Tag: Adolescence

Categories
Adolescence Parenting Recovery

Family Dinners

“Family dinners: they’re not old-fashioned, they’re just good sense!”

I was reminded of this sentiment when I saw John Lieberman’s tweet a couple of days ago that said, “So, dinner is a good thing!” He was referring to this article, but his message reminded me that beyond the scientific studies, which dutifully illustrate the downfalls of families who don’t have regular family dinners, time together with family at mealtime is truly precious. It’s the time when the hub-bub of work/school/extracurricular activities, et cetera, can become secondary so we can plug into family connection.

When I was a kid growing up with a single mom and living a rather impoverished life, one of the most consistent things my mom did was insist we sit down together every night for dinner. While my household wasn’t short on dysfunction, the value of creating real family time at meals was paramount to my mom. It didn’t matter what the meal was, though–what mattered was the time spent together, checking in with each other. In my particular family, this regularity came to a halt during my teen years; looking back, I see how those years are a definitive time for connecting and building character; I wish there had been more “normalcy” in that regard. Still, I continue the tradition of family dinners in my own life, but my goal is to maintain the community structure beyond the formative years of early childhood and tween life so I can carry it into the confusing years of adolescence. My own experience proves to me that meal time can and should become a time of unwinding and check-ins if the environment is healthy enough.

From the scientific perspective, the positive outcome of having a regular family dinner is clearly laid out: When The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University (CASAColumbiaTM) “examined the link between the frequency of family dinners and the quality of teens’ relationships with their parents,” they discovered that “the frequency with which teens attend religious services and how much parents know about what’s going on in their children’s lives,” relates to the “likelihood of teens’ marijuana, alcohol and tobacco use.” The thing is, family dinners show potential for inclusivity. If the dynamic of a family dinner is healthy, kids will ultimately be provided a safe “container” for feeling their feelings, talking about what’s really going on, and allowing themselves to drop down into emotional safety.

While not all family dynamics are conducive to healthy family dinners, it should be noted that there is intrinsic value to forming this connectivity if circumstances allow. My son is prone to complaining and pessimism—it’s just his personality, so to help him see there is more to life than a half-empty glass and annoying school mates, we often use family dinners to go around the table and share three things that happened that day for which we are grateful. Those three statements of gratitude often spark the opportunity for conversations we wouldn’t ordinarily have, which leads to that connectivity I’m talking about.

Families in recovery are strongly urged to reignite this tradition, even if you start with one or two family dinners a week, you will see a change toward the positive. In truth,  family dinners are a wonderful addition to your toolbox for reconnection. Try it. Heck, cook together and include some team building!

Categories
Addiction Adolescence Marijuana Recovery

Response to New Study: Marijuana Use In Adolescence

English: Areas affected by THC on the brain (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The most recent study on marijuana has linked smoking marijuana in adolescence to a long-term drop in IQ. Marijuana, the innocent “natural” drug is often falsely viewed as being relatively harmless, and it’s sometimes even assumed to be a rite of passage in adolescence. Working in recovery, and being surrounded by recovery professionals, I can tell you the idea of harmlessness has been refuted time and time again. While the effects aren’t as overtly detrimental as amphetamine use or synthetic pot, there remains a definitive and negative effect on the developing brain in pot smokers, particularly when they start in adolescence—prime time for brain development.

According to the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America (PNAS),

“The purpose of the present study was to test the association between persistent cannabis use and neuropsychological decline and determine whether decline is concentrated among adolescent-onset cannabis users. Participants were members of the Dunedin Study, a prospective study of a birth cohort of 1,037 individuals followed from birth (1972/1973) to age 38 y. Cannabis use was ascertained in interviews at ages 18, 21, 26, 32, and 38 y. Neuropsychological testing was conducted at age 13 y, before initiation of cannabis use, and again at age 38 y, after a pattern of persistent cannabis use had developed.”

The results of this study confirmed that “long-term users of marijuana showed impairment in memory and attention that endure beyond the period of intoxication and worsen with increasing years of regular cannabis use.” (PDF) 

Marijuana effects one’s decision-making skills and judgment and negatively impacts memory and one’s ability to learn. THC, the drug found in marijuana, wreaks havoc on the brain particularly during its development period. According to NIDA Teen, “THC finds brain cells, or neurons with specific kinds of receptors called cannabinoid receptors and binds to them.” The highest concentration of cannabinoid receptors in the brain are found in the hippocampus, the cerebellum, the basil ganglia, and the cerebral cortex. These particular parts of the brain play a crucial part in the brain’s ability to learn. Negatively impacting this part of the brain, particularly while its developing, will make studying, learning new things, and remembering that which you’ve learned extraordinarily difficult. We honestly don’t need medical language to make this clear. Our Medical Director, Dr. Lewis, puts it plainly: “It’s simple…Marijuana makes you stupid.”

So, yes, this study illuminates the eminent dangers of marijuana use in adolescence and backs it up with very clean scientific data. What’s clear is this: marijuana use in adolescence is bad for your brain; marijuana use in general is bad for your brain. Debating whether or not those 8 IQ points are no big deal?  According to researchers, “For a person of average intelligence, an 8-point drop would mean ranking higher than only 29 percent of the population rather than 50 percent.”

Is a temporary high really worth this type of permanent mark on your intelligence?

 

The Study:

https://www.cmcr.ucsd.edu/images/pdfs/cannabis2.pdf

PNAS

Articles used for this blog:

The Guardian

Huffington Post

NIDA Teen

Discover Magazine – blog

 

Categories
Adolescence Education Recovery Self-Care

It’s Cool to Go Back to School: Sober

As summer fades, we begin to feel the pull of school and all that it entails. Walking into any store right now will confirm this, hook, line and sinker. Target has their entire back section stocked to the brim with back to school supplies. Seriously. It’s happening right now and we can’t avoid it. It’s time to wipe the sand from beneath our feet and get ready to rock our backpacks once again.

Often, the dilemma for those who got sober or stayed sober through the summer break is this:  How do we navigate going back to school without getting sucked into the rabbit hole of drugs and alcohol, or stress and anxiety, or all of the above? Is it even plausible to keep our old friends or is moving on safer? Will we still be hip or cool now that the crutch of a bottle or a pocket full of pills has been removed? For some, yes, it’s possible to go back into those spaces without falling down, for others, perhaps not. The answers to these questions are really contingent on the individual. Just as addiction and mental health don’t fit into a one-size-fits-all category, neither does recovery. There are definitely some suggestions that might help you find the way to your own answers and help you get back to school using a safe, sober strategy.

  • Make sure you are going to meetings. Now, more than ever, you will need the security and support of a recovery community.
  • Do you have a sponsor? If not, get one, stat. If you do have one, make sure you continue to work with him or her and continue to check in on a regular basis.
  • Ask your school advisor or counselor if there are any sober clubs or groups at your school. You are more than likely not alone in your recovery.
  • If there isn’t a sober group or club at school, start one!
  • Make new friends. Some of your old ones may, in fact, have to go. It’s for the best anyway. You are on a new path now.
  • Stay connected. There’s nothing worse than finding oneself in a situation where you feel emotionally alone and unsupported.
  • Ask for help–no matter what. It is not a sign of strength to suck it up; it’s a sign of strength to ask for help. (Took me forever to “get” this one!)
  • Get excited about school and about learning in general. You are feeding your brain, after all.
  • Make school your full-time job, in other words, give it 100% of your energy.
  • Keep your sobriety your priority and make school your driving force.

Don’t forget to have fun! Life is so much better when you have a sense of humor.

Categories
Adolescence Holidays Recovery

Sober Fun for Adolescents in Recovery

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What’s this? The 4th of July lands on a Wednesday? This might mean less opportunity for teen substance abuse or experimentation, or it might mean a murky Thursday morning. I’m hoping for the former. This got me thinking. At our outpatient treatment facility, one of the groups we hold for our adolescents in recovery includes “sober fun” as a way to get our teens to embrace the idea of having fun in recovery. We all know one of the scariest things about getting sober as an adolescent is the fear of being alienated socially by friends.  Most of the time, the activities that used to be exciting and fun are unsafe in sobriety—drinking and using can’t be used as a social buffer anymore. Recovery is a lifestyle change: both inside and outside of the body.

Why not make the 4th of July chock full of sober fun? It’s a great way to get pre-teens and teens out of their adolescent comfort zone and into a setting of silliness. The options are truly limitless. Sometimes sober fun happens organically, with impromptu dance parties, or  bouts of charades. Not to mention, there are always the organized activities that are far more fun sober than loaded, like bowling, mini golf, or paint ball. The idea is to get comfortable in our skin so we can let loose without chemical aid. Life is fun. It is full of wonderful surprises, why not experience them in a way you can remember later?

Over the years, I’ve had far more fun sober than I ever had using. Being in recovery empowers us to be present. We become engaged with our lives and in our friendships, which ultimately means we can enjoy our experiences tenfold. One of the best gifts of being a young adult in recovery is this: learning to live in the solution before we get stuck undoing decades of bad habits.

Have a wonderful, safe, and colorful Fourth of July. More than anything, have limitless fun and laugh like you mean it.

Categories
Adolescence Communication Prevention Safety

Teens: For Your Safety, Don’t Text and Drive

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“Don’t text and drive!” Your parents say it, your teachers say it, the billboards say it, and even some of your friends say it. But you still do it. I’d ask why, but there’s really no logical explanation for it. I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t occasionally participate in texting and driving, even though I know it’s dangerous. It’s not a good idea—for any of us. Nothing is so important it can’t wait until you can pull over or until you reach your destination. The fines alone for texting and driving should be enough of a deterrent, right?!

U.S. government research shows “more teen drivers are buckling up and not driving drunk than in years past,” but texting and driving is “posing a new threat.” In fact, according to a research team from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control (CDC), “One in three high school students said they had texted or emailed while driving during the past month.” While the decline in drunk driving incidents and the increase in buckle-ups is wonderful news, the texting issue is a deadly problem.

Texting is the primary means of communication for teens: Teens typically send upwards of 100 texts a day. I’ve seen teenagers text each other in the same room! It’s clear that there’s a whole world of communication happening via technology, some good, and in the case of texting and driving, some deadly.  According to Amanda Lenhart, a senior researcher at the Pew Research Center in Washington, “A lot of teens say ‘Well, if the car’s not moving and I’m at a stoplight or I’m stuck in traffic, that’s OK.'” Lenhart goes on to say, “Other teens acknowledge they know it’s not safe, but think it is safer if they hold the phone up so they can see the road and text at the same time.” Neither one of these practices is safe.

It’s hopeful that this current generation of teens is exhibiting safer driving behaviors. There are less incidents of drunk driving (from 17% in 1997 to 8% in 2011) and a 44% drop in car crashes amongst teens. This says a lot about kids making healthier choices. I’m hoping to see a positive shift in the choice to text and drive. This is a fad that really needs a short shelf-life.

 

Categories
Adolescence Holidays Parenting

Long Summer Days

Summer field in Belgium (Hamois). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Summertime seems to be that time of year when the common perception amongst many kids is: ultimate freedom. This perception sticks for some time, too, at least until adulthood or a regular job sets in. Think about it: There isn’t a school schedule to adhere to, there’s no homework to do, and no deadlines to meet. In many ways, summer can be the impetus for social free-for-alls: late nights, experimentation with alcohol and/or drugs. What can we do to preemptively halt the madness in its tracks?

We can start with providing some semblance of order in our kids’ lives. While school may provide the safety of confined activities and schedules that allow us to feel secure in knowing where our kids are, breaks from school can present a challenge for many of us. There’s no better time than the present to ensure that there is structure within the “freedom” of summer. Yes, that sounds like a bit of a contradiction, but we all must learn to create structure and boundaries amidst the chaos of life.

For college-bound kids, summer may have a different feel to it. It may be the last time they’ll see some of their friends for a while, especially if they’re off to different colleges. And in some ways, it may be a farewell to the freedom of childhood. College implies adulthood, and that last summer can be a humdinger.

We can start with some of these ideas:

  • Have regular family dinners. Sitting down together several days a week is a wonderful way to get grounded in family.
  • Check in with your kids. Do you know whom they’re spending time with? What they’re doing? Where they’re doing it? You should!
  • Get to know your child’s friends … and their parents.
  • Get involved. You can stay involved in your kids’ lives without being the quintessential helicopter parent.
  • Support their recovery. For example, if they’re going to college, help them find meetings in the area or support groups they can attend. Maintaining those ties are important.
  • Learn not to take things personally. While being involved is a good thing, we have to also learn when it’s okay to let go.  Remember, adolescence is prime time for individuation and sometimes that means giving the parents the cold shoulder.

Ultimately, summer reminds me of time slowing down. It’s a respite from the chilly, short days of winter. Living so close to the beach, it’s prime time for witnessing sunsets and frolicking in the sea. Even if we’re working or just busy, we are truly blessed with these longer days and warmer light. Spending time with our loved ones is one more blessing we can’t pass by.

Categories
Addiction ADHD Adolescence Mental Health

ADHD Meds: Not Relief for Teen Stress!

Brain stress structures (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The pressure on our kids starts early. I’m talking pre-school early. For many parents, their child’s pre-school becomes a status symbol. The kids, on the other hand, could care less. They just want blocks and naptime, really. What they don’t need is pressure. But as our little ones advance in age, they are introduced to the latest standards and school becomes less of a place to become intellectually enriched, and more of a place to try and attain the highest test score. Sure, great test scores are a wonderful achievement, but they are not everything. Unfortunately, the pressure to do well and to be the best puts a great deal of pressure on our kids, and honestly, most pre-teens and teens couldn’t tell you in earnest what they want to be when they grow up, let alone what college they plan on attending. For most kids, adolescence is similar to the hormonal version of Survivor: full of surprises and unexpected whirlwinds of emotional adventure (with some added fear-based scenarios tossed in for good measure.).

By the time they reach middle- and high-school age, pressure from parents and school administrators can really gnaw at the edge of adolescence. The pressure increases and kids start to fall apart in various ways: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, drug use, and other forms of teen stress.  An example of this are the kids who push themselves so hard, they use stimulants like Adderal or Ritalin (typically prescribed for ADHD) just to make it through their end-of-the-year finals. This is troubling. Those who truly suffer from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder benefit from these drugs and need them in order to balance out their brain chemistry. But when someone without this disorder takes these drugs, they experience a classic amphetamine high. Their brains don’t need chemical balancing. Adolescence is prime time for brain development; the last thing it needs is to play the part of a petri dish just to do well on a test.

I wish we could eliminate this pressure and the inevitable teen stress, but realistically, we can’t. What we can do as parents, teachers, therapists, and mentors is encourage a sense of propriety in our kids. We can teach them early on to ways in which to manage their stress, and perhaps even avoid some of it altogether. When my son was a toddler, having tantrums and doing toddler things, I started teaching him breathing techniques to help him self-soothe. I often think going back to those basic self-soothing skills we learn when we’re young is beneficial for managing life as we get older. If you didn’t learn to self-soothe as a tot, you can pick up the pieces now. Learning to be gentle with ourselves when we’re under stress is an invaluable tool. Teens, in particular, need to find ways to manage stress without sinking into the negative patterns so common in adolescence. So, what can they do?

  • Breathe. Stop and take 10 deep breaths.
  • Take a break. 10 minutes of solace won’t destroy your chances for a good grade. If anything, it will allow your brain to recharge.
  • Eat something. Fruits, veggies and high-protein snacks keep your brain fueled. No fuel=foggy thinking.
  • Ask for help. You don’t have to do this alone.
  • Read something light and entertaining. In other words, take a break from the intensity of academics.

I think you get the idea. If we stop and take care of ourselves, we are less likely to take the risks of using someone else’s prescription to pass a test or to study. Sacrificing mental health and safety for good grades is self-sabotaging behavior. It’s not worth it.

Related articles
Categories
Education Recovery Service Treatment

Visions Outpatient and Day School Gets a Facelift!

Stepping into our 10th year of business, we took a quick breath to enjoy the adventures life had brought to us as a company.  Our second breath was in true Visions form: an analysis of how we can continue to evolve in the next 10 years. It started small by first addressing our Mission Statement, making sure we continue striving to be the Visions we can be.  Next, we reflected on each of our programs, examining areas in which we could improve.  Do we as a team believe in ourselves?  Do our families and teens believe in us?  A value that the Shumows always wanted was to invest in a supportive and caring staff culture.  In return, they knew that would create a platform to provide the utmost in exemplary care for their clients. It has been quite a process, combing through every level of the Visions experience, and fine-tuning the environments and their processes, but it’s been well worth the effort. It’s wonderful to recognize how this fresh breath has propelled us into our next decade.

One of our largest projects this past year was to bring our 8-year old Brentwood Outpatient Facility up to date with our ever so quickly evolving teen needs.  This called for a sophisticated facelift and an adjustment to our technology.  Our vision for Visions Outpatient & Day School was to create an educational environment that was something our teens looked forward to being a part of on a daily basis.  The Goal: a cyber café with a touch of warmth and wit.  What we have now are clean, streamlined, modern classrooms, filled with natural light and charming colors, and new Mac computers to create an environment that is conducive to learning and healing.

Check out the new digs: [slideshow id=3]

The new technology allows for teacher and students to be on the same page, something typically variable due to individualized educational goals. While every client may not be working on the same subject at the same time, with this updated technology, our teachers can access any subject or lesson plan at lightning speed. There are some truly terrific, new amenities to behold in our classrooms: There is a beautiful, community table, which encourages a European approach to lunchtime, creating a connective environment for our clients and staff alike. The walls are lined with an innovative framework of natural wood, designed to hang art with non-traditional clamps–this is something I want to recreate myself, it’s so cool! Ultimately, our new classroom design allows for effective and immediate communication between our teachers and students. It has also created a virtually paperless classroom, which meets the needs of the modern Internet driven educational system we thrive in.

In addition to the classrooms, we’ve also revamped our therapists’ offices. They were given a mini-facelift of their own, and they genuinely look and feel like a place where healing can and will continue to occur. Our updated environment is both therapeutic and welcoming, allowing our extraordinary team to work with our clients via an easier system of support and inter-office efficiency.

With gratitude, we must give a well-deserved shout-out to the wonderful designer Curtis Micklish, who handcrafted the majority of our new furniture and designed a unique space for our teens to thrive! Curtis has already been recognized by the modern design industry for the work he has put together for Visions. You can also check out Curtis’ blog and/or purchase his wares on his Etsy page!

We have stepped into our 10th year in style and we couldn’t be more excited! Here’s to another 10 years and beyond.

Thank you to Christina Howard for her eloquent input to this blog. 

Categories
Addiction Adolescence Prevention

Latest Study: Teens and RX Drugs–Provokes Call for Early Prevention

According to a recent study by Michigan State Researchers, the “Peak risk for misusing prescription pain relievers occurs in mid-adolescence, specifically about 16 years old and earlier than many experts thought.” (Science Daily)

It’s always been assumed that drug and alcohol use starts in the latter years of adolescence, and while that may be the average, by the time some of these kids hit high school, preventative measures may be too late. This study is suggesting that preventative programs be introduced much earlier than in current practice. I echo this sentiment and am a huge proponent of early preventative measures. How early? As soon as the questions start coming up. You can make a difference at home too:

  • Tell your child in a general way what drugs are and how they can negatively impact their life.
  • Teach the value and power  of saying “No” and walking away from people or situations where drugs are involved.
  • Store your medications responsibly: Behind lock and key if necessary.
  • Model good behavior: if you are stressed, take a deep breath instead of a drink or a pill. Your kids learn from you first.
  • Transparency: If you are in recovery, and your kids ask you a question about your history, answer them within reason.
  • Know who your kids’ friends are and who their parents are.
  • Stay in tune with current events and trends.
  • Be social media savvy so you can understand the temperature of this generation.
  • If you discover drugs or alcohol on your child, use it as a doorway to create dialogue.  If you find that the drug use is more of a pattern, please get some help.

There are definitely organizations that teach preparedness and prevention, but the first teachers our kids ever have is us. Showing our kids we’re there for them may be the best preventative measure of all.

You can also check out:

NIDA for Teens

SAMHSA

Prevention Plus

Categories
Adolescence Bullying Communication Education Mental Health Parenting Social Anxiety Stress

Time to Stop the Bullies

It hurts to be bullied. It hurts the spirit and the body, the confidence and self-worth. No one should have to live in that kind of fear or circumstance. So what are we going to do about it?

With the advent of the internet, bullying’s primary setting isn’t merely in schools and playgrounds anymore: it also thrives in the technological halls of the cyber world. It’s pervasive. There are two types of bullies:  popular, well-connected with social power, overly concerned about maintaining that popularity, and liking to be in charge. The second type tends to be the kid who is more isolated from their peers, easily pressured, has low self-esteem, is less involved in school and doesn’t easily identify with the emotions or feelings of others.

Those at risk of being bullied are kids who are perceived as separate or different from the norms or social mores of our culture. They are often seen as weak, they tend to be anxious or depressed, they are less popular, and are often viewed as annoying or provocative. As a result, these kids are more susceptible to falling prey to bullying behaviors, behaviors which aren’t always as black and white as we once thought. Here are some examples:

Physical bullying:

  • Hitting/kicking/ pinching
  • Spitting
  • Pushing/Tripping
  • Intentionally breaking someone’s things;
  • Making mean or rude hand gestures.

Verbal bullying:

  • Name calling: weirdo, freak, fag, idiot, ad infinitum.
  • Teasing
  • Threats to cause harm

Social bullying:

  • Leaving someone out on purpose;
  • Telling others not to be friends with someone;
  • Rumor spreading;
  • Public humiliation.

Cyber bullying:

  • Mean text messages or emails;
  • Rumors sent by email or posted on social media sites;
  • Fake profiles on sites like Facebook, Tumblr, et cetera.
  • Embarrassing photos or videos

Keep in mind, the most reported bullying happens on school grounds: in the hallways and on recess yards. It also occurs travelling to and from school. But nothing is really sacred. Cyber bullying is growing like wildfire as kids become increasingly savvy with technology.

It’s common for kids who are being bullied not to tell anyone because they may be afraid of the vengeful repercussions from the bullies themselves. Bullying is, in its very nature, a power structure built on dominance and fear-driven control. When someone is being terrorized by fearful tactics, it takes an incredible amount of courage to seek help. In the mind of the bullied, it’s a risk they are not always willing to take, so instead, the fear gets internalized, making its appearance in various ways:

  • Unexplained injuries;
  • Lost or damaged possessions;
  • Frequent headaches, stomachaches, feeling sick or faked illnesses;
  • Changes in eating habits: some may skip meals, some may binge. Some kids might come home hungry because their lunch was bullied away from them;
  • Sleep disturbances: insomnia or nightmares;
  • Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, not wanting to go to school at all;
  • Loss of friends or avoidance of social situations;
  • Feelings of helplessness or decreased self-esteem;
  • Self-destructive behaviors: self-harming, running away, isolating, suicidal ideation.

Despite the fact that many schools have implemented anti-bullying policies, the administration doesn’t always carry them out in the most effective ways. I’ve experienced a principal in my son’s school who typically punishes the victim along with the bully, creating situation of victim-blaming, which encourages the bully and fundamentally creates shame in the bullied. In this particular case, a child ended up reverting inward and internalizing the fear, ultimately trying to handle it on his own. As a result, the persistent concern about being called a snitch or weak drove this child’s efforts toward self-directed management of the situation. Unfortunately, this is a perfect situation for the bully, and in many ways, this maintains the bully’s position of control. Not surprisingly, the bullying hasn’t stopped.

As parents, we need to find safe, productive ways to stop bullying behaviors. We can:

  • Work with the teacher to help raise awareness in the classroom. There are activities geared toward educating  kids
  • Make regular appearances at the school. Sometimes, the mere presence of a parent can stop bullying in its tracks.
  • Get up to speed on those social networking sites and explore safer ways to navigate technology
  • Find ways to present a unified front against bullying.
  • Establish an anti-bullying task force or committee. There’s power in numbers.
  • Help establish an environment of tolerance, acceptance of others, and respect.

This is also a great opportunity to take your kids to see Bully or go see it yourself if you can. It’s a limited engagement, but one you don’t want to miss. Time to take charge and stop bullying in its tracks.

For more information and for resources, check out:

Stopbullying.gov

SoulShoppe

Challenge Day

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