|From Blogger Pictures|
It’s beach body season at the news stands and that can be a bit of a trigger for a person recovering from a adolescent eating disorder. I have made huge strides in the last few years since I went to treatment to deal with my eating disorder, but seeing all of those magazines promising perfect bodies or critiquing those that aren’t makes feel weird. I know now that nobody can have a perfect body, and after a few graphic design classes, I’ve learned the magic of photoshop, but being bombarded by the media to get “perfect” sometimes triggers my disease.
When I feel insecure, I have to go back to my core tools. The way I feel about myself is based on my insides- who I am- not what dress size I am. It was horrifying when I had to throw away all of my pre-treatment clothes. They were all too small! I wanted to hold onto them in case I lost the weight again, but I had to realize that was a reservation to relapse. Letting go of the clothes helped signify my continued commitment to recovery. Recovery from a eating disorder is an inside job. It has taken a long time to deal with my insecurities and need for control. Even though those feelings still arise, I don’t have to act on them. I can argue with those feelings better now. So when I see “Get Your Perfect Beach Body!” screaming at me from a newsstand, I may at first feel enticed, but then I check myself and remember that no amount of dieting and exercise would ever make me perfect, or make me feel whole. When I feel triggered, I journal, or call my sponsor, or talk to friends. I tell myself affirmations in the mirror! As cheesy as it sounds, I tell myself, “I’m enough. I’m enough,” over and over. Because I am. Recovering from an adolescent eating disorder is a difficult journey, and I couldn’t have done it without the support that I found in treatment. I had no idea how to go it alone. I couldn’t have done it alone.
If your teen is struggling with an eating disorder, don’t hesitate to contact us for adolescent eating disorder treatment in Santa Monica. Beach body season doesn’t have to mean continued self abuse. It doesn’t mean anything at all. I feel good about me today, and that’s all that matters.