Talking about someone’s weight, and participating in fat talk and body-snarking are ways in which we can devalue someone’s self-worth, or derail their recovery.

What we say and how we say it can have a profound effect on the person we’re talking to. Phrases like, “Wow, you look great, did you lose weight?” are often weighted with subconscious, unspoken judgment, and the implication that the person on the receiving end didn’t look as great before. Within this context, there is an intimation that one’s value increases or decreases based upon their external presence. Thusly, when someone suffers from an eating disorder, fat talk exists internally and externally, making these types of statements a trigger and increasing the potential for relapse.  In other words, “It’s so good to see you!” is more helpful than, “You’ve lost weight!”

Fat talk occurs on a daily basis in the lives of girls (and boys) starting in elementary school and extending across the age span to include women (and men) in their later years. Statements like “Wow, look at you, you look so great!” or “Have you lost weight?” or “Wow, you gained weight! That’s so great!” are common and may be said with good intentions, however the negative effect of these statements for someone in recovery is often shame, negative self-talk, self-doubt, and self-judgment, leaving them in an emotionally debilitating space.

Working in recovery affords us an opportunity to shift our lens to one of inclusion. We are in a prime position to help shift this culture of fat-talk and body-shaming toward a healthier, more comprehensive way in which to communicate with those around us. As we hold space for clients working with eating disorders, we shift the way we communicate; likewise, we become aware that some of our co-workers are in recovery for similar things, allowing us to also shift our conversations other areas of our lives. Part of recovery requires that we change our actions and our interactions with others—shifting and broadening the lens through which we see others.  When we speak wisely and with clear intent, we will create an environment of emotional safety for those around us.

Ashley Harris, one of Visions’ Recovery Mentors shared her experience with me about this topic, saying, “Commenting on weight is pointless. There’s so much more to a person than physical appearance. If you want to compliment someone tell them how they’ve affected you or influenced you. Tell them you love them. So many times people have commented on my body, thinking they’re being nice, and it’s spun me out for the rest of the day. I would much rather hear that I made someone laugh or smile than hear that I look like I’ve lost weight. I no longer base my value and self worth on the number on the scale.”

I also spoke to Joseph Rogers, our Assistant Director of Education, and he echoes the same thing, “We have to be careful with any comments that engage the idea that self-worth is somehow tied to our appearance.”

In truth, it’s much more helpful to say “I’ve missed you,” then “You look great.” Or, “It’s so good to see you,” then “Look how skinny you are.” While a compliment is lovely, we work in a tender environment and live in a culture that places altogether too much value on our outsides. We are all perfect just the way we are. If anything, our perceived imperfections are the very things that make us beautiful.

Try some of these things to encourage self-care and to develop self-love:

• Write yourself notes and leave them around. Imagine how it might feel to open your sock drawer and see a note that said, “You’re beautiful!”
• Practice acts of kindness toward yourself: get a mani/pedi, or a foot massage (those $25 ones are great!), go to a restorative yoga class, or put your feet in the sand.
• Allow yourself to cry.
• Surround yourself with people who truly have your best interests in mind.

Next time you feel compelled to comment on someone’s weight as a conversation starter, find a softer approach: “I’ve missed you,” “You have such a great sense of humor,” or “You really helped me the other day, thank you.” Challenge yourself to be kinder to yourself and to others. We are all enough, we are all beautiful, and we are all perfect: just the way we are.

Find the Best Adolescent Drug Treatment in Southern California

According to a report by the National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH), 9.4% of the U.S. population, an equivalent of approximately 23.2 million people aged 12 years or more, needed treatment for illicit drug and alcohol use in 2007. You can only expect that the number has increased over the past few years. Sadly, only 10.4% of this number received such treatment. This means that approximately 8.4% of the country’s population needed treatment for abuse of illicit drugs but never received such treatment.  

Adolescents need special attention. This lot is actually very vulnerable given the psychological and biological changes they are undergoing, usually characterized with stresses, emotions, and even depression. Since they are not always willing to accept their use of drugs, parents have to be extra keen on their teens.

Look Out for the Symptoms

Symptoms of drug addiction in adolescents include:

• Problems at school – missing classes or school, sudden disinterest in school related activities, and a drop in grades.
• Physical health problems – look out for general lack of energy or motivation.
• Altered behavior – you know how your teen behaves, so you can tell if he or she is acting differently. While teens are known to be private, exaggerated efforts to stop family members from entering their rooms may be suspicious. They may also bar you from knowing where they are going with friends.
• Neglected appearance – adolescents are generally well groomed people. If he or she appears no longer interested in their appearance, something must be wrong.
• Increased expenses – teens start asking for additional money without reasonable explanations of how they intend to spend it. Money may start disappearing from places previously considered safe. Sometimes items also disappear because these teens are selling them to get money for the drugs.

Visions Adolescent Addiction Treatment

Addiction, though sometimes complicated, is very treatable. At Visions Adolescent Teen Treatment Center in southern California, residents are assessed for specific needs including psychological, psychiatric, and medical status. Medical treatment is provided by licensed medical doctors, psychiatric assessment by the psychiatric director, and psychological services by contracted psychologists. Once residential treatment is complete, teens are introduced to a discharge plan developed by the counselor for continued care needs.

Call 886-889-3665 to talk to one of our specialists about adolescent drug treatment.

The Best Licensed Adolescent Addiction Program in California

Visions’ licensed Adolescent Addiction Program offered at Malibu, California is probably one the best in the country. It is safe, supportive, intensive and filled with daily activities intended to help residents come to terms with their stresses and begin to take steps towards a healthy, productive lifestyle.  

The program is open to persons between 13 and 18 who stay at the facility for between 45 and 90 days depending on individual needs. Males and females sleep in different quarters and parents and guardians are continually involved to encourage co-existence. Clients live two in a room and supervision is availed both in the day and at night with Crisis Intervention available on a 24 hour basis.

The treatment team consists of licensed therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors, medical doctors, a supervising nurse, art therapists, a registered dietitian, and an equine therapist.

Program Goals

The main objective of the addiction treatment program at Malibu is to help adolescents achieve and sustain a productive lifestyle. First, these teens are made to recognize the presence of destructive behaviors in their lives and the impacts of such behaviors on their friends, family, and even their futures. The kids are made to recognize situations that may cause one to use drugs to cope with life’s stressors and made to understand that drugs actually DO NOT solve problems. They are then equipped with skills useful in developing more effective problem-solving strategies. At the end of the program, they are taught how to change certain behaviors to prevent relapses.

Furthermore, these teens are allowed to select additional treatment goals. This category of goals includes pursuing vocational and education interests, and exploring past or present recreational interests and pursuits.

Services

Therapeutic – in this stage, residents are assessed and treated for medical, psychological and psychiatric problems. Some of the tests conducted include sexual compulsivity assessment, eating disorder assessment, neurological testing, psychological testing, and psychiatric addiction.

Adjunct services – these are programs provided to enhance the treatment goals of each teen.  They include an onsite school, a conditioning program, equine therapy, nutritional services, psychological services, and an aftercare program.

Family services – Visions family treatment programs help parents turn their anger, fear, hopelessness, helplessness, and anxiety into hope, trust, acceptance, awareness, and healthy communication.

Click below for more information on the adolescent addiction program in Malibu, California.

How To Guide Your Teen Through a Sober Halloween

Keeping Your Teen Sober Through Halloween

Halloween, just like most social holidays is a time for people to meet with friends and have fun. For teens, this can be a very trying moment especially if people around them are drinking and using other drugs. Nonetheless, there are several steps you can take as a parent to ensure that your kid fully enjoys his or her Halloween without getting high. These include ensuring that the child does the following: 

• Stays around sober friends – while the aim remains staying away from alcohol, it’s always good to start by being in the company of sober friends. These friends can be met through support groups, in church or rehab, or through other social meetings. In so doing, these kids can effectively control their environment.
• Engages in activities that do not encourage drinking – kids should never be kept locked at home because it is Halloween and they risk doing unwanted things. This can result in isolation and eventually depression. There are plenty of activities which they can participate in without drinking. For example, they can dress up for and go to festivals, have a sober Halloween barbecue, or play in a sober Halloween challenge. They can even watch a scary movie such as Rob Zombie’s Halloween, House of 1000 Corpses, Friday the 13th, or Freddy’s Dead: The Final Chapter. Kids can also research and tour the city’s haunted locations and stories.
• Brings along sobriety support – having someone around the whole time who reminds him or her not to drink is a great way of ensuring that they get help throughout the night. The kids must however be very honest with this support team, telling them everything they are doing and contacting them in case of a problem.
• Is not the “life” of the party – make it clear that your kid must not be the one whom everything revolves around. Actually, you may as well insist that they arrive at the party late and leave before it ends.
• Doesn’t attend at all – this would be an option of last resort but perhaps the most assuring. If they are not at the party, they won’t find the influence, nor will they come in contact with the booze.

Please call 866-889-3665 for more information on keeping your teen sober during Halloween.

How To Handle Your Child’s Depression During Halloween

Kids generally love Halloween. Most of them wait for the day anxiously and unless the unexpected happens, they will do all they can to make it a memorable period. However, not all children anticipate the holiday. Sometimes the fear and anxiety are just too much for the kid, often leading to the child’s depression. Acknowledging anxiety of the occasion is the first step in helping your child deal with these challenges. As a parent you can help by:

• Talking to them about it – make time to talk to the kid about the scariness of Halloween and what it all means.  See if you can get Ferre Leavers’ Box Full of Feelings, which is a great resource for helping kids understand and deal with feelings. If not, you can make your own box of feelings based around the four major feelings – fear, anger, happiness, and sadness. At the end of your lesson, the child should be able to get in touch with their inner feelings, recognize and name their emotions, and be able to accept such feelings.
• Discuss the creepy noises – a great deal of their depression is likely to come from the weird and creepy noises. If you are taking him or her to a Halloween event for the first time, they may find the environment to be disturbing.
• Let them play with the masks ahead of time – if you let the child see, touch, and play with the peek-a-boo mask before you are at the event, the fear is likely to be gone by the time they arrive.
• Everyone dresses up – as part of a group play, encourage your kid to dress up. Actually, it would be much better if everyone participating in the play dress up. You should also encourage the chid to ask others to take off their masks to reveal who they really are.
• Letting them draw pictures to dispel the fear – drawing as an art is a way of expressing emotions. By drawing pictures of monsters and goblins and then discussing what is real and what is not, the child will learn to deal with scary things.

One of the biggest problems with depression is that it’s very difficult to know when it really started. Always call Visions on 866-889-3665 for more information on issues related to Halloween and your child’s depression.

It’s May and that means it is Mental Health Awareness Month. 

America has recognized May as Mental Health Awareness Month since 1949. In many states across the country, there are walks and events raising awareness for Mental Health Awareness Month. NAMI (National Alliance of Mental Illness) puts forth great efforts to educate and advocate for equal care for the millions suffering from mental illness and they encourage clinicians and associates of those struggling with mental illness to continue to be advocates for change and to inspire views on mental health.

In 2013, California passed a new law that requires the “addition of age-appropriate mental health curriculum to the Education Code.” The law make it clear that all public schools within the state of California need to “revise their Health Framework to include the integration of mental health education for grades K-12.” With this being added to the curriculum, the following topics will be addressed:

• Warning signs.
• Symptoms
• Definitions of Common Disorders
• How to obtain mental health services
• How to overcome stigma.

Despite the law going into effect in 2013, the revision of the Health Framework has been postponed twice. The next revision date is slated for the 2015–2016 academic year.  But this doesn’t mean schools can’t begin to implement some of these components into the curriculum. Awareness around mental illness and support for mental health is imperative. 60 million people across the country are living with mental illness, and it’s our job to work to eliminate stigma and raise understanding.

Highlighting mental health awareness month is a step in the right direction. It allows those of us working in the mental health fields to be creators of change, and architects of awareness. Jesse Engdahl, MA, RRW, expresses the importance of mental health awareness perfectly: “People struggling with academic problems, career problems, relationship problems, and even physical problems are often suffering from mental health problems.  This revelation should be a relief, not a label associated with any shame or stigma.”

NAMI has made their resources available for all:

Facts and Stats on Youth Mental Health

Common Mental Health Warning Signs

Facts and Stats on Youth Suicide

NAMI has a ton of information on their Youth and Young Adult page and has also developed a social networking community for teens and young adults with mental illness called Strength of Us. If you or someone you love is suffering from mental illness or worried that you may be experiencing symptoms, there are resources for you. Please reach out. Please ask for help. It is better to know what you’re struggling with so you can heal than to suffer in silence.

Can My Teen get Treatment for Drug Addiction and Depression at the Same Time?

Drug addiction and alcohol abuse can cause mental illnesses. As for mental illnesses causing addiction, it’s always a case of how long the illness has existed. Where mental problems are not diagnosed and treated quickly, the user may get into drugs and alcohol.  

Depression causes discomfort. Affected persons experience overwhelming sadness, numbness, isolation, hopelessness, and sleep and eating disorders. If medication doesn’t appear to be working, these people will seek to self-medicate.

That’s when they try the first few drinks or rounds of cocaine… and it works. The symptoms are gone and they feel much better… though only temporarily. And that’s where the problem lies. As soon as the chemical leaves the body, this person is likely to experience even greater depression. This is also known as withdrawal depression and often triggers use of more alcohol and drugs to free the mind of the bad feelings.

Then there is the complexity of administering medication to a person who uses drugs and alcohol, which have the potential to either strengthen or weaken the medication, which may put the affected person’s life in danger.

Treatment Strategies

Of course both depression and drug addiction are treatable, but how? Well, it is usually critical to identify which came first. Well trained psychotherapists are able to trace the depression to its roots to determine what exactly caused it and how long it has existed. This helps them determine whether or not it existed before the addiction. They can use reports from family, friends, and teachers or employ a psycho-social evaluation to elicit this information.

If the teen is found to have experienced depression way before he or she started on drugs and alcohol, they will need medical intervention for a long period of time. Where the depression started after the addiction, and is therefore thought to have been triggered by the alcohol or drugs, the teen will undergo a wholly different treatment plan.

Parents are therefore expected to play their role in narrating experiences and observations to the doctors so that it becomes possible to identify which problem started first and when.

Please call Visions Adolescent Teen Treatment centers on 866-889-3665 to schedule your consultation for treatment for drug addiction and depression.

Why is Cutting So Common Amongst Teens and How Can You Help Your Child?

A 14 year old rolls up his sleeve, takes a blade in his right hand and draws it across his left wrist. He then watches as blood flows. What’s most saddening is that he doesn’t do it once or twice, but often.  

What could be driving him? Of course he is not attempting suicide. He might even be sitting in a classroom with other kids who actually watch as he pulls the blade out and cuts his wrist. If you are careful, you’ll notice that these kids aren’t stupid; they are mostly cutting their inner thighs and other hidden places that are usually covered by long sleeves and trousers so the scratches won’t show.

Cutting is becoming increasingly popular among teens with girls between 13 and 15 the most affected. In some schools, it has almost become a fashion-statement. Often, their parents don’t have an idea of what they are doing, nor do their teachers.

Why They are Cutting

In most cases, cutting enables them to forget about their problems. Kids, especially adolescents, face many biological and physical changes which often come with feelings of marginalization and self-loathing. Some say they cut because it reassures them they are alive, while others mention the thrill of breaking a taboo or what they call the power of blood. Teen cutting has also become a trend, where some teens do it just because his or her peers are doing it. In most cases however, cutting is usually a sign of an underlying emotional difficulty.

How You Can Help Your Teen

Do

• Respond calmly – state what you’ve observed in a non-judgmental manner
• Talk to them – in most cases the kid won’t raise the topic so you as a parent most initiate dialogue
• Share your feelings – let them know that you care about their feelings

Don’t

• Concentrate on the injury – instead, concentrate on what is driving them to it
• Feel guilty – it is natural for parents to blame themselves for their kid’s cutting, which is not right because cutting results from individual feelings
• Ignore the child – when kids cut, they are not merely looking for attention – There is always a driving factor

Please call 866-889-3665 to talk to a Visions professional about teen cutting.

Why Parents Who Buy Their Kids Alcohol Are Fueling the Fire

A recent survey shows that nearly 40% of parents give their kids alcohol on holidays or when they are celebrating an end to an examination. More than half of the parents interviewed said they would give their 16 and 17 year old five or more bottles of spirits or wines for a week.  

Why?

Well, most parents who provide alcohol to their children say they do not want their kids getting the booze from unknown people. 36% say they think it is safer for the kids to get the alcohol from them rather than strangers. A further 22% believe that it makes it easier to track the amount of alcohol the kids consumed.

A number of parents are also introducing their kids to drinking as a “rite of passage.” To them, these kids are bound to drink later in life so they should be taught “safe drinking” from an early age.

Risks

What these parents fail to understand is that introduction to alcohol at such a tender age can have harmful effects on the kids life both in the present and in future. Research shows that young people who have always known that their parents disapprove of substance use are less likely to use alcohol and other drugs like tobacco, marijuana, and even the hard drugs like cocaine and heroin. On the contrary, those who drink with the permission and under the supervision of their parents are likely to remain users of drugs for a long time. Indeed, people who start drinking before they are 15 are up to five times more likely to become addicts compared to those who start drinking after 21.

These kids also face several health risks. Alcohol is directly to blame for memory loss and has adverse effects on long term thinking. Drinking also hampers hormonal balance which is critical for adolescents, a stage associated with enormous growth of organs, bones and muscles.

For kids, alcohol has often caused poor academic performance and engagement in risky behaviors such as unprotected sex, fights, self-harm, and even car wreckage.

Instead of giving alcohol to kids, parents should actually be helping their loved ones abstain from it.

Call 866-889-3665 to talk to a professional at Visions Teen Adolescent Treatment Centers for more information.