people about seamless transitions in treatment.  Frankly, I lament the fact that we don’t see more of her, but I am extraordinarily grateful and humbled by the work she does; she is an invaluable player on the Visions team.  Quite honestly, the world needs more Mollies.

 

Read on for some staff accolades about this lovely lady:

 

Mollie is absolutely one of the most upbeat and positive souls you will encounter in this world; her energy is contagious. The minute she walks into a room, or you hear her voice on the phone, you cannot help but smile.  Anytime I get a chance to speak with her or see her is a pleasure and a joy. – Jenny Werber

 

I wish Mollie were around all the time!  — Jesse Engdahl

 

I like Molly.  In fact, how can you not like Molly? She is a business woman doing business in a way that doesn’t feel like business.  She is a Mom.  She is personable, humble, creative and hard working. Molly is one of the people in life that I look forward to seeing. She makes the room lighter and brighter when she walks through the door.  Good egg = Molly. And, I never use that term. In fact, I may call her and tell her she’s a good egg just so we can laugh.  – Angela Carrillo

 

Mollie is spunky, full of life and has the ability to light up any room she walks into within seconds! She has an uncanny talent for just meeting someone and making them feel like they have been friends with her for years.  – Ashley Shortridge

 

It is a pleasure to work side-by-side with Molly. Molly always finds the bright spot in the darkest situations. Molly fights for the best interest of the families and kids she works with. – John Lieberman

 

Mollie defines being authentic with every cell of her being.  This is how I see her:  Trustworthy, Tenacious, Persistent, Tall, Adventurous, Silly, Open, Hilarious, Loving and Kind.  Mollie oozes with love for her son and husband.  She is a woman I look up to.  Her balance of being mom, wife and business woman is always transparent and remarkable to be in the presence of.  I am grateful to know Mollie Mylar. – Christina Howard

 

Read on for Mollie’s answers to our 10 questions:

 

1: What inspires you to work in education?

Being able to watch families and students heal and reach their potential.  I do not like to see people suffer.

 

2: You live in Utah but you work all over the country, what do you do to stay connected with your loved ones?

Call and face time.

 

3: Would you rather be able to fly or read people’s minds?

Definitely read people’s minds.

 

4. Would you rather speak in public or work at the Los Angeles Waste pumping station for one week?

Work at Los Angeles Waste pumping station for one week.  I would do just about anything to avoid public speaking…

 

5: What is your favorite season and why?

Fall, love seeing the leaves change, temperatures drop and most of all SWEATSHIRT weather!!!

 

6: What is your Starbucks order?

 Grande Soy Latte.

 

7: If you could have been told one thing that you weren’t told when you were a teenager, what would you like to have heard?

I had an amazing mother, that I miss everyday, and I feel like she prepared me well for life!!

 

8: Funniest Visions memory?

Wearing a Christmas sweater to my first company Christmas party, (I hate Christmas sweaters)  when nobody else was wearing anything having to do with Christmas…awkward.

 

9: What do you keep in the trunk of your car?

 My own grocery bags.

 

10: Why do you choose to work for Visions?

I love the team and what we provide for our students and families.

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Recovery Service Treatment

Koreema Walden, MA, MFTi, CATC IV

Koreema Walden is an MA, MFTi, CATC IV and has been part of the Visions treatment team since 2013. She is an active member of the treatment community and served as a therapist in the drug rehabilitation/homeless program at the Veteran’s Administration prior to coming to Visions. Additionally, Koreema is an education advisor at her alma mater, Antioch University. She runs groups and Visions and also sees clients individually using her honest and compassionate approach.

 

Koreema is seriously funny. She brings a sense of adventure, honesty, and joy into her work. She is relatable and compassionate toward the adolescents she works with and she is a wonderful addition to the outpatient team. Koreema she fits right in at Visions. She is a pleasure to work with and is someone who is respectable and forthright in her work. Koreema is a hard one NOT to adore.

 

The staff thinks highly of Koreema; check out what they had to say:

 

Koreema continuously has a high level of positive energy, and is fantastic at motivating just about anyone!  – Ashley Shortridge

 

That girl is so funny!  And smart.  – Jesse Engdahl

 

In the time I’ve know Koreema, I have felt nothing but love and support from her. She has an amazing energetic spirit that everyone can pull from and always brings strong, honest advice to the table. It has been a pleasure working alongside such an amazing person. – Nick Riefner

 

Koreema, our baby of the bunch.  She has been a wonderful asset to our outpatient team. Koreema’s strengths lie not only in her ability to assimilate into a new, fast-paced environment but also a keen sense of how to connect with an adolescent milieu. We are lucky to have her and look forward to her continued growth at Visions.  – Fiona Ray

 

Of course we asked Koreema 10 questions. Read on!

 

1:  What did you want to be when you grew up? Did you come close?

There wasn’t a job that I wanted, but I had role models. My maternal grandmother was a business owner and a fierce one! She had her real-estate license and was trained to do income taxes. She owned a clothing store, was raising some of her daughter’s children and was fiercely independent. She was also kind and supportive (financially and emotionally) of others. I think I wanted to be like her:  a woman who was independent, self reliant, self-assured, strong, and brave. I thought that’s what women did and how they were. Have I come close?  I think I’ve learned over time that there was no reason for me to do everything on my own.

 

2: What are you most proud of?

I was the first person in my family to graduate with a BA and a Masters Degree. My mom drilled in my head that the way to a better life was through education. She always told me education would be bring me freedom and would be something that nobody could take from me. This is something a lot of women still don’t have in this day and age: The opportunity to attend school and be free.

 

3: Cats or dogs? 

Neither. I’m not a pet person at all. I have a child and changing his diaper was bad enough!

 

4. Would you rather watch Sherlock or Doctor Who?  

Who is Doctor Who anyway? Honestly, neither.  Now if you ask me about music, I’m so in. Music cleanses my soul, my mind, and my heart and it tells me a story.

 

5: What is the best part of being a parent? The most challenging?

Best part of being a parent is seeing my son’s brain and his mind take off. Every day, something that is old to me is taken as new to him: Words, places, books, history, people, etc. I find such delight in seeing him experience the world.  What is most challenging is that every day isn’t awesome; some days are better than others and some days we disagree on things.  I have to remember he has a mind of his own, I can’t control it or him 24 hours a day.

 

6: Are you a morning person or a night owl?

Both!! I get up around 6:30/7am, or I can stay awake till 12/1am.

 

7: What Muppet are you?

I’m a mixture of Scooter (he was behind the scenes conducting everything) and Animal (he was loud, crazy, out of control needs to be tamed). Good thing I’ve gotten a little older.

 

8: What makes you laugh?

Friends, Family and Comedy movies. I love to laugh.

 

9: If you could go back in time for a day, what and where would you go?

I would be a little girl at my grandmother’s house running around on her property and hanging out with no cares or worries in the world!

 

10: Why do you choose to work for Visions?   

Because I like Visions’ philosophy and the work that we do.  Working with teens is not easy (I was one). I get to come to work and be inspired, learn from fresh eyes, and be a part of an amazing integral hardworking team. I feel that Visions and its team work extremely hard at what they do. It’s enjoyable because everyone is supportive of one another and we work as a team.

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Anniversary Blogs Recovery Service Treatment

Nick Riefner: Recovery Mentor

Nick Riefner is one of our beloved Recovery Mentors. He has been with Visions since 2011. Nick spends his time at our Residential and Outpatient facilities, carrying with him a sincere, honest dedication to working with teens. Coupled with his passion for being of service, his genuine kindness and a commitment to quality care, Nick  is someone to celebrate.  He’s playful when he needs to be; he’s serious when he needs to be, and he has a keen ability to relate to the clients in a way that they can genuinely relate to. Working with teens is an adventure; Nick is skillful at navigating the terrain with a sense of humor and relatability. Nick not only cares for the teens he works with, he shows the same level of compassion for those he works with every day. For Nick Riefner, helping others is more than a job; it’s lifestyle.

 

Check out what some of the staff had to say when I asked them about Nick:

 

“It is an absolute honor working with Nick. I met him when I walked into Latigo for my first night shift and he immediately made me feel comfortable. There’s just something about him- everyone loves him. I’ve learned a lot from Nick and so have the clients. He’s a prime example of what recovery looks like.” Ashley Harris 

Nick is an amazing recovery mentor because of his passion for his work and ability to relate to clients. He openly acknowledges that recovery is a day by day process, which helps clients see the silver lining of their storm cloud. – Corinn McWhinnie

 

The moment I met Nick I knew he was special. He is a calming, kind, and supportive soul. One of Nick’s best qualities is his ability to level a room with his passion and sincerity. Nick truly has what it takes to work with teens. Every day when I get to work, Nick is right there checking in to see if I need any help. I feel honored to work with such a great guy whom I trust and depend on.  – Noelle Rodriguez, Psy.D

“Dude… that’s gnarly bro”!!  When talking to the kids about an issue that they are having a rough time with in their lives. And that language the kids get, they 100% relate to what Nick is saying and he is being genuine and real. – Koreema J. Walden, MA., MFTI

 

And last, but certainly not least are Nick’s answers to Visions 10 questions:

 

1: Sand, Sea, or Surf?

Sand.

2: What made you decide to work with adolescents?

I decided to work with adolescents because my journey and experience began when I was an adolescent.

3: Would you rather be Gonzo or the Cookie Monster?

Cookie Monster all the way.

4: What is your favorite way to give back?

My favorite way to give back is listening to someone who needs to be heard or who wants to be heard.

5: Who inspires you and how are you like them?

Who I am inspired by would definitely be my co-workers.  I strive to carry out the same love and compassion given to both myself and the residents in my personal life on a daily basis.

6: Would you rather have Morgan Freeman narrate your life or have Chuck Norris narrate your life?

Morgan Freeman.

7: A nice cuppa tea or a locally sourced pour-over?

Locally sourced coffee for sure.

8: What superhero power do you have?

My secret super power is I can instantly make roller skates appear on whomever I want.

9: What piece of advice would you offer someone scared and newly sober?

I would suggest they embrace the possibility that change might be a good thing and to learn how to start embracing love.  Especially for themselves.

10: Why do you choose to work for Visions?

I choose to work at Visions because I feel the care given to clients and the dedication to seeing they are set up for a successful life are amazing. Most of all, the care for given to each other not only as coworkers but as family can’t be found anywhere else.

 

 

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Recovery Service Treatment

Being of Service and Finding a Sponsor in Recovery

Being of service, requires a commitment to compassion and an ability to have firm boundaries.  Within the realm of the 12 steps, service work is imperative.  The formula, if you will, is Unity, Service, and Recovery. All three of these support each other. Without unity (fellowship), one is apt to isolate; without being of service, the tendency is toward selfishness. That said, without fellowship, and service work, your recovery becomes less stable. We need to support each other during this endeavor of healing and remember that recovery is not a lone-wolf venture. This is where sponsorship and mentorship come in.

 

Sponsors or mentors are there to guide you on your recovery path and they will always encourage you to be of service. They are there to take you through the 12 steps (or 4 noble truths of recovery if you are using the Refuge Recovery model), and to support your recovery. This also means they will hold the line when there’s resistance. Sometimes, this means hearing something you don’t want to hear, but the intention of a sponsor is to facilitate awareness around your recovery, not to co-sign negative behaviors.

 

Keep these things in mind when you are looking for someone to sponsor you and make sure they are:

 

  • An individual of the same sex. Yes, you can have a sponsor of the opposite sex, but it’s more beneficial to you and has less potential for complications if sponsorship is gender specific.
  • Someone who has what you want. I’m not talking cars, finances or partner, but someone whose spiritual life and sense of self is something you can strive toward or which you admire.
  • An individual whom you can trust. If there’s any reluctance, look to someone else.
  • Find someone whose actions reflect his or her words. A sponsor who functions under the guise of “do as I say, not as I do,” is not the one for you.
  • Someone whose recovery inspires you.

 

When you find someone you want to work with:

 

  • Call them, even when you don’t need anything. If you don’t have that relationship developed, you won’t call them when things are tough.
  • Be consistent. Remember the lengths you would take to use? Apply that same sense of urgency to your recovery.
  • If you think you made the wrong choice, realize it’s ok to move on. It’s your recovery, not theirs.

It’s helpful to remember what y our sponsor/mentor is and what your sponsor/mentor is not:

 

Your sponsor (is):

  • A guide
  • Spiritual
  • Kind
  • Honest
  • Tough when necessary
  • Works a program

 

Your sponsor is not:

  • An ATM
  • Your therapist
  • Your parent
  • Your best friend
  • A guru
  • Your lawyer
  • Your higher power
  • Perfect

 

If you are looking for a sponsor or mentor, keep this in mind: Finding the “right” sponsor/mentor may take time. If you are struggling with untreated mental illness, your sponsor should ultimately ask that you seek professional help.  They are morally obligated to do so. The relationship of sponsor/sponsee is one that will follow you through your sobriety and recovery.

 

Sometimes, you may come across someone who needs a recovery program but sincerely struggles to relate to the theistic practices of the 12 steps. I’ve had the honor of working with a couple of women who required the use of alternative language and while the steps are still applied and used to create a foundation of recovery, the use of intentions and meditation, breath and body awareness is also used to enhance recovery support.  Being of service is the one thing that is a through-line, regardless of program.

 

Over the last several years, there has been a groundswell of people in recovery seeking alternative recovery tools. Noah Levine, founder of Against the Stream aptly responded to this with Refuge Recovery.  This particular model “is a community of people who are using the practices of mindfulness, compassion, forgiveness and generosity to heal the pain and suffering that addiction has caused in their (sic) lives and the lives of their loved ones.” In essence, they have embedded service work into their recovery model in an influential way.

 

The act of looking at ourselves honestly and learning to sit in the discomfort of our feelings and emotions is transformative. Being of service allows us to get out of ourselves and into action. One thing that transcends all modalities of healing is this service work. There is always a way to recover and to be of service; sometimes it’s easier than others, but the key is not to give up. Reaching our hands out to help others demonstrates that our suffering is not unique to us–we all suffer, so why not help each other out?

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