The Visions Alumni weekend is fast approaching and we are really looking forward to three days of sober fun! Each year, alumni get a chance to reconnect with their fellow alumni, challenge the staff to a softball game, and engage in team building activities that are chock full of laughter and joy. For us, it’s a pleasure to see the evolution of our alumni as they gotten more rooted in their recovery.
This Alumni Weekend is going to be stellar. Day one: We start the weekend off with an amazing dinner and bowling. Day two: There is an opportunity for service work during the day and a 12-step meeting in the evening. Day three: Softball and the pièce de résistance: we have the Grilled Cheese Truck firing up their griddle and making us sammys! I anticipate great fun.
Many alumni have called asking which staff members will be there because so many folks are looking forward to reconnecting. This is one of the many areas where we shine! We are the Visions family, and with that comes the inclusion of alumni past and present who rely upon us to be the bedrock in their recovery experience.
Without further adieu, here’s some baseball inspiration. We aim to for silliness and fun and we know you do too!
John Lieberman believes that people should do what they love, and love what they do. He wants to see people thrive in their lives and in their jobs, and he goes to great lengths to facilitate that process. Receiving his Masters Degree in Industrial and Organizational Psychology (MA I/O Psych), John continues to effectively look at the organizational framework of Visions to gain a better understanding of how to make Visions run smoothly while maintaining the rich culture that’s embedded within. In a nutshell, John Lieberman is our social scientist. From the social science perspective, John can critically view the way workplace infrastructures work, both from a functional and interpersonal way so he can help them function more effectively.
When I asked John why he sought a degree in Industrial and Organizational Psychology, he said, “I believe that the strength and commitment of Visions relies on the culture we have. Chris and Amanda Shumow created a culture of family. We bring people in that we want to work with, and we understand that it’s not possible to leave your personal life at home. We encourage and support our team when they need help.” Within John’s statement lie the fundamental beliefs and practices that are integral to the Visions culture: We are a family.
When Visions began, everyone needed to know how to do a bit of everything, or at least be willing to try. For example, if the toilet was clogged, no one was above getting a plunger to handle business. In this sense, we were a team of “generalists.” Over the years, however, we have evolved and expanded to include a team of “specialists.” I’ll give you an example of a specialist: me. As the New Media Manager, what I do is streamlined, despite the fact that I cover a very broad ground. I am required to know and understand what everyone does and how they do it, but I utilize and disseminate this information in a specialized way via social media resources. From the perspective of John’s degree and specialization, that makes my position and me easier to manage. Having more specialists allows us to celebrate the attributes of the varied members of the Visions team while supporting an efficient management system.
John Lieberman helps the Visions team find the magic and connection in what we do so we can become something our clients look to for inspiration. If we are following our hearts and doing what we love, then we are creating an environment in which others are encouraged to do the same. John’s master’s degree in Industrial and Organizational Psychology affords him an opportunity to provide this wonderful service to others at Visions and beyond: He urges people to do what they love so they can love what they do. John is working his own magic. His passion and love for what he does is contagious.
Three suggestions from John to help you follow your dreams:
1:Figure out how to do more of what you love to do.
2: What are your long-term goals? How does this position help me with my long-term goals?
3: What am I going to bring to this?
If we enter a job and view it as “just a job,” then we are missing out. If we can be as engaged in our jobs as we are in our lives, then we can affect change in the lives that we touch. John says, “When we change a person, we change the world.”
I’ll leave you with this quote form Tony Hsieh, Zappos CEO, whose ideology we admire at Visions.
“I view my role more as trying to set up an environment where the personalities, creativity and individuality of all the different employees come out and can shine.”
Tony Hsieh
I go through the news endlessly, looking for things of interest for the Visions community, looking for things that act as a springboard for the Visions’ blogs, or simply reading to stay on top of the myriad things going on in the environment in which we live and breathe. I sniff out science and psychology articles the way some people seek pop culture references. Keeping you informed and in the loop is my priority. At Visions, we see and experience all walks of life and treat a varied population of teens struggling with everything from mental health issues, substance abuse, and psychological trauma, and for that reason, it’s imperative we address a multitude of subjects.
We are currently knee deep in the heat of summertime, and for some, that might signify a sense of freedom. For some, it’s a time of leisure, and dealing with “issues” feels like it’s putting a crimp in their style. For others, it’s just a shift in barometric pressure and a change in their work attire. Because we maintain a structured schedule year round, Visions maintains a level of consistency that adds a real sense of grounding for teens while they are learning to navigate the newness of recovery. This provides consistency and structure for our treatment population, which is highly beneficial to their recovery process whether they are at one of our inpatient facilities, outpatient, our Day School, or NeXT. The goal is to create a safe, therapeutic container for our adolescents and their families.
Visions has an incredible knack for providing different psychological layers of support for teens to pass through in order for them to get back onto their feet. What I mean by this is, we don’t just toss them back into the unchartered world with old friends and into old stomping grounds without proper coping skills and tools to manage new feelings and challenges. In fact, we encourage the development of new friends, with healthier habits more in line with a lifestyle in recovery. We provide teens with different levels to walk through and gain success and confidence before moving onto something new. If that means backing up a step or two, then we encourage that and provide sufficient support until the client is established and grounded enough in their recovery to move forward.
I marvel at the resiliency in so many of our families. Substance and mental health aren’t easy seas to navigate, but they are not impossible and the Visions team is one that is full of many skilled sailors. Many of us are walking the path of recovery ourselves. It’s imperative that we do stay on top of what’s going on both inside of our facilities and out in the world. If we have our blinders on in any of these places, we become limited in our ability to do what we do best, and that is help those who cross our path. We cannot leave any stone unturned because we never know who might need our help.
Sarit Rogers is Visions’ very own Woman of Words – Our Billowing Blogger, Lady of Language and Sorceress of Social Media. She officially joined the V-Team in 2010 and found her stride as our new Media Manager. We had an idea of what we wanted her to structure, but could not dream of the ways she would use her innovation to build upon the face of Visions in today’s digital world.
With her permission, I’d like to give her a big shout out on 20 years of sobriety today!!! Every Blog, Tweet and Post is driven from an innate desire to help others find a life of health and happiness. Sarit’s raw, candid and unbiased way of writing continues to inspire our team and many more readers across the world.
She is a passionate mother to one very cool kid, is wife to Visions’ Mr. Rogers and is the loving owner of her pup, LuLu. Sarit is a creative activist at heart. Inspiring others with her writings, photography and yoga practice, she is constantly looking to help others find the authentic beauty of the inner self.
Collaborating on our Staff Blogs has been one of my favorite jobs to create with Sarit. We have had a ton of fun letting our readers know who the masterminds are that make Visions what it is. Sarit has allowed us to see how much we are valued amongst our peers…now it is time for her to feel the same:
“Like her on Facebook, retweet her, snapchat about it, #JustSarit is anything but ‘just’ our New Media Manager. She has a great artistic eye and has been instrumental in transforming our web content. This recognition is long overdue!” –Patrick Schettler
“What comes across so clearly to me in Sarit’s writing is that she genuinely cares. She is passionate in her desire to help others, the embodiment of compassion in action. Visions is blessed to have such a talented writer who can produce well-researched, thoughtful, and timely articles. But what really comes across in her writing is a lifetime of personal transformation that has brought her to a place of deep understanding and hope.” – Joseph Rogers
“Besides Sarit being the realest & funniest person at Visions, she’s the most sincere & caring. Whenever I have the chance to be around her, I make sure I get my daily dose of Sarit.” – Janette Duran
“Sarit is one of the smartest, kindest ladies I know! Not only has she helped me post photos from 6,000 miles away on facebook when I was Paris and I couldn’t figure it out, but she was able to get me back on icloud after my kids signed on incorrectly so many times that we were locked out, for life it seemed. Apple tech support couldn’t understand why we were not able to get back with their help at the Genius Bar!…but Sarit fixed it via a few texts. She is just awesome.” – Colleen Kelly, PhD
“Sarit is amazing, special, talented, loving, strong, fearless, kind and so much more! She possesses a positive and loving spirit/energy. It’s felt the moment you meet her! All that cross her path are blessed and feel inspired by her greatness!” – Jennifer Werber
“Sarit is our beautiful wordsmith who makes someone like me, who is known for potty language and poor punctuation, sound like a poet! Sarit is awesome, always thinking of ways to put our Vision out to words, pictures, facebook posts and blogs. She is willing to show up to events to “live tweet” and is always active when there are shows on that discuss issues we deal with in treatment. She brings Visions’ ideas out into the world of social media. Sarit is not only our social media manager, but also an amazing photographer and….wait for it….married to JRO another one of the Visions family members! She is a wonderful mother and we are always grateful for Sarit’s take on our business planning meetings! Thanks for all you do!” – Amanda Shumow
Let’s Break into this creative mind with our pondering 10 questions:
1.Favorite Song of all time and why?
“Sympathy For the Devil,” Rolling Stones. Musically, it’s multi-layered and interesting. Lyrically, it remains one of those songs that is simply timeless. It’s feisty, political, and it illuminates the fact that we all have a dark side within each of us. I’ve loved it every since I was a tot.
2. Frog pose or tree pose?
Definitely tree pose. It’s nice to be able to find balance and strength physically and mentally.
3. What would you like to find at the end of a rainbow?
Aside from the elusive pot of gold? A nice cup of tea and warm, stripey socks.
4. Best thing about being a MOM?
Watching my son experience the world. It’s incredible to see how he loves others without judgment, shows compassion with ease, thinks outside of the box, and is comfortable being who is is. Now if I could just get him to come back to his senses and stop listening to Nicki Minaj…
5. Who’s a stronger woman…Wonder Woman, Shera or Oprah?
Wonder Woman, hands down. She’s a warrior fighting for justice, equality, love, peace–with sass! Oh, and I’ve always liked DC comics.
6. Cookies or Cake?
Sigh. These days, I’d have to say cookies. Gluten Free cake usually tastes like a sweet rock.
7. Best thing about being married to Mr.Rogers?
One thing? Really? Okay: He’s FunnyIntelligentKindGentleImaginativeMybestfriend
8. What paints a better picture…Writing or Photography?
Hm. A good writer can paint a picture tantamount to a good photograph if they have a thesaurus and one hell of an imagination. They are both equal to me but for different reasons. My pen and my camera are extensions of myself.
As my favorite photographer, Ruth Bernhard once said, “Light is my inspiration, my paint and brush.”
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Compassionate.
10. Why do you work for Visions?
Many, many reasons. We offer something that was barely in existence when I was getting sober. To work for a company that has made helping teens and their families through one of their darkest times is a blessing for which I am truly grateful. Every word I write, every tweet, and every FB post is an act of being of service and extending the familial arm of the Visions’ family. And I get to do it in my yoga pants.
Jennifer Werber is our wonderful Business Manager who joined us after Stan retired. Those were a pretty large pair of shoes to step into, but it was evident Jennifer, who we love to call Jenny, was going to do it in her own style. What I really admire about her is the fact that she didn’t really step into old shoes; she came in wearing her own and did so without upsetting the equilibrium of the staff. It takes great skill and compassion to do such a thing. The first time I met Jenny, it felt like I’d known her my whole life. Everything she does, whether it’s answering a question about insurance or a question about payroll, or simply looking into something for someone, she does it with a sense of calm, understanding, professionalism, and kindness. She’s an amazing woman and one whom I’m glad to know and work with. We have an extraordinary team at Visions, and Jenny is a perfect addition and wonderful part of the Visions family. Think I’m kidding? Read on. The staff completely agrees with me. Oh, and Jenny, I want those caramel, Oreo thingamabobs!
“Incredibly intelligent and personable! She adds a fun dimension to the Visions team. Jenny also makes the most incredible desserts such as caramel, Oreo fudge brownies!!!!!”– Mie Keneda
“This is one of those moments where I don’t even know where to begin. Jenny has a kind heart, and a wise soul. This woman is extraordinary in every single way. She brightens up the office with her smile and great sense of humor. It’s rare to find someone so giving and selfless in this world. She is a rare gem and honestly whatever else I say about her, words don’t her justice.” – Janette Duran
“Where do I even start?! Jenny is one of the most amazing people I have ever met. She’s such a great addition to the Visions’ family. Her drive and dedication is almost scary sometimes- I’m convinced she’s a superwoman. Jenny keeps us sane. I’m so happy to be able to call her a coworker and most of all a friend. Love you, Jenny!” — Ashley Harris
“Jenny stepped into some big shoes. We are fortunate to have her. She is kind, considerate, and has a maternal quality. She always brings in delicious food and genuinely cares about the employees at Visions. I’m not sure how we made it this far without her. The shoes fit.” – Daniel Dewey
“Jenny! We are so happy to have Jenny’s experience and patience (not to mention her amazing desert-making skills) on the team. We had considered ourselves a small-time operation for so many years that we had no idea the amount of work Jenny was walking into. She has spent 6 days a week trying to straighten us out; we truly appreciate her for that and so many other reasons. She is so funny and tries not to laugh when we are really pushing the limits on “proper” office etiquette. We (ok maybe not Chris) are sure that when Jenny has a year with us, she will finally jump on the Friday afternoon dance parties held at Mulholland :). Thank you for all you do, Jenny. We look forward to the next stage of Visions with you as one of the anchors!” — Amanda Shumow
And the quintessential piece to these blogs: those pesky 10 questions! Keep reading!
1: Are you a coffee or tea kind of gal?
Neither. I don’t like coffee or tea. I drink mostly water and diet soda.
2: What’s the one thing guaranteed to make you laugh with utter abandon?
My nephews off the wall antics or comments … OR Amanda and Ashley Harris’ acts of random silliness!
3: How would you describe your perfect day?
Start it off with relaxation, tranquility, somewhere tropical … continue and end it with loved ones, lots of fun, lots of laughs, good music, good food…
4: What did you want to be when you grew up? Did you come close?
Initially, I wanted to be and Astronaut. Definitely did not come close to that! By the age of 9-10, I wanted to be a Sr. VP in Marketing for the NBA. I guess I did get somewhat closer to this, as I spent 6 years working within the NBA for the Los Angeles Clippers! However, it was not in Marketing. I never throught I would end up in Finance and Human Resources.
5: Are you more right or left brained?
That is tough! Honestly, I think I have characteristics of both. But I think I definitely have more left brain traits and characteristics.
6: Clippers or Lakers?
Another tough one … I grew up a Laker fan, but working with the Clippers for six years definitely created a Clipper fan.
7: What inspires you?
Love, kindness, creativity, art, culture, people …
8: What three things do you look for on others? What three things do you strive for in yourself?
In others: respect, honesty, loyalty I strive for: Probably the same, but more than anything I strive to be better every day and learn from my successes and failures.
9: What flower describes your personality?
Maybe a Sunflower? But, I also love lilies (Casablanca and Calla). The sunflower reflects warmth and openness to me, but the Lily represents sophistication, strength and perhaps some mystery to me …
10: Why do you choose to work for Visions?
The opportunity for professional growth within an organization that believed in me, and supported me, was definitely one of my top reasons for joining the Visions Team. However, to be a part of an organization that believes in what they do with all of their heart and soul, touches so many people’s lives, believes in their team, are proud of their team’s accomplishments, and supports / recognizes the people who make it happen every day is what sold me!
Mie Kaneda is one of our magnificent CD counselors and licensed CADCs who also happens to be a California native. Mie is a remarkable ball of energy and service: she has a background in gymnastics as well as personal training. She currently spends her time at our residential facility but can also be found at our outpatient facility working with clients or training folks at Burn 60. Mie is facilitates groups in addition to meeting with individual clients and also helped start the Teen Love group aimed to support teens struggling with love addiction. Mie loves to use movement with the clients to get them back into their bodies and show them how much fun they can have in recovery. In her youthful, spunky way, Mie imbibes her recovery and the recovery of others with joyful fire.
As always, the Visions family has wonderful things to say about Mie, so please read on:
“Mie is the most upbeat spirited counselor I know. She is always willing to help out in all areas! She’s taught me so much as a counseling intern. Thank you!” – Chloe Huerta
“Mie has a great energy about her! It’s that same positive energy that glows in her work when it comes to our kids in treatment.” – Janette Duran
“Mie is a fireball of energy and enthusiasm.” – Heather Colligan
“It is great to have Mie on the Visions team. Mie’s energy is contagious and she is always ready to pitch in wherever needed. Mie believes that recovery is more than just not using or not doing negative actions. Mie believes that recovery is about positive action. Mie shows the kids how movement and exercise tie into recovery.” – John Lieberman
“Mie is one person with the energy of 10! She is always looking at the bright side and trying to do everything she can to help reach the kids who need extra attention. Mie has added so much to our team. She is an amazing physical trainer, and helped start our Teen Love group that was so needed by our clients who tend to focus on the members of the opposite sex as opposed to their personal recovery plan. Mie is someone who will show up, no matter what, with a smile on her face, ready to help. We are so grateful for her dedication to not only the clients, but to Visions as well.” – Chris and Amanda Shumow
You know Mie had to answer 10 questions, so here are her answers!
1: Where is your favorite place to run?
Anywhere and everywhere
2: If you were to select a food that best describes your character, what food would it be?
Sushi (duh!) because it is small, colorful, tasteful and HOT when you add wasabi!
3: Do you play any instruments?
Piano
4: What’s your favorite song to sing along to?
Drops of Jupiter by Train and anything Adele
5: Yoga or Pilates?
Both.
6: Are you the queen of the kitchen or master of take-out?
Princess of kitchen and queen of take out.
7: What is your Starbuck’s order?
Double short soy latte ( for real!)
8: Favorite way to motivate adolescents.
Help them love and believe in themselves, focus on their strengths and talents and teach them to have sober fun!!!
9: How do you start your day?
Pg. 86 in BB, women’s meditation, coffee and a smile!
10: Why do you choose to work for Visions?
Because my employers are the bomb, therefore everyone that works for and with them shine brightly. I had a challenging time as a teenager and young adult. If I can help them through their rough patches OR help then to not go through what I did, help them have a healthier life filled with joy and promise, I have fulfilled my dreams and possibly my destiny.
Lianne Domingo is our stupendous Logistics Coordinator, making sure all of our facilities have their I’s dotted and their T’s crossed, and also well-stocked with everything we need. One of the things I adore about Lianne is her infectious personality and sense of humor. She can make the mundane fun and she brings light and laughter into everything she does, even if it’s simply loading the printer with paper. Throughout the years, Lianne has worn many hats at Visions, and as a result, she understands the deep inner workings of what makes us tick. She is the ultimate problem solver and eternal enthusiast. Lianne would be an ideal teammate in a zombie apololypse. I can’t say enough about her, and neither can the staff. Check it out:
“Lianne started out as my tech and ended up being an amazing coworker. I love that Lianne is approachable and so willing to help. She’s truly a team player and I’m happy I’ve gotten the chance to know her.” – Chloe Huerta
“She is like the encyclopedia of Visions and if you need something handled, she is the person to take charge and get it done! As well as being warm and compassionate with the teens, she has an infectious laugh that sets all at ease and brings up the energy!” – Heather Colligan, MA, MFT
“Lianne is always willing to go the extra mile. Lianne can walk into any situation and provide support and help for the staff and the families at Visions. Lianne continually takes care of many of the behind-the-scenes tasks that can go unnoticed. Lianne is always encouraging and a partner in helping Visions provide great care to the kids and families we serve. Lianne’s positive and disarming personality always makes my day a little happier.” – John Lieberman
“Lianne is our new Logistics Coordinator because she is the boss of all of us!! Lianne is able to step into any position at Visions and look at the situation with a critical eye for what is best for the client or company. Lianne has risen through the ranks of Visions because of her kind ways, sense of humor, and work ethic. (We overlook the Disneyland addiction!) We look forward to Lianne getting married and love that her fiancée is also a part of the Visions family. Lianne is just the right balance between fun and business and is just the kind of person we want for the future of Visions. Thank you for all you do…(and thanks for getting me addicted to Snapchat. I’m pretty sure that you are not supposed to have this much fun at work!)” – Chris and Amanda Shumow
Continue to read on for Lianne’s amazing answers to our 10 questions:
1: If you could have invented anything from history, what would you pick?
Post-its… What a great concept. Semi adhesive sheets of paper that you can write on and put anywhere. Genius!
2: Cats or dogs?
Definitely dogs. I’m allergic to cats and it’s pretty bad.
3: Do you sing in the shower?
Yes I do. I totally recommend it.
4: What is your favorite ride at Disneyland?
The Haunted Mansion would have to be my favorite ride. My favorite part of the ride is the room with the dancing ghosts. There’s also a Hidden Mickey in this room. I haven’t had too much experience with the supernatural. If I ever do, I hope it’s just as fun!
5: Which Avenger would you be?
I think I would want to be the Hulk. Not even sure why. He’s just really cool. Maybe it’s the calming green color.
6: What is your inspiration?
My brother Aron is a big inspiration. He is a physical therapy student at CSUN right now and totally rocks at the school thing. He’s one of the most dedicated people I know.
7: If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do?
Flying trapeze. There’s something freeing about flying through the air and having total trust that the other person will catch you.
8: Roller skates or roller blades?
Roller skates. Although, I would probably be a complete mess if I tried to roller skate now.
9: Are you following your dreams?
Growing up, I always knew I would be helping people. So, yes. I believe I am following my dreams. Ten years ago, I would never have thought I would be helping people in this capacity. One thing I have learned is that God will give you what you ask for. It just may not be how you planned it.
10: Why do you choose to work for Visions?
When I started at Visions, I had no idea what I was getting into. I fell into the job with no experience in recovery or treatment. I choose to work at Visions because my ideals about people are challenged all the time and I am challenged to be open to the different people I deal with everyday. Seeing that “click” when a kid is finally willing and surrenders to the process is amazing. I get to be a small part of that process along with the wonderful people I work with.
Come paintballing with Visions as we raise money for the teens of Haiti vis a vis the Global Adolescent Project (G.A.P)! “Global Adolescent Project, G.A.P, was born out of necessity, to fill a void — a gap — in youth services. Global Adolescent Project was launched in July, 2010, in one of the largest IDP (internally displaced persons) camps in post-earthquake Port au Prince, Haiti.”
We are thrilled to host this event of this caliber and are doing it in the wildy fun, whimsical Visions way. Our mission is to help teens everywhere. All teens deserve a chance to live a vibrant, healthy life, free from addiction, mental illness, poverty, and trauma. We all can do our part, no matter if it’s large or small.With this event, we are doing our part with flair: It’s not every day you can ping your favorite Visions peeps AND raise money for an incredible cause. I really hope you can join us!
The cost:
All-Day Admission: $70
Vest Rental: $10
Please contact JuliAnn Crommelin for more information: jcrommelin@visionsteen.com
You can read all about the Global Adolescent project on their About page. I also encourage you to watch this beautiful video from USC to get a full dose of this remarkable organization:
Roxie Fuller is a remarkable Mental Health Recovery Mentor who brings a sense of calm compassion and kindness to everyone she engages with. Roxie has the innate ability to carry a sense of serenity with her wherever she goes, regardless of circumstance. There’s something truly wonderful about Roxie: her quiet calm, the gleam in her eye, and her subtle, yet hilarious, sense of humor. Roxie is really a gem of a human being. We are grateful to have someone of this caliber as part of the Visions team. The staff wholeheartedly agrees with me:
Roxie is the sweetest old soul that you know is always listening. She’s hard working and is truly passionate about the well-being of the kids. I’m so grateful I’ve had the opportunity to work with her. – Chloe Huerta
Roxie: in that moment you think of her, it’s like a million words to describe joy, happiness, and kind-hearted come rushing your way, and yet you can’t pinpoint any perfect word to describe her–she’s just that amazing. – Janette Duran
Her gentle presence provides much serenity to the houses. It is a pleasure to have her assisting mental-health clients as a mental-health recovery mentor. – Heather Colligan
Roxie The ROCK! Do not ever underestimate Roxie. Through my time at Visions, I have been touched by how much Roxie cares for the kids and families. Roxie wears her heart on her sleeve and is always willing to give her time and energy to help. Even during the most challenging times, Roxie is aware of the emotional needs of the kids. Roxie has a quite presence that has a calming effect on the atmosphere whereever she is. – John Lieberman
Roxie! Who doesn’t love Roxie?! She has been a constant at Visions for years. She is so kind to the clients and staff alike and truly cares about all of us. Roxie has taken the steps and initiation to work with clients who are struggling with AlAnon issues and is a mentor to all of the females in our program. Her sense of humor and compassion are just two of the things that we truly appreciate about her. She is always looking at the best way to do things and offers support without question. We love us some Roxie!! – Chris and Amanda Shumow
Without further adieu, let’s continue for Roxie’s answers to our wacky 10 questions!
1: If you could be a superhero, who would you be?
Catwoman? Or Meryl Streep
2: What’s your favorite part of a road trip?
Photographing random roadside novelties
3: Cake or Pie?
Cake!!!
4: Are you a landlubber or seafaring lass?
Landlubber, I love forests. Lakes are great but the ocean intimidates me. I won’t go in past my thighs.
5: If you could have a song written about you, what musician would you want to compose it, who would perform it, and what would it be called?
Thom Yorke, “The Greatest Actress l know, and Love of My Life”
6: What did you want to be when you grew up?
Kim Zmeskal, story teller, vet.
7: If there were one magical power you could have, what would it be?
The ability to be invisible.
8: Favorite book.
“Prep” by Curtis Sittenfeld and Salinger everything.
9: What makes you laugh with abandon?
30 Rock, Strangers With Candy, my Mom, my BFF.
10: Why do you choose to work for Visions?
I have so much faith and respect for my coworkers and Visions as a whole. I see miracles happen all the time when our residents become happier, when genuine life comes back to their eyes. The fact that I get paid to witness this is insane. I was a very depressed and anxious teenager but there were no great inpatient treatment centers for adolescents in the 90’s (at least none that myself or my parents knew of) I could only wish Visions had started back then. I’m so honored to be a part of something great, where it’s core is to help/save adolescents and their families.
When being of service becomes a source of obligation and stress, you’re not really being of service to anyone. If anything, you are causing harm to yourself and denigrating the purpose of service work. The steps are in order for a reason, right? Learning to love ourselves before we can wholeheartedly love others has to become part of the cornerstone of our recovery. We do the steps and “leave no stone unturned,” looking at our actions, the actions of others, our responses to them, how they effect us, how we react, and so on. We uncover and discover as much as we can, including some things that catch us by surprise. When we are brand new, the familiar adage, “fake it till you make it,” can certainly be applicable especially when you simply need to get out of yourself by being of service. At the same time, if you find that you have dedicated yourself to helping others and “faking it” to the extent that you, yourself, are being neglected, it’s time to pause.
As much as we ran away from ourselves via drugs, alcohol, food, sex, video games, social media, we can also do the same thing in recovery by overextending ourselves in our service work. We can do too much and place ourselves at great risk for doing too little for ourselves. At some point, we have to stop and feel the feelings of whatever it is we are trying to escape. We are, as they say, “as sick as our secrets.” Within each of us in recovery potentially lies the hurt child seeking solace, safety, love, and protection. As we begin to be of service to ourselves, we can be of service to that side of us that is hurting and hiding in the darkness. We can ultimately learn to be gentle with ourselves , which will allow us to be gentle with others.
How do we do this?
Ask for help.
Get a sponsor
Find a therapist
Create a network of other people in recovery with whom you can relate, be honest, and have sustained emotional safety. (Fellowship)
Set healthy Boundaries.
Physical and emotional: Think about boundaries as a “property line.” Read what Positively Positive has to say about this. It’s fantastic.
Creating healthy boundaries will help you set guidelines for people around you that tell them what is acceptable to you and what is not. There are physical boundaries, emotional boundaries, both different but both invaluable to self-esteem building and self-care. You don’t have to agree with everyone or have him or her agree with you to be liked.
Do the work
Work the steps.
Start a journal.
Go to meetings
Take commitments
Do the deep, therapeutic work provided by your therapist.
Being of service is our ultimate goal. We need to be able to give back what has been so freely given to us. That is step 12, after all. In the process, however, we must maintain healthy boundaries and a sense of self-care. Remember, it’s ok not to be ok sometimes, however it’s not ok if we put on our trainers and run from our feelings. Allow someone to be of service to you. You deserve it just as much as the next person.
