I have found that the relationships I have formed in my recovery today are based on nothing more than respect and a genuine trust of one and other. When I was getting loaded, this was certainly not the case. I was always suspicious of my friendships with others. What was their motive? Why were they gravitating towards me as an individual? I didn’t have much to offer, aside from drugs and alcohol. These days, I have much to offer. I have a shoulder to lean on, an empathetic ear with which to listen, and a heart that wants nothing more than to help. Today, my relationships with both men and women are symbiotic associations and are direct results of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Before I came to Alcoholics Anonymous, both women and men alike were absolutely never to be trusted. Coming from a dysfunctional household, complete with an abusive father and a co-dependent mother, both respective sexes left a sour taste in my mouth. Men were abrasive and scary, and women were pushy and clingy. This had a huge impact of how I was to view both men and women for a long time. Friendships I developed with each sex were fleeting at best, and romantic unions with men were also dysfunctional and short-lived. In retrospect, I either self-sabotaged most of these connections or picked friends and suitors that were emotionally unavailable. That was the only way I knew how. I was accustomed to picking lesser companions, until I was in fact the lesser companion. Forming authentic, genuine relationships in either a friendship or a romantic interlude was indeed foreign to me. A combination of therapeutic settings and Alcoholics Anonymous really helped me learn how to once again trust both myself and others. I had to have faith in those who would help me rebuild my life.
Today, I rely upon help from both men and women. I continuously reach out for help on a daily basis to my peers. I have come to the realization that I can’t exist in Alcoholics Anonymous alone. Nobody can for that matter. It is so important to build friendships with other people who will be there for you through thick and thin. I have such a strong support network in my life today. I have toiled and worked diligently to build that network and couldn’t be happier. I thank God every day for the people in my life. They are present friends in my life today, and all they want in return is my friendship, loyalty, and trust. It feels good to not only be a respectable person, but a loving friend who people confide in and support through any endeavor. This was made possible through my recovery!