Month: March 2014

Categories
Recovery

How Do I Know If My Daughter Has an Eating Disorder

How Do I Know If My Daughter Has an Eating Disorder

There are many reasons why children, teenagers, and adults develop eating disorders. However, a look at the available data reveals that there are considerably more girls and women suffering from eating disorders. Various statistics paint a bleak picture when it comes to girls and women, weight control and eating disorders: for example, about 9 in 10 women have tried to control their weight through dieting which though not in itself alarming, shows how much stock people place on being slim and lean. About 4 teenage girls in every 10 suffers from or has suffered from an eating disorder at one time or another.  

It is therefore important for a parent of a teenage girl to know the signs to look out for in order to determine if their daughter is suffering from an eating disorder. There are quite a number of eating disorders such as binge eating, anorexia, bulimia, and others. Knowing about them and being able to determine if your daughter is suffering from them helps a parent to know exactly which eating disorder their daughter could be suffering from and how best to deal with it.

However, most teenagers with eating disorders take great measures to ensure that those around them do not notice it, especially if they are suffering from bulimia or anorexia. Thus, it is important for a parent to be observant and know the signs that may point to an eating disorder.

Some of the symptoms include an obsession with not gaining weight or losing it, an unhealthy obsession with eating right and dieting, avoiding functions and places where food is presented, performing certain rituals while preparing food and eating, and visiting the toilet immediately after eating.

Other signs that may not necessarily mean that someone is suffering from an eating disorder, but should nonetheless act as red flags, include exercising obsessively, sudden mood changes, lethargy and fatigue, and constantly weighing oneself.

Physical signs of an eating disorder may also manifest themselves as time passes. They will usually differ according to the eating disorder a teenager is suffering from. Tooth decay and discoloration, dried and parched lips, flaky and dry skin, broken and cracked nails, and a sudden change in body weight, whether it is weight loss (bulimia or anorexia), or weight gain (binge eating) are just some of the complications and signs that may arise as a result of eating disorders.

Categories
Recovery

Finding Help For Your Daughter’s Depression

Finding Help for Your daughter’s Depression

Children are known to be rebellious, moody, and emotional. This is considered normal childhood behavior. Depression, however, is a whole different thing. It is a mental condition which can linger for weeks or even months.  

Girls are more likely to experience depression than boys especially as they approach puberty. Although hormonal changes are not wholly to blame for depression in girls, these changes are known to contribute to pre-adolescent and adolescent stresses.

As a parent, the first thing you have to understand is that depression goes way beyond moodiness. Fortunately, depression in kids is treatable.

  • Avoid assumptions

Talk to the family, school faculty, and fiends about it. It is also wise to take her to a pediatrician to make sure there are no physical issues such as pains, aches, and fatigue.

  • Talk to her

If you show her love and understanding, she is likely to open up to you. To fully understand the causes of your daughter’s depression, you may have to learn more about the condition from a professional or by reading books. Make the communication as voluntary as possible, never pressuring her to talk.

  • Find ways to keep her busy

Insist that they wake up as usual, do the dishes, make their beds and join the family at meals. They should also complete their homework in time. When kids are depressed, they tend to prefer to stay alone, away from others. You shouldn’t let them behave this way. Being depressed should never be an excuse to skip responsibilities. Of course you shouldn’t yell at them, but you have to coach them.

  • Encourage them to find engaging activities

Exercising daily or 3 to 4 times a week will help them forget about their troubles for a while. They can also keep journals, as writing or scribbling will help them express their feelings. They can also often find support from peer and family members whom she’s comfortable sharing her feelings with.

  • Seek professional treatment

If she is not showing signs of improvement after trying this, see a clinical social worker or a professional counselor for help.

Summary

Depression affects 5% of adolescents so you should never worry too much if your daughter shows symptoms of being depressed. If you act accordingly, you will help her get through the bad times.

Schedule your consultation or call us at 866-889-3665.

Categories
Recovery

Forgiveness is Key When It Comes To Being Sober

Forgiveness is Key When It Comes To Being Sober

Emotional distress has been found to be a trigger for substance abuse. People who are feeling angry, anxious, resentment and experiencing other emotions strongly, both negative and positive such as euphoria, may find themselves using drugs more and more. This can lead to addiction and using drugs as a coping mechanism when faced with unfavourable conditions. 

Once someone has decided to break their substance abuse habits and embarked on recovery and being sober, it is important for them to include forgiveness as a step in their therapy. When one holds on to resentment towards others or themselves while fighting a drug or substance abuse addiction, it is easy to relapse to cope with the emotional stress.

Whether one is just starting therapy so as to get sober or have been sober for a while, forgiveness plays a crucial role in the success of the recovery process. While an addict is still using, they are likely to cause others a lot of pain and suffering, be it financial, emotional or physical and to also engage in activities that are harmful to others and to themselves. The feelings of guilt and shame worsen the cycle as they make the addict seek more of the drug in an effort to numb the pain. If not properly addressed, trespasses and wrongs done to others as well as feelings guilt and shame make it harder for one to move on and to stay sober.

Holding on to things others have done to us and staying angry is like holding on to a hot coal, bound to hurt the person holding on to the grudge the most. It is therefore important for anyone recovering from drug and substance abuse to being sober, to forgive others for being wronged by them not only as a means of ensuring they stay on track and remain sober but also for the emotional freedom and peace of mind.

Asking for forgiveness from others that one has wronged is also important as it reduces the feeling of guilt and shame while also helping to rebuild relationships that have been adversely affected by one’s substance and drug abuse. Whether they decide to forgive one is not as important as having taken the step towards reconciliation and making things better.

The most important thing is for one to forgive themselves as it makes it easier to move on past an addiction and mistakes.

Categories
Recovery

Molly and The Effect it is Having On Our Children

Molly and the Effects it is Having On Our children

Molly, short for “molecule” is a 3, 4-Methylenedioxy-N-methylmphetamine (MDMA) chemical popular in the streets and in parties where it is normally used as Ecstasy – which it is actually not. The drug comes in crystal or powder form.  

The effects of MDMA resemble those of both psychedelics and stimulants. A normal dose of the drug lasts approximately four to six hours in the body. Molly increases the activity of neurotransmitters within the brain which results in users feeling energized, happy and empathetic towards others.

Effects of Molly on our children

  • Feeling of openness, unafraid and strong connection to people around them

This is the main reason why the drug is frequented in parties and social settings. The effects of MDMA are stimulated by sound, smells, touch and visuals. It causes dilation of the pupils and sensitivity to light. As sensations heighten, these children will want to intensify their feelings by talking, dancing and uncontrolled touching.

  • Hyperthermia

Hyperthermia refers to a life-threatening increase in body temperature. Interestingly, the condition is not directly triggered by the drug, but by excessive physical application such as dancing. Molly makes children want to dance a lot so they will often dance until they are completely worn out. If the “party” was taking place in an overheated environment and the child fails to replenish fluids, there is a high risk of hyperthermia.

  • Molly being illegal, has no known “safe” dose

You will be surprised that a number of drugs sold as Molly or Ecstasy are not actually MDMA’s. Besides, Molly powder may contain varying levels of Methylene-dioxyamphetamine as well as several other stimulants like Caffeine or anesthetics like Ketamine. All these can amplify potential harms of the drug.

  • Molly also has several other side effects including dizziness, chilling, blurred vision, sweating, nausea and forceful clenching of the teeth (also known as bruxism)

Summary

The Drugs Enforcement Administration (DEA) categorizes Molly as a schedule-1 controlled substance to mean that it has a high potential to be abused and is not accepted in medical treatment. You should therefore help your kid stay away from the drug from an early age.

Schedule your consultation or call us at 866-889-3665.

Categories
Addiction Mental Health Recovery Wellness

Finding Hope in Recovery and Beyond

Hope is fleeting or nonexistent for someone locked in the downward spiral of mental illness and substance abuse. In many ways, the transient quality of hope in the mind of the sufferer creates a sense of dissonance; it always seems to be out of reach. Recovery makes space for a more tangible kind of hope to develop and take root.  The hope we do have when we are in our diseases is hope for an escape. However, the hope we have in recovery is revised to resemble its true meaning: a desire for something good to happen and the capability to see its fruition.

 

We need to integrate hope into our lives as part of our recovery, viewing it as an action rather than as a “thing” to grasp. If we are going to recover, we have to have a life worth living, and building a foundation for hope is one of the actions needed to create such a life. This provides us with something to reach for and hope becomes something actively fostered in our lives.

 

There are some basic things one can do to work toward bringing hope into their lives:

 

Connection: Connect with others and begin to develop healthy relationships with people. The fellowship in 12-step meetings is helpful in creating connection with others. Fellowship provides opportunities to build new relationships with people who are on the same path. Within that context, one can begin to heal old relationships and build new ones.

 

Have fun: How often does someone come into recovery and assume that because they aren’t drinking and using that “fun” is off the list? Guess what—it’s not. When you realize you can laugh, and I mean, a stomach-clutching-falling-over kind of laugh all without the use of drugs or alcohol, it is liberating.

 

Get an education: This is a positive step to building hope for a fuller, better future.  Feeding your mind with knowledge and realizing your potential is a powerful thing. An education provides fertile soil for hope to take root and blossom.  It puts our foot on the path toward building a future that we want to be a part of.

 

We recognize that many of our teens and their families have lost hope. We support families in developing courage to change, and we foster the desire to heal. Every week, Visions facilitates Recovery Fun outings where we encourage teens to have fun, to laugh, and to find joy in their recovery.  We host yearly alumni and client events such as: the Big Bear ski trip, our staff vs. alumni softball game, our Catalina Adventure, and Halloween Fright Night. Fostering joy and laughter breeds healing and it leads to hope. Having fun reminds us that we are alive!  Just because we are dealing with heavy issues doesn’t mean that joy doesn’t exist.  We won’t let kids give up on themselves—we want them to start to recognize their potential. We give them skills that provide them with the knowledge that they are capable, and with that, they build an environment of hope.

 

Categories
Adolescence Feelings Mental Health Recovery

Willingness: A Condition of Recovery

Willingness means: “The quality or state of being prepared to do something.” 

 

Finding willingness to take a leap into the unknown is a feat that is often met with great resistance. Early on, one is asked how willing they are to change their behaviors, their circle of friends, or their reactions to difficulty. They are asked to find the willingness to take that first step toward healing, because the truth is, no one can make you take that step—you have to do it yourself. It takes the willingness of the person seeking change. And it’s scary. There is a perceived safety in our dysfunction but what that really is, is familiarity.

 

How often have we found ourselves doing the same thing over and over again even though we know we shouldn’t? Where is our resolve? For starters, that resolve is wrapped up in the dysfunction of addiction and untreated mental health. However, it is our willingness to seek out our resolve, which ultimately invites real change to occur.

 

Someone who shows a lack of willingness does so by perpetually making excuses, redirecting themselves to something more familiar and less uncomfortable, and fundamentally getting in their own way. Often, the message received is that one needs to be ready to recover, but readiness is not synonymous with willingness.  For example, imagine your family member has just completed detox, and they are now clear headed enough to begin the healing process. Essentially, they are ready. But instead of taking action, they start making excuses: “I’m good now. I will go to a meeting tomorrow,” or “What do you mean you don’t trust me, I’m clean now!” And in cases where mental health is the issue, we hear,” I feel fine. I’m taking my meds. I can see my therapist next week.” Or, “I am good! I don’t need my meds today.” Readiness is a moot point; in these scenarios, its willingness that is absent.

 

What does it take?

 

  • Take contrary action – Go to a meeting, even when you don’t want to. Take a commitment. No one wants to clean up after a meeting, but we do it anyway.
  • Ask for help – Feeling overwhelmed, stressed, frustrated? Call someone! Reach out. And keep those therapy appointments. They are there to help you, regardless of how uncomfortable they can be at times.
  • It is ok not to be ok – At some point, we learn that feeling our feelings is part of the recovery process – accepting that is another story. However, when we move against our feelings in an attempt to run away from them, we suffer more.

Willingness is action, and it is the key to the door of recovery. What are you waiting for?

Categories
Addiction Adolescence Alcoholism Alumni Guest Posts Recovery

Alumni Voices: Alcoholics Anonymous Through the Lens of Adolescence

We are really honored to be able to share another alumni post, this one talking about Alcoholics Anonymous through the lens of a young person.  Having come to recovery as a young adult myself, her words resonate with me. It’s not easy walking in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous as a young person, but the beauty of young peoples’ meetings is the camaraderie and unspoken understanding amidst the community.  No one wants to hang out in a smokey room, drinking bad coffee on a Saturday night…unless you have to be there. And these young people get that. They get that they have to be there and they show up, week after week, day after day, learning ways in which to show up for themselves and their recovery:

 

Walking into a room of Alcoholics Anonymous may be the most defining moment in an alcoholic’s life. I know it was pretty life changing for me. Not necessarily in the sense that my life was being threatened by my drug use (although my behavior was), but in the sense that if I hadn’t made it to rehab and to these rooms, I would not be where I am or who I am today.

I sat in the pre-meeting the other night, waiting for it to begin, when it struck me. “Where would I be if I hadn’t gone to rehab and been introduced to these rooms? What would my life look like?” Many people in the Young People’s rooms go through Treatment, many don’t. What matters is that whoever they are, if they are alcoholic, they make it to the rooms of AA.

My beliefs vary when it comes down to an alcoholic’s diagnosis. Sometimes I believe that an alcoholic is born an alcoholic, sometimes I believe they become one. When it comes to myself, I don’t exactly know. I still struggle with identifying, even at meetings, and especially when a speaker has a gnarly story.

I believe this is a common thread in the rooms of AA. Comparing ourselves to others is pretty standard among alcoholics, particularly in the rooms with young people. I used to think that the young people’s meetings were fake and ridiculous. I thought it was like a talent show. Everyone gets all dressed up just to call attention to themselves. That’s not what the principles state and its not what the program is about.

I know now that I was just uncomfortable and insecure, and I was projecting my feelings of dislike for myself into the room. One of my favorite counselors in rehab, who was a young person in the program and who I was very close to and respected very much, challenged my dislike and asked “Where else are we going to get all dressed up to go on a Saturday night?”

When you walk into the rooms of a young peoples’ meeting, a thick smog of E-cig vapor coats the room. It’s so clouded that if the lighting is right and you are sitting far back enough, sometimes you can’t even see the speaker clearly. Everyone is uncomfortable and many people are new to the program. There are a handful of people that are “chronic relapsers,” but they keep coming back. That’s what’s so special about this program.

Altogether, there are many years of sobriety in the room. These meetings are popular; even a few from the older crowd shuffle in. We are all for having a good time, yet most people take the meeting very seriously; it’s life and death for many people. That’s what’s so special about these meetings.

Some of us are very judgmental, its honestly because we are insecure about ourselves. Many of us have been through the wringer, and we are sick and tired of being sick and tired. We are the only people who truly get one another. That’s what’s so special about people in recovery.

 

 

Categories
Family Mental Health Recovery

Ways A Family CAN Pick up the Pieces and Recover

Healing a family from addictive behaviors and emotional dysregulation takes work.


It takes willingness from all parties involved and a moment of clarity from the addict as well as the family in order to get the ball rolling. It takes dedication and a commitment from the entire family system. When someone says, “I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired,” it helps us to recognize that this is the brain’s way of taking a breath of fresh air. That “breath of fresh air” is the internal shift an addict or alcoholic needs to embrace and encourage them to move toward the next level. In our last blog, we noted the following 4 things a family needs for recovery. I thought it wise to break it down further:

 

1. A healthy home

2. Mental and physical health

3. Sense of purpose

4. To have and build a sense of community

 

What does a healthy home look like?

When when Visions’ Noelle Rodriguez, Psy.D. is working with families and helping them heal broken or disrupted family systems, she stresses the importance of “having an intentional culture in the home that supports open communication, boundaries that are well defined, and have mutual respect.” In this way, home can become a refuge instead of a place of commotion.

 

Mental and Physical Health:

If a mental health diagnosis has been made, it is imperative that there is consistency with medication, consistent medical and psychological follow-ups, and that the family as whole is on the same page. Recovery requires a broadening net of support. It often begins with the clinical support in treatment, and expands to include a network of sober, healthy peers, and often reparation of the family system.

 

Sense of Purpose:

Find something that inspires you:  Something that is positive and supports your path on recovery. Remember, purpose is another word for motivation: take commitments at meetings, be of service, volunteer somewhere that you love, take a morning walk. Joseph Rogers, Assistant Education Director at Visions’ IOP says, “If students/clients don’t have a light at the end of the tunnel, something to look forward to, it is hard for them to see why they should continue making an effort.”

 

To have and build a sense of community:

One of the most amazing things about treatment and the path to recovery is fellowship (community). Knowing that you have a net of like-minded people in your corner is a powerful salve. How often do we hear the John Burroughs quote, “Leap and the net will appear”? I have to tell you from my own recovery experience, building and sustaining a healthy community of support and care has shown me truth in that very quote. I have leapt often and each time, I have been met with an incredible “net” that I call community. Your community will tell you the truth, love you when you can’t love yourself, and hold you accountable when you make a fool of yourself. Community aka fellowship is a glorious thing.

 

I recently heard something I found revolutionary from an addiction psychiatrist about hitting bottom, saying that it’s important that we as professionals and families “eliminate rock bottom as a condition of recovery and find the right conditions for recovery.” This moved me because it encourages taking action sooner, it encourages destigmatizing what recovery can look like, and it provides a sense of hope. Families need hope. They need to believe that recovery is possible. They need to know and understand in the fiber of their being that there is light at the end of the tunnel. UCLA’s Dr. Tim Fong said, “Addiction and mental health are not necessarily curable conditions, but they are controllable conditions.” In other words, recovery is attainable.

 

Categories
Addiction Adolescence Mental Health Parenting Recovery

Addiction and Mental Health: Inspired by David Sheff

We recently had the opportunity to hear David Sheff, author of “Beautiful Boy” and “Clean“, speak about addiction and mental health at UCLA’s Friends of the Semel Institute’s Open Mind series.  Sheff is a journalist, and New York Times best-selling author who writes and speaks about addiction and recovery though the lens of a parent and as a well-researched journalist. Our family program is dedicated to approaching recovery from the eyes of the addict and those within the family system. David Sheff reminded me of the parental side of addiction and mental health that we don’t always hear.

 

Our kids are our babies: we see them as our innocent, silly, curious, innocent offspring. When it comes to addiction and mental health issues, parents often hang on to this ideology, telling themselves, “Not OUR kids. Addiction and mental health issues happen to other families.”  There is a natural contradiction that occurs, marking the innocence parents seek to hold on to and the utter despair and devastation that is actually taking place.  Addiction and mental health could care less about your financial status, race, religion, or gender, or age.  What David Sheff does is talk about it. He names the elephant in the room. He invites parents to face the shadow side of addiction and mental health and bring it into the fore. He challenges us as a culture to unabashedly squash the stigma associated with addiction and mental health.

 

This stigma I’m talking about increases the suffering families experience around addiction and mental health. It inhibits one’s ability to move through the processes required to heal. If worry and concern about what people migt say hangs over the head of a family, how willing will they be to do the work? How frequently will they suffer in silence? How long will they go before asking for help? Shame is the muzzle of addiction.

 

Sheff pointed out some staggering facts:

 

  • 80% of children will try drugs or alcohol before age 18.
  • Addiction is the #3 killer
  • The #1 reason teens use drugs: Stress
  • 90% of addictions begin before 21
  • Only 6% of pediatricians are able to recognize drug use
  • There are 3000 addiction informed physicians and over 3 million addicts

 

But he also reminds us of this: these kids who are suffering from addiction and mental health issues aren’t bad kids; they are our kids. The focus needs to be on what is causing the use of drugs and alcohol, not the drugs and alcohol themselves.  Kids are using because of stress, anxiety, social situations, trauma, et cetera. Our kids live in an environment that resembles a pressure cooker. I teach yoga to teens and tweens and I can tell you from my experiences with my students, the main reason they are there is because of stress and anxiety. And part of my work with them is teaching them tools for self-regulation.

These kids, our kids, need a reprieve from their overwhelm. Sure, drugs might offer a quick fix, but they don’t offer a solution. The solution has to come in the form of recovery, stress management and developing healthier means of self-regulation that allow for a better approach to being overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed out.  If there are addiction or issues of mental health, it becomes imperative to give them a voice. Shame keeps us silent. Shame keeps us sick. Shame increases our suffering.

 

Dr. Tim Fong, an addiction psychiatrist at UCLA also had some salient things to say that evening, but one that really strikes home is this.  Families need the following 4 things for recovery:

 

1. A healthy home

2. Mental and physical health

3. Sense of purpose

4. To have and build a sense of community

 

I encourage parents to seek help if they recognize that their child is in trouble. You are not alone in your fear, your suffering, or your need to be heard. Your child needs to be seen and heard as well, and the sooner you can get them the help they need, the sooner the recovery process can begin. Remember this: if your child has some hiccups in their recovery, YOUR recovery doesn’t have to hiccup as well.

 

I will leave you with this, a quote from Anne Lamott: “Never compare your insides to other people’s outsides.”

Categories
Adolescence Dual Diagnosis Family Parenting Recovery

An Intensive Family Program Promotes Healing the Family System

Visions knows that a family in crisis needs requires an intensive family program. It doesn’t benefit a family to be viewed as having individual branches that need to be removed, trimmed or repaired. We are thrilled to be building out our 3-day intensive family program with the help of Jeff and Terra Holbrook. They have been doing family work for almost two decades and are deeply committed to healing the family system. Their insight and experience are invaluable and in line with the  culture of Visions. Visions wants the family to heal from the inside out; We require all families to go to:

  • Weekly parent support groups;
  • Weekly multi-family groups; and
  • Individual family sessions.

Families are also encouraged to go to outside support groups (Al-Anon, AA, ACA, Refuge Recovery, et cetera).  When we meet with families, we address issues of attachment, enmeshment, codependency, and we assist families in creating healthy boundaries. The recovery process requires a level of willingness and curiosity on everyone’s part and it is particularly important to do family work because addiction and mental health are rooted in the family system. It is not uncommon for parents and loved ones affected by their child’s addiction or mental illness to become angry, place blame, distance themselves from their child, or try to fix the problem themselves; often times, the focus remains on the addict. Here’s where an intensive family program comes in.

 

Think of the family system as a garden. Imagine the roots of everything in the garden weaving their way through nutrient rich soil containing love, respect, healthy boundaries, positive attention, and connection to healthy resources. Now imagine what happens when that same soil becomes fallow: The roots begin to suffer from neglect, abuse, abandonment, deprivation, and entanglement; the garden begins to whither away, grasping onto whatever is closest to try to survive. Family systems need to be nurtured from their root systems all the way up. Removing one unhealthy part won’t allow the entire system to heal. In fact, the entire root system will malfunction as a result.

 

Our intensive family program provides salient educational tools for parents to learn to face addiction and mental health in a healthier way. Families must begin to unpeel their own layers, and begin looking deeply within themselves and at the origins of their own root systems. Parents must also understand what they are asking their kids to do to recover, and more importantly, it’s invaluable for parents to show their kids they are willing to do the same hard work.  For example, if a family is asking their kids to look at how they are powerless, that same family needs to ask themselves the same question.  Addiction and mental health are a family disease; they are not isolated incidents wherein one family member goes rogue. As David Sheff, author of Clean says, “The addicted are not morally bereft, they are ill.”

 

An intensive family program will also help parents move away from the stigma of mental health and addiction and move toward acceptance and healing.  Families are often surprised to find out that their feelings are in line with their child’s: Both may feel angry, betrayed, ashamed, scared, resentful, frustrated, tired, and so on. When parents are able to shed a light on these similarities, the willingness to look at the hows and whys of addiction and mental illness becomes more palpable. Recognizing this similarity also elicits compassion and empathy for their child and for themselves. When a family can recognize that everything is connected, recovery can truly bloom.

Exit mobile version