Categories
Substance Abuse

Is Substance Use a Part of “Normal” Teen Behavior?

Typically, teen behavior tends to be rebellious and boundary-pushing. Adolescents are seeking ways to defy authority and establish an experienced understanding of what is and is not okay. They are not content with rules and edicts, and experimentation is par for the course.

But does that mean parents should expect teens to experiment with drugs, as well? Is a lax approach to something as serious as substance use a positive and healthy way to deal with the inevitable, or does it invite harmful teen behavior that does not play a positive role in a teen’s development? Is it really “normal” and expected for kids to use drugs?

The answer depends on individual factors. Some teens grow up under circumstances that normalize drug use. Some cultures even see it as a rite of passage. But that does not make it healthy nor ideal, and many people underestimate the number of teens and young adults who have not used drugs, including alcohol.

While drug use doesn’t automatically doom your child to a life of crime, and the vast majority of those who grow up to develop substance use issues do so due to co-occurring mental health problems and/or serious socioeconomic factors, it is still a very risky teen behavior, and one that shouldn’t be brushed off as normal or part of the everyday modern teen experience.

Why Teens Use Drugs

Most people understand that drugs are dangerous. And most people who use drugs are intelligent enough to factor this knowledge into their decision-making process. They understand that continued drug use can be a sign of addiction and choose to use drugs despite the risks. This goes for legal substances like alcohol and nicotine, and illicit drugs as well. But teens are vulnerable in a unique way because their ability to recognize and factor risk in any decision-making process is inherently flawed.

Teens often overlook or downplay the risk of anything they do, in part because their brain has not developed the necessary tools to let them consider the dangers of what they are doing. It is not until the mid-to-late 20s that a person develops the total mental acuity needed to properly assess risk (some better than others) and make informed decisions. On the other hand, teens are more than capable enough of enjoying the short-term pleasures of drug use. Too capable, in fact, compared to the rest of their brain.

Drugs like cannabis, alcohol, nicotine, illicit substances like cocaine and heroin, and prescription drugs each interact with the teen brain in their own way. Because teen brains are still in development, positive reinforcement is that much stronger, and leaves a much longer-lasting impact. In other words, just as teens generally learn faster than older adults, so too does their brain translate that drugs = pleasure at a faster and stronger rate.

As a result, research shows that age of first use plays an important role in the development of addiction, and that delaying a teen’s exposure to any drug can reduce chances of addiction. This explains why teens might use drugs even if they know drugs are bad, and it helps explain why minimizing or eliminating drug use during adolescence is important in reducing rates of addiction. But there are other factors involved in teen drug use, particularly ones that serve as motivating factors for first-time use.

Parent-Child Relationships and Peer Influences on Teen Behavior

We have all heard of the impact of peer pressure on teen drug use. While peer pressure is a contributing factor, it is not as important as it might seem. Teens act rebellious, and they can be a major headache to their parents, but their decision-making process is heavily informed by the quality of their relationship with their parents. Teens who are on good terms with their parents are much less likely to use drugs, particularly if their parents do not approve of them – despite being exposed to drug use among friends.

Overall, parental relationships may be the strongest protective factor against the decision to use drugs. Another important consideration is that conversations centered around health risks are more effective at reducing risk, than those centered around consequences, parent’s own use of drugs, and permissive messages. What parents do also has a strong correlative effect on what teens do.

The decision to experiment with a drug is also informed by a great number of factors aside from parental and peer influence. Curiosity, availability, acute and chronic stressors, and mental health are all important factors, both for and against drug use. Mental health issues are a contributing factor as well – teens with depressive symptoms or symptoms of anxiety are much more likely to try and use drugs.

Does Your Teen Understand How Drugs Work?

Having an earnest and fact-filled conversation with your teens about drugs and drug use can significantly impact their decision to experiment with drugs, especially if they understand how drugs affect the mind and body, and how drug use negatively impacts long-term health and development. Teens want to be informed, and they would like to be informed by parents who are similarly averse to drug use at home, be it through drinking or something stronger. It is important to convey truthful information.

Kids are and always have been exceedingly good at sniffing out exaggeration and false information, and with the Internet at their fingertips, they can selectively refute anything you give them that isn’t completely true – and by association, they’ll be less likely to listen or trust your message. Psychoactive substances are not inherently bad, as many of them play a role in treating medical issues or have become an accepted part of human culture.

Kids also learn that you do not get addicted from a single hit, or that marijuana turns your brain into mush, or that everyone who drinks becomes an alcoholic. But truthful messaging that does not hide the impact that drugs can have on a person (especially early drug use) is still an effective deterrent and generates trust. And trust is something teenagers crave from their parents.

They are seeking autonomy and freedom, and while parents have a responsibility to limit both for their child’s protection, doing so at the cost of their parent-child relationship can push a teen towards using. If you think your child has been using drugs, then taking early action is important. Talk to your teen about the facts – about the impact of early drug use on the developing brain, about the potential long-term effects of “harmless” drugs like marijuana, and the information around misused prescription drugs and alcohol.

Categories
Personality Disorder

How to Identify Personality Disorders in Teens

Personality disorders in teens develop in childhood and adolescence, and benefit from early detection and treatment. But unlike in adults, it can be more difficult for parents to differentiate telltale signs of a personality disorder from “typical teenage behavior”. We expect adults to be more “in control” of their behavior and accept teens sometimes push the limits of what is accepted or expected to learn more about themselves and the world around them.

But when a teen’s behavior hints at a potential personality disorder, early treatment can be the key to developing the necessary coping mechanisms to help them lead fulfilling and happier lives. Left undiagnosed or misdiagnosed, a personality disorder can turn a person’s life upside down, ruining relationships and career opportunities, and isolating them from those who love and care for them. And the longer such a condition develops – especially in the growing mind of a teenager – the more difficult it can be to treat.

Understanding Personality Disorders in Teens

Personality disorders in teens are a series of conditions characterized by thinking and behavior that deviates quite extremely from the norm, to the point it causes long-term distress over months and years, and affects day-to-day functioning across multiple settings (home, school, work, etc). A personality disorder is more than just a strange character trait or an annoying quirk.

A teen diagnosed with an emerging personality disorder is consistently experiencing thoughts (and thereby engaging in behavior) that are dangerous, unacceptable, and/or unhealthy, and that remain rigid and unchanging even in the face of earnest disapproval and multiple adverse experiences. This isn’t their fault. It is a mental health condition often developing as a result of both internal factors (genetic likelihood) and external factors (life experiences and traumatic situations).

Types of Personality Disorders

Personality disorders in teens do not always fit a textbook definition, but years of accumulated research and learning in the field of psychiatry has helped develop three distinct clusters within which most cases fall. These clusters each have their own set of different diagnoses based on very distinct key behaviors and patterns, but individual cases may come with their own unique elements or quirks.

Ultimately, these definitions can help us understand how and why certain thoughts lead to resulting behaviors, but it’s important to know that any one teen will require a wholly individual profile and treatment process. The three main clusters of personality disorders are:

Cluster A – Odd, Magical or Eccentric

Cluster A personality disorders are characterized by “magical” or odd thinking, and examples of strange or distorted perceptions of reality, paranoia, or erroneously seeing connections or patterns where there are none. The three personality disorders in Cluster A are:

    • Paranoid Personality Disorder: Characterized by consistent paranoia and unjustified suspicion, as well as aggressiveness in response to perceived or misinterpreted insults.
    • Schizoid Personality Disorder: Characterized by a detached and seemingly emotionless state, lack of interest in other people romantically or sexually, and little to no emotional expression.
    • Schizotypal Personality Disorder: Characterized by odd and peculiar thinking, superstition, belief in magical occurrences or concepts, and strange or unnatural experiences (including auditory hallucinations).

Cluster B – Overly Dramatic or Unpredictable

Cluster B personality disorders are characterized by impulsive and/or dramatic behavior, intense interpersonal conflict, or issues with empathy. The four personality disorders in Cluster B are:

    • Antisocial Personality Disorder: Characterized by “antisocial behavior”, particularly repeatedly disregarding other people’s feelings and needs, unwarranted aggressiveness, lack of remorse, and impulsiveness.
    • Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): Characterized by pervasive and repeated instability in mood and behavior, borderline personality disorder is named such because its definition evolved over decades, starting out as a condition on the “borderline” between other conditions. Other characteristics include threats of suicide, signs of depression, significant ups and downs, risk-taking behavior, and outbursts.
    • Histrionic Personality Disorder: Characterized by attention-seeking behavior, including grand displays of emotion and provocative behavior, such as inappropriate or sexually-suggestive behavior. Other symptoms include repeatedly and consistently making grand statements with little to no substance and being overwhelmingly shallow with one’s thoughts and opinions.
    • Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Characterized by an overwhelming sense of self-importance, delusions of grandeur, extreme arrogance, and aggressiveness in response to any perceived threats to one’s superiority. Narcissistic personality disorder is also characterized by extremely manipulative behavior, and a failure to recognize anyone else as special or worth respecting.

Cluster C – Anxious or Fearful

Cluster C personality disorders are characterized by intense anxiety and fearful thinking, avoidance, or excessive dependence. The three personality disorders in Cluster C are:

    • Avoidant Personality Disorder: Characterized by a crippling level of fear regarding interpersonal contact and social perception, including fear of disapproval and ridicule in every setting, and constant feelings of inadequacy.
    • Dependent Personality Disorder: Characterized by a level of dependence that interferes with normal, everyday function, including being unable to start or continue projects or endeavors alone, lacking any form of self-confidence, and immediately starting new relationships when old ones break down.
    • Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD): Not to be confused with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), OCPD is a personality disorder characterized by an incredibly rigid ruleset, extreme perfectionism, and desire to be in control always.

Personality Disorder Causes

Personality disorders in teens are understood to be caused by a combination of genetic predisposition and certain external risk factors that may trigger their development. Personality is a complex concept, one which in part is informed by our thoughts and behaviors, how they shape the world around us, and how that world feeds back into our mental framework.

While the genetic component implies that there is a neurological difference between people with and without personality disorders, researchers have not identified all the contributing genes, and how they function or cause personality disorders. Neurotransmitters, such as dopamine and serotonin, may play an important role. Current research on genetic epidemiology simply indicates that all currently recognized personality disorders are at least modestly heritable.

Could My Teen Have a Personality Disorder?

Personality disorders in teens are not easy to identify. Emergent personality disorders may appear as little more than strong personality traits, especially in teenagers, who are still developing in every sense. However, if you have serious concerns regarding your teen’s interpersonal skills, sense of self, and other characteristics mentioned previously, it may be a good idea to talk to a professional and ask your teen about visiting a psychiatrist together. They may be confused about their own thoughts and behaviors and frustrated about how hard it is to fit in with others.

Treatment for a personality disorder is not simple, either. There is no cure, and many of these conditions last for a lifetime. Your teen may struggle more with some symptoms and thoughts than others, and most treatment centers around one-on-one therapy with a professional to address, describe, and cope with these thoughts, and control the resulting behaviors. Some symptoms, such as strong feelings of anxiety or depression, may be alleviated through certain medications.

Categories
Education

2020 Back-to-School Emotional Wellness Checklist for Teens

We’re all going through a rough time with the ongoing pandemic. Some of us have lost close friends and loved ones. Many of us have lost work. The stress of isolation can take its toll quickly, and even after lockdowns have lifted, the restrictions we must impose on ourselves can have a tremendous effect on our mental and emotional wellness and health.

Our children are heavily affected, as well. The teenage years are already quite tumultuous and stressful for many growing young adults but add to it a break in routine and learning, and cabin fever, and we’re faced with a generation experiencing a profound impact on their emotional development.

As we continue to navigate this difficult situation and remain cognizant of the dangers of the virus, it’s important to take our children’s (and our own) mental and emotional wellness and well-being into consideration, and work together to stay sane and safe while dealing with the day-to-day effects of the crisis. To help parents and teens alike, here’s our 2020 back-to-school emotional wellness checklist.

Spending More Time With Friends (Safely)

Social contact is important, especially for teens. But what shape or form that contact will take depends highly on the options at hand. As dangerous as COVID-19 is, it’s not the most obvious or looming threat – and we’re only reminded of it when it invariably strikes, either in the news or within the community. This can make it difficult for teens to uphold and remember social distancing guidelines, particularly if they’re hanging out together.

Teens do want to keep each other safe – but that’s not always easy, or possible when interacting socially. Consider encouraging your teen to continue hanging out with friends after lockdowns have ended, but safely and without as much danger of physical contact and viral transmission. While visits to the mall or theater might be out of the question, and activities like basketball or hiking greatly increase the risk of infection, biking (with masks) offers fun while minimizing contact.

There’s always virtual interaction. Chances are your teen already has a group chat or two, and they might even be calling their friends regularly. But if they aren’t, why not bring it up as an idea? Video and voice-only group calls can act as a great substitute to face-to-face meetings, especially when combined with a degree of interactive fun. Video games can oftentimes be a much-needed source of fun, safe social interaction.

There are, of course, risks to overdoing it in the virtual world – most notably cyberbullying and the effects of negative online media. But when used as a tool to stay in touch with friends, the Internet can be a critical tool in keeping sane during these strange times.

Creating and Maintaining Routines

The risks of rumination are greater than ever, especially at a time when routines are falling apart and it’s becoming difficult to keep track of time. Whenever we aren’t keeping ourselves busy, it’s easy for the mind to slip into a bit of despair and anxiety regarding the current state of affairs.

Whether it be from abstract worries to the more immediate complaints of missing out on a tournament due to cancelled events, or missing one’s partner and friends after weeks and months spent apart. Encourage your teen to structure their week, making sure they’re waking up and falling asleep at the same times, and keeping busy with chores, schoolwork, exercising, and socializing.

They might need a little help and a little encouragement, and it’d be a good reason to create and keep up a routine of your own. Having a routine not only lets you keep track of time as the week progresses, but it helps keep your mind busy and active during times where isolation and inactivity can lead to ruminating thoughts, negative feelings, and the fear of being “stuck”.

These feelings can be especially disastrous for teens, as they’re in the middle of learning to form important habits and becoming self-reliant, and they need consistent and healthy sleep schedules to ensure proper emotional and neurological development. Routines also help both teens and adults develop a sense of normalcy and calm any emerging anxieties.

Practicing Self-Care and Improving Emotional Wellness

Self-care is a term that can seem confusing at first, but it generally boils down to anything you can do for yourself to take a break or destress, without necessarily being destructive. That rules out happy hour drinks or going through several bags of junk food, and instead focuses on things like skincare, exercise, cooking, baking, painting, writing, or reading a new book.

Just as routines develop and promote a sense of normalcy and help deal with feelings of anxiety or ruminating thoughts, incorporating these things into your day-to-day can help stave off some of the effects of social isolation and stress, and let teens create a definite boundary between their responsibilities (chores and schoolwork) and the time they use for themselves.

Seeking Teletherapy Related Options and Solutions

For teens who require ongoing physical or mental healthcare, the pandemic crisis may have had a drastic impact on the frequency and level of your teen’s care. It’s important to prioritize effective teletherapy related services to help them continue to deal with the symptoms of their chronic condition.

Some teens have also recently developed mental health problems as a result of COVID-19, including (but not limited to):

    • The recent and sudden school closures.
    • The loss of a loved one.
    • Worries due to financial instability and job loss in the family.

Such problems can include depression, panic attacks, and anxiety. Teletherapy can be an important part of dealing with these severe mental health issues and developing the toolkit to stay safe during the pandemic.

Providing Calm and Steady Support

It’s important for teens (and all of us) to understand that it’s normal to feel anxious in these times, and to lean a little more heavily on those around us as a source of support. Just as it’s important to support one another, stay connected, and maintain self-care routines. With the crisis exacerbating all other stress, balancing mental and emotional wellness is critical.

Categories
Suicide

Is Your Teen Exhibiting Suicidal Tendencies?

While suicidal tendencies, thoughts and actual suicides have unfortunately become more common across the board, they have grown especially rapidly among teens. There is no single factor to blame here, as a myriad of issues contribute: rising rates of depression and anxiety, dire economic difficulties (especially in rural areas), rising rates of violence against LGBTQ teens, COVID, and the opioid crisis are some examples.

But rather than view rising suicides simply within the lens of public health, it’s important to recognize that the most effective way for parents and families to tackle the problem is at home. Family support, greater access to mental health resources, and a more compassionate and understanding stance on the issues surrounding suicide can sometimes make a crucial difference.

Recognizing early on when a teen is contemplating suicide is an important step towards helping them. Understanding suicidal tendencies and why some people feel the urge to commit suicide can help us find better ways to address these thoughts in our loved ones without alienating them.

What Are Suicidal Tendencies?

For every completed suicide, there are about 25 suicide attempts where a person survives. Yet surviving once doesn’t somehow diminish the chance of it happening again – instead, someone who attempted suicide is more likely to try again in the future. Suicidal tendencies refer to suicidal ideation (thoughts) and suicidal behavior (actions), and they can be understood to describe a teen’s likelihood of considering suicide as an option for their pain.

While one should be careful not to normalize suicide, it is important to understand the scope of how it affects those around us – as many as 17 percent of grade 9-12 students seriously contemplated suicide in 2013, while only 2.7 percent made a suicide attempt that required medical attention. Chances are that someone close to you might have, at some low point in their lives, considered the idea. It’s important to empathize with someone who is struggling with suicidal thoughts, even without first-hand experience.

Many who do contemplate suicide are ashamed to bring it up, and often feel they are a burden to others, or don’t want to be labeled unstable or “crazy”. While most people might not personally identify with the urge to commit suicide, there is a natural logic to it for those who do – a point when the despair and pain reaches a level where non-existence is the only alternative. When a loved one opens up about having suicidal thoughts, try to understand what they must be feeling that would drive them to such a point – and how you can best respond to help them feel heard and seen.

That point, thankfully, is often fleeting. A teen with suicidal tendencies may have or continues to consider suicide, but they aren’t looking for ways to commit suicide at all times. Instead, there are short moments when they are gripped with overwhelming pressure and sadness – and it’s in those moments that they need access to consistent help and support to keep themselves from the point of no return. Protective factors and therapy can help make those moments rarer, to the point that they provide the framework for treating someone with suicidal ideation and other symptoms of depression.

Critical Risk Factors and Warning Signs

Recognizing suicidal thoughts in a teen is sometimes as simple as listening to them when they talk on subjects of death and self-harm, or as complex as watching for subtle changes in their behaviors and actions that might hint at overwhelming stress and sadness. Some important signs include:

    • Frequently discussing suicide and death
    • Talking about being useless or a burden
    • Low self-esteem and withdrawal from others
    • Disinterest in old hobbies and friends
    • Sudden shift in mood and activities
    • Increased or recent substance use
    • Signs of aggression or high irritability
    • Uncharacteristic risk-taking behavior
    • Saying goodbyes and leaving cryptic messages
    • Buying a firearm

Some of the risk factors contributing to suicidal thoughts include:

    • Increased substance use, including alcohol
    • A family history of suicides
    • Depression and depressive disorders
    • Gun ownership/easy access to firearms
    • Chronic pain, or another serious chronic illness
    • Gender (men are four times more likely to complete suicide, while women attempt suicide more often than men)
    • Trauma or abuse
    • Continued stress
    • Recent loss of a loved one

Teens can talk about suicide and be sad without being suicidal or depressed, and they’re known for shifts in mood and temper – but when your gut feeling is that some of the more recent changes in your teen are certainly taking a turn for the dark, it’s not a bad idea to bring it up. Bringing up the topic of suicide does not make someone more likely to commit suicide and may actually give them the opportunity to open up and talk to you about feelings they felt should stay hidden, potentially festering unaddressed.

By approaching the topic first, you take away the anxiety that they may have that somehow talking about suicide or suicidal ideation would lead to an unhelpful conversation about just cheering up, or being scolded for thoughts/actions of self-harm. If you’re worried, concerned, or suspicious, just talk to your teen. Talk to their friends, as well. Make sure they understand that you’re concerned and want to be there for them – and that they shouldn’t be afraid to approach you on the topic of mental health and emotion.

Is It Always Depression?

While teens with depressive disorders are more likely than the general population to commit suicide, less than half of all suicides involve people who were diagnosed with a depressive disorder, or any mental illness. While they may have gone undiagnosed, it’s also possible to struggle with thoughts of suicide and experience suicidal tendencies without a co-occurring mental health condition. Sometimes, the circumstances we find ourselves in are so overwhelming that suicide becomes a reasonable option to the mind, if only for a moment.

Suicides remain most common among middle-aged men, with rates rising more quickly in rural areas than anywhere else in the country. While lack of mental health services may be a contributing factor, economic despair and years of stress can compound and lead to suicidal thoughts as well. Opportunity is another important factor – if it’s easier to commit suicide, it’s also more likely to happen. While mental health and access to treatment are important factors in preventing suicides, they aren’t always a primary factor.

Importance of Seeking Help and Offering Support

If you think your loved one is going through a hard time or has recently been contemplating suicide, the most important thing is to make sure they know you’re there for them. You don’t have to be a qualified therapist or a mental health specialist to help support a loved one, and oftentimes just being there to listen with compassion can save lives.

Professional help is still important, especially in cases where suicidal ideation is matched with other symptoms of potential depression, or another mental health issue. But don’t underestimate your value and role as a loved one’s friend, parent, or relative. Both help and support are necessary.

Categories
Education

School Is Changing…Now What?

Understanding Student Fears

As we step into a school year of uncertainty, expect that your child is most likely experiencing one primary emotion: fear. Fear of the unknown. What will their school experience be like? Can they keep up with remote learning? Will I ever see my friends again? What will happen to their sports, clubs, extracurriculars, etc.? What about college?

The list goes on, as do the myriad of shifting variables impact student performance and vitality. While the Spring semester was largely sporadic and disorganized, students collectively assumed that by the Fall, it would be back to normal, and as we know, it is not. The looming permanency of their alternate learning model and school experience can be deeply unsettling for students, and we must validate and recognize their emotional realities.

Starting Conversations

The best defense when confronting and unpacking student stress is a good offense. In this case, that strong offense is communication. Effective parents will learn to ask questions without smothering their child with their adult interpretations, impressions, and opinions. Remember, a conversation with a student needs to be dialogue, not a parent monologue. Ask your students what emotions they are experiencing. For example:

    • What are they fearful of?
    • How would they assess and rate their level of intrinsic motivation?
    • What supports do they need (both tangible and intangible) from their parents?
    • What learning model do they prefer?
    • What environment do they feel would best allow them to succeed?

Rather than rebutting or attempting to immediately pacify or explain-away their responses, simply hold space and allow them to process and vent.

Redefining Your Relationship With Learning

If the pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that not all kids miss comprehensive school. Contrary to our assumptions, many students actually prefer the opportunity to learn at their own pace, in a smaller environment, void of the social pressures and larger environments that lend themselves to mental health struggles. Yes, as kids, we adults went to school in-person, are experiencing the more traditional experience.

The world has changed, however, and your student’s potential, vibrancy and response to learning might actually increase in an alternative setting. On the other hand, students who are missing that traditional school experience, but are lacking their normal extracurricular activities, can grow disengaged; simply stated, the Zoom life is not for them. In these instances, I strongly recommend thinking outside the box and looking for methods to capture real-life learning opportunities.

Some examples include (but not limited to):

    • Learning to invest in the stock market
    • Learning to cook
    • Reading the classics
    • Taking a college course in a curricular area that is purely based on their intrinsic passions

Keeping It Simple

During this season of uncertainty, it is best to operate in the here and now. Avoid talking about academics in the long-term. Instead, carve out structure in your home that will increase reliability, predictability, and ease tension. Think:

    • Eat
    • Sleep
    • Exercise
    • School
    • Play

Collaborate with your child to establish an expected routine where there are clearly defined times and spaces for your child to live their whole life (safely of course). Simply winging-it will result in a breakdown both in productivity and family dynamics.

Changing the Narrative

Children don’t always listen to you, but they are always watching you. Yes, this is a time of unending stress and turmoil, but no, that is not what we need to focus on with our children. I am not suggesting that you dismiss the world’s reality, but as far as education is concerned, remaining positive and optimistic will pay great dividends than constant complaints.

If kids hear a continuous narrative that remote learning is ineffective, that the teachers are horrible, that the school is negligent, etc. those opinions will seep via osmosis into the paradigm of your children. Together, we need to work with what we have, and curate opportunities to optimize the hand we have been dealt.

Categories
Suicide

Talking to Your Teen About Suicide Prevention

Suicide remains the second most common cause of death for children, teens, and young adults, and it’s clearly alarming to hear a loved one talk about killing themselves. Many of us have lived our entire lives without seriously considering the idea of suicide, but for hundreds of thousands of teenagers and young adults, it’s a thought that crosses their mind more than once.

Different risk factors, mental health issues, and experiences can influence the decision to try and take one’s life, and it’s important to acknowledge and talk about these feelings in order to address them before they lead to action. It’s especially important to address the topic of suicide given today’s mental health climate.

COVID-19 has seen a spike in virus-related deaths, but also deaths of despair as a result of isolation, economic desolation, and general anxiety. For every completed suicide among teens, there are about 25 suicide attempts. While the risks and symptoms are not always obvious, there are often opportunities to recognize a teen’s troubling thoughts and help them find a better alternative to their pains and worries.

Why Teen Suicide Occurs

Teenagers and middle-aged adults are more likely to take their own life than children or the elderly. For children with traumatic and difficult beginnings, the teen years are often the years when the effects of those traumas manifest most strongly. Puberty is often also the onset for more severe symptoms of depression or general anxiety, and thoughts of suicide.

Many teens who contemplate suicide feel that they aren’t just in pain, but that they generally have nothing to look forward to. Even if moments and memories of joy serve to undermine that feeling in most people, a condition such as depression is so overwhelming in its hijacking of the mind that these memories have no chance of arguing against suicide.

Most people who have contemplated suicide and then survived the attempt feel gratitude immediately afterward, but in those few moments preceding their attempt, the mind is incapable of wrestling with anything except negative thoughts and self-denigration. Once the moment passes, however, a teen may be able to think themselves back into a neutral or happier state of mind.

Oftentimes, successful suicide prevention is about helping a teen find their way back towards that healthier state of mind by fighting back against their inner self-deprecation, and helping them find reasons to live just long enough for the passing urge to go away.

Suicide Risk Factors

The factors behind suicide are complex and vary greatly from teen to teen. While it’s impossible to detail every potential cause and factor, some of the most significant risk factors for teen suicide are:

    • Socioeconomic factors (race, class, income)
    • Physical health (chronic conditions may accelerate feelings of despair)
    • Signs of depression and/or anxiety
    • Psychosis
    • Childhood or recent trauma
    • Recurring stress and/or victimization (bullying)
    • Regular or excessive substance use
    • Reckless or uncharacteristic behavior
    • Family history of suicide and/or depression
    • Previous suicide attempts

Some important warning signs to watch out for include:

    • Signs of self-harm or cutting
    • Frequently discussing death, being preoccupied with death and ways to die
    • Often feeling hopeless or worthless, or useless
    • Social withdrawal
    • Problems at school, inattentiveness
    • Sudden weight loss or gain

Teens who consider suicide aren’t weak or cowardly. Instead, they are often beset with factors or conditions that make it much harder to withstand the pressures and circumstances they face, leaving them with an overwhelmingly bleak outlook that purposefully ignores all the positives in their life, and amplifies the dark.

Without a first-hand experience of depression and depressive thinking, it doesn’t serve to compare yourself or your outlook with a suicidal teen when discussing something like suicide or depression. Instead, offer support and help. Support and help are critical in suicide prevention.

How to Approach the Subject of Suicide

Don’t be afraid to address the subject to begin with. You may be worried about discussing suicide with a loved one out of fear that mentioning it will somehow make matters worse. But it’s doing the opposite – ignoring it – that can lead to the idea festering and growing unchecked. Simply providing a loved one with the opportunity to openly talk about how they feel and what they want to do can make a big difference right away.

Don’t make it about yourself or dismiss their concerns. Try to focus on listening and giving them questions to answer and making sure they know you want to understand why they feel the way they do. Sentences like “I had a tough time, but I got over it” or “why would you feel this way when you’ve got it so good in life?” only serve to shut down conversation and teach your teen that they can’t talk to you about how they really feel.

Don’t lose touch. If you feel that a loved one is at risk for harming themselves, one of the best things to do is try and be at their side as much as possible. Invite them to do more things with you. Spend extra time with them after school. Plan a trip. Do something mundane together like cook or grabbing groceries. Don’t let them feel isolated or alone.

Talk in earnest but prioritize compassion. If you haven’t tackled similar thoughts and experiences in the past, chances are you may not completely understand the way your teen feels, and that is alright. You can still be honest when discussing suicide with them, but always try to remember how they feel, and keep their feelings at the forefront of the discussion. Be compassionate, and make sure they understand that as a friend, relative, or parent, you love them first and foremost, and want to help them.

Other Resources

Ideally, you should consider speaking with your teen about visiting a mental health professional specializing in adolescents. If there is a chance that your teen’s thoughts are tied to a mood disorder or some other mental health condition, then an early diagnosis and treatment plan can provide a great deal of help.

Make sure your teen understands that you aren’t trying to medicate them or shut them up, but to help them better deal with irrationally dark thoughts and negative feelings and help them find balance. Some other helpful resources include:

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