Month: June 2013

Categories
Eating Disorders Mental Health Recovery

Eating Disorders: Putting Ed in Time Out

It’s been a while since we’ve talked about Ed (Eating Disorders), but it’s summertime, and Ed likes to interject a lot now that it’s bikini season. Oh, and FYI, it’s not uncommon for those in recovery to refer to their eating disorder as Ed. Some may give it another name, but Ed always seems to fit the bill.

 

Eating disorders are tricky: they are not about food, but food is the weapon of choice. Ed is the one quietly whispering in your ear, nagging you about calories or telling you that you really shouldn’t eat this or that or encouraging you to binge. Frankly, he’s a jerk. He doesn’t have your best interests in mind. Part of recovery is learning how to talk back to Ed, but that is a process. We tend to get so caught up in the lies and dysfunction of the eating disorder itself, we get detached from reality. Ed is a magnificent manipulator and master of ceremonies, and he digs his role.

In the book “Life Without Ed,” Jenni Shaefer declares independence from her eating disorder. She does this after a lot of therapeutic work; so don’t get any crazy ideas! Jenni  Shaefer eventually wrote a declaration of independence from her eating disorder; I’ve shared a more general version with you which was sourced from here. It’s fantastic. Perhaps it will encourage you to talk back to your eating disorder. Perhaps it will encourage you to kick Ed to the curb and declare your own independence.  Enough is enough. There’s no reason to live under the tyranny of Ed any longer. Even when he rears his ugly head, we can talk back. And even if he gets the better of you for a day or two, perhaps you can look at this and know that you can dust off your knees and stand up again. Remember, “fall down seven, stand up eight.” To quote Jenni Shaefer, “Ironically, it is the not-so-fun part of recovery that actually enables life to be so much fun in the end.”

My Declaration of Independence 

When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for a person to dissolve the bonds which have connected them to Ed, and to assume, among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of humankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all persons are endowed upon birth with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

That whenever Ed becomes destructive of these ends, it is right to abolish Ed and to institute Recovery, laying its foundation on such principles and in such form as shall seem the most likely to effect safety and happiness.

When a long train of abuses, pursuing invariably the same person evinces a design to reduce that person under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off Ed, and to provide recovery for their future security.

The history of Ed is a history of repeated absolute Tyranny over this man or woman. To prove this, let facts be submitted.

-Ed has refused for a long time to allow the individual to find happiness

-Ed has erected a multitude of binges and purges

-Ed has ravaged the individual’s life and harmed the lives of the people close to them

-Ed has cut off all emotions

-Ed has suspended the individual’s own mind and declared himself invested with the power to legislate the the individual’s world

-Ed has deprived the individual of food

-Ed has taken away the individual’s feelings, abolished his or her most valuable morals, and altered fundamentally his or her values.

Therefore, I solemnly declare that I am FREE and INDEPENDENT.

I am absolved from all allegiance to Ed.

Any connection between Ed and I will be completely dissolved, and as a free and independent individual, I have the power to eat, live in peace, and find happiness.

Categories
Mental Health Parenting

Splitting: Mom Said I Could!

Two proud zebras (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In Psychology, Splitting refers to black and white thinking and is according to Wikipedia “the failure in a person’s thinking to bring together both positive and negative qualities of the self and others into a cohesive, realistic whole.” According to Dr. George Simon, PhD., it is “an unconscious ego defense mechanism by which a fairly complex entity cannot be accepted into consciousness in its entirety because it contains aspects that are both acceptable to a person as well as unacceptable.” It is a common defense mechanism in people suffering from personality disorders, whose modus operandi is endless patterns of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships.

 

For the purpose of this particular blog, however, I am addressing the behavioral issue of splitting we most commonly see amongst kids in relation to authority figures. I’m referring to the common use of the phrase, which is used loosely in reference to kids and teens attempting to separate their parents with the intention of getting what they want. The behavior is similar in that it is an attempt to create a “good guy/bad guy” scenario. Splitting is an often misused term, and even I am misusing it in this blog as I am not referring to its true psychological meaning. This divisionary behavior is what we refer to as “staff splitting” and is loosely used by parents and staff members in the culture of treatment environments.

“No” is difficult to hear for most of us. It evokes a sense of disappointment and perhaps even a sense of loss. If we’re being honest with ourselves, none of us really likes a “no.” It’s difficult to accept such an answer to a request, as it tends to be attached to the outcome. When we can’t accept an answer we’ve been given, then our request is, in fact, a demand. Driven by the cravings of selfishness, our perspective can become skewed and we will often search out the justification we need for indulgent and often unhealthy behavior. Here is where we begin the search for the answer or answers we want, intent on defying the one we have been given. Kids tend to do this all the time, which is what we refer to as “splitting.” It typically looks like this: “But Mom lets me,” or “Dad said it was OK.” It’s a way for kids to find control in a situation that feels unacceptable to them, or to avoid feelings of dissatisfaction.

 

Not all kids behave in this way, however. The more aggressive personality types are more prone to this behavior, and they lean toward bullying one parent or staff member as they attempt to get what they want. Some key things to remember are:

  • Firm boundaries
  • Clear communication
  • Clear set of rules and expectations
  • No is a complete sentence.
  • Maybe isn’t an option.
    • Remember, backing out of a “No” is far easier than backing out of a “Yes.

No one said raising kids was easy. Remember, it didn’t come with a manual! The individuation process is smelly and rude and full of adventures and testing of limits. As the adults in this scenario, we have to try and remember what it was like. We also pushed boundaries (some of us pushed harder than others –ahem), but, once we lose it, the scale tips in the wrong direction. It is our responsibility to stay grounded.

 

If you are dealing with a legitimate psychological situation where the truest form of splitting is an issue, I encourage you to seek the appropriate care. You can find more information on splitting here and here. If you need help with mental health issues, please contact us; we are here to help.

Categories
Adolescence Feelings Holidays Mental Health Parenting Recovery

Healing the Heart: Father’s Day

Healing. (Photo credit: WolfS♡ul)

Father’s Day came and went, but I was struck by the aftermath of the day, nonetheless, when my son sat in the midst of his anger and disappointment after his own father didn’t show up for him. When my son said, “Not only did my dad not show up, he only spent 2 minutes with me on the phone,” I felt his deflation. I felt the letdown and longing for a father that would never be. And I had a visceral memory of what that was like. However, as a parent, my role isn’t to project my past onto my son’s present. Rather, my role is to hold space for him to feel and experience that which ails him, allowing his emotions to safely ride though his body. As a parent, I have to do my work on my own. Not via my son.

 

Father’s day, like Mother’s day, can elicit a varied set of emotions for our kids and for us as parents. They can range from untended loss, or expectations, abandonment, and deep grief rising internally around parents that were never available for us, be it physically or emotionally. When I first became acutely aware of this in my own life, I did what many of us do: I spiritually bypassed the situation and filled my time with practices of avoidance. At that time, my outsides appeared to be ok, but my inner voice remained devastated. The scary part is finding our voice amidst that loss. Sometimes it wobbles. Sometimes it screams. But it’s there, waiting to come out.

 

My son found his voice yesterday; he used it well. He leaned into his resources and shared his frustrations and sense of loss. He really discovered how available his step-dad is for him, finding grounding in the emotional presence and support that has been made available to him over the last 5 years. I had the honor of baring witness to such splendor.

 

Sometimes, we find ourselves grappling with the reality of having what we need but still wanting something we cannot have: my son wanting his father to be a dad but having a step-father who gives him everything he needs. On Father’s Day, we ventured to the beach, and when Joseph dried him off and kissed his head, my son giggled and said, “My dad would never do that.” It is in these moments where we hold space for that grief I was speaking of; here is where we can allow this young man the time to process the weight of his loss while reveling in the joy of the experience itself.

 

Parenting is a process and being a kid is a process. Somewhere, we meet in the middle, knees and hearts bruised along the way. But if I’ve learned anything, it’s this: our hearts have a tremendous capacity to heal. The heart, I know, is a muscle of great resilience. It can even open to the tumult of holidays, learning to forgive and/or navigate the foibles of clumsy parents and the awkwardness of adolescence.

Categories
Mental Health Recovery Spirituality Trauma

Spiritual Bypass: Nah, Feel Your Feelings

via saritphoto

The mental health community is becoming well versed in the term “Spiritual Bypass” and often uses it to recognize when individuals are relying upon a spiritual practice or belief to “bypass” or divert from the reality of their situation. For example, if someone is living in a fantastical world attached to the belief that controlling their thoughts is a means of changing the outcome of a situation, they are engaging in a form of spiritual bypass. Our actions must follow any positive intentions or those intentions will elude us. We cannot think our way into a positive outcome. Ingrid Mathieu, Ph.D., and author of Recovering Spirituality: Achieving Emotional Sobriety in Your Spiritual Practice says, “Spiritual bypass shields us from the truth, it disconnects us from our feelings, and helps us avoid the big picture. It is more about checking out than checking in—and the difference is so subtle that we usually don’t even know we are doing it.”

 

Many of us are introduced or reintroduced to a spiritual path upon entering recovery. So, when we begin developing our spiritual lives, it’s not uncommon to get lulled by the idea that we have to be perfect, or that we cannot show anger, or disappointment, or fear, or emotions other than deep gratitude and acceptance of all things. It then becomes easy to use our spirituality to avoid dealing with ourselves and our shadows dancing in the corners of our lives. There isn’t a person who comes to a spiritual path free from some kind of suffering or sorrow. We all have some kind of trauma we are working with, or running from, or trying to navigate. Feelings are uncomfortable. They hurt. They make our knees buckle.  They make us weep and scream. They make us feel broken. I assure you, we are far from broken. We are merely bending from exhaustion and fear and resistance. Here, when we spiritually bypass, we certainly have moments of reprieve, but they are merely moments. Here’s what actually happens: those feelings, fears, disappointments, longings, losses, hurts, traumas, they all fester inside of our bodies. And they eek out of us when we least expect it: in traffic, in the grocery line, toward our children, toward our friends, toward our teachers, toward our students, toward ourselves.

 

It’s alluring to seek out a “quick fix,” but the fact is, we have to walk through the muck of emotions and slog through those dark, sticky feelings to get to the other side, which is freedom. The saying “The only way out is through,” isn’t for naught. When we rely upon spiritual bypass, we are choosing to only focus on that which we like. Life is so much more than that: it’s a remarkable prism of joy, and pain, love, and light, sadness, grief, birth, and death. It is a sea of wonder. It is a symphony. Grab hold of it and enjoy it, even the ugly is there to teach us something. It is where we learn our resilience, and our capacity for care. To quote one of my teachers, Hala Khouri, “Our wounds our often the source of our gifts, and if we don’t investigate our wounds, they will get in the way.

Categories
Anniversary Blogs Recovery Service Treatment

Sarit Rogers, New Media Manager

Sarit Rogers is Visions’ very own Woman of Words – Our Billowing Blogger, Lady of Language and Sorceress of Social Media.  She officially joined the V-Team in 2010 and found her stride as our new Media Manager.  We had an idea of what we wanted her to structure, but could not dream of the ways she would use her innovation to build upon the face of Visions in today’s digital world.

With her permission, I’d like to give her a big shout out on 20 years of sobriety today!!!  Every Blog, Tweet and Post is driven from an innate desire to help others find a life of health and happiness.  Sarit’s raw, candid and unbiased way of writing continues to inspire our team and many more readers across the world.

She is a passionate mother to one very cool kid, is wife to Visions’ Mr. Rogers and is the loving owner of her pup, LuLu.  Sarit is a creative activist at heart.  Inspiring others with her writings, photography and yoga practice, she is constantly looking to help others find the authentic beauty of the inner self.

Collaborating on our Staff Blogs has been one of my favorite jobs to create with Sarit.  We have had a ton of fun letting our readers know who the masterminds are that make Visions what it is.  Sarit has allowed us to see how much we are valued amongst our peers…now it is time for her to feel the same:

– Christina Howard

“Like her on Facebook, retweet her, snapchat about it, #JustSarit is anything but ‘just’ our New Media Manager.  She has a great artistic eye and has been instrumental in transforming our web content.  This recognition is long overdue!” –Patrick Schettler

“What comes across so clearly to me in Sarit’s writing is that she genuinely cares.  She is passionate in her desire to help others, the embodiment of compassion in action.  Visions is blessed to have such a talented writer who can produce well-researched, thoughtful, and timely articles.  But what really comes across in her writing is a lifetime of personal transformation that has brought her to a place of deep understanding and hope.” – Joseph Rogers

“Besides Sarit being the realest & funniest person at Visions, she’s the most sincere & caring.  Whenever I have the chance to be around her, I make sure I get my daily dose of Sarit.”  – Janette Duran

“Sarit is one of the smartest, kindest ladies I know!  Not only has she helped me post photos from 6,000 miles away on facebook when I was Paris and I couldn’t figure it out, but she was able to get me back on icloud after my kids signed on incorrectly so many times that we were locked out, for life it seemed.  Apple tech support couldn’t understand why we were not able to get back with their help at the Genius Bar!…but Sarit fixed it via a few texts.  She is just awesome.” – Colleen Kelly, PhD

“Sarit is amazing, special, talented, loving, strong, fearless, kind and so much more!  She possesses a positive and loving spirit/energy.  It’s felt the moment you meet her!  All that cross her path are blessed and feel inspired by her greatness!”  – Jennifer Werber

“Sarit is our beautiful wordsmith who makes someone like me, who is known for potty language and poor punctuation, sound like a poet! Sarit is awesome, always thinking of ways to put our Vision out to words, pictures, facebook posts and blogs. She is willing to show up to events to “live tweet” and is always active when there are shows on that discuss issues we deal with in treatment.  She brings Visions’ ideas out into the world of social media. Sarit is not only our social media manager, but also an amazing photographer and….wait for it….married to JRO another one of the Visions family members! She is a wonderful mother and we are always grateful for Sarit’s take on our business planning meetings! Thanks for all you do!” – Amanda Shumow

Let’s Break into this creative mind with our pondering 10 questions:

1.Favorite Song of all time and why?

“Sympathy For the Devil,” Rolling Stones. Musically, it’s multi-layered and interesting.  Lyrically,  it remains one of those songs that is simply timeless. It’s feisty, political, and it illuminates the fact that we all have a dark side within each of us. I’ve loved it every since I was a tot.

2.  Frog pose or tree pose?

Definitely tree pose. It’s nice to be able to find balance and strength physically and mentally.

3.  What would you like to find at the end of a rainbow?

Aside from the elusive pot of gold? A nice cup of tea and warm, stripey socks.

4.  Best thing about being a MOM?

Watching my son experience the world. It’s incredible to see how he loves others without judgment, shows compassion with ease, thinks outside of the box, and is comfortable being who is is. Now if I could just get him to come back to his senses and stop listening to Nicki Minaj…

5.  Who’s a stronger woman…Wonder Woman, Shera or Oprah?

Wonder Woman, hands down. She’s a warrior fighting for justice, equality, love, peace–with sass!  Oh, and I’ve always liked DC comics.

6.  Cookies or Cake?

Sigh. These days, I’d have to say cookies. Gluten Free cake usually tastes like a sweet rock.

7.  Best thing about being married to Mr.Rogers?

One thing? Really? Okay: He’s FunnyIntelligentKindGentleImaginativeMybestfriend

8.  What paints a better picture…Writing or Photography?

Hm. A good writer can paint a picture tantamount to a good photograph if they have  a thesaurus and one hell of an imagination. They are both equal to me but for different reasons. My pen and my camera are extensions of myself.

As my favorite photographer, Ruth Bernhard once said, “Light is my inspiration, my paint and brush.”

9.  What do you want to be when you grow up?

Compassionate.

10.  Why do you work for Visions?

Many, many reasons. We offer something that was barely in existence when I was getting sober. To work for a company that has made helping teens and their families through one of their darkest times is a blessing for which I am truly grateful. Every word I write, every tweet, and every FB post is an act of being of service and extending the familial arm of the Visions’ family. And I get to do it in my yoga pants.

 

 

Categories
Mindfulness Recovery Self-Care Spirituality Trauma

Yoga Teacher Training: Transformation

First practicum EVER! #teachertraining #yoga via saritphoto

It’s been an incredible 9 days of yoga teacher training. I have been cracked open and infused with so many tools, love, support, an incredible community, a mountain of information; it’s not even close to being over! I am just beginning what I believe to be a lifelong process of learning. Sure, when I complete these 200 hours, this particular training will be over, but to me, yoga is something that is always evolving. The body is changing: as we age, as we get injured, heal, go through life changes, it changes, and there is always something to learn.

 

When I began this journey, I knew from an intellectual space that I would be learning about yoga: postures, how they should be aligned, how trauma presents in the body, how it releases, where the muscles and bones are, et cetera. I knew I was going to learn a lot from these teachers, and I knew that I was going to learn in a unique way. Hala Khouri is a Somatic Experiencing therapist, after all, and she brings that into the way she speaks and teaches. It has been illuminating. I also had a good feeling that there might even be some kind of transformation. I had no idea how much would actually occur.

 

My teachers are not conventional yoga teachers. They are uniquely themselves, exploring and teaching a non-dualistic path to a reality-based, grounded practice of yoga. They teach us about trauma so we are conscious about keeping our classes safe and grounded. They are teaching us about grounding, orienting and resourcing, terms familiar to me from my understanding of Somatic Experiencing and recovery work, but also applicable in a yoga class. Finding refuge in my body has happened for me on my yoga mat, but that has occurred because I have been fortunate to have teachers skilled in creating a sacred space for their students to have their own liberating experiences. In this yoga teacher training, we are being taught to do the same and that means we need to know how to ground, orient, and provide resourcing options for our students. It is in these ways that we can find refuge within and ultimately have a transformation, no matter how small it may be.

 

My recovery has never been one-dimensional. As I’ve tacked on more years, I have explored my spiritual paths, finding a calling to dig deeper into the layers of muck within myself that caused me to shrink back in layers of fear, shyness, insecurity, self-loathing, shame, lack of trust, or whatever rose to the surface. It is within the contemplative practices of yoga and meditation where I learned to dance with my fear and face my shadows. It was through those practices, the steps, therapy, and a lot of patience that I learned to shine particles of light into the darkest of places.  This yoga teacher training has lifted me up and supported every ounce of my practice, leading me through layers that still need excavating and continues to show me the way to play with my shadow side. I am finding my voice. Ironically, it is the one thing that eludes me. My voice as a writer is strong, but as a public speaker? Forget about it!

 

So, dear ones, This week rounds out module one. The transformation has been incredibly real. I am more grounded, more open, and more equanimous. I feel more connected to everyone and everything around me. And, more importantly, I feel the most “me” I have ever felt. Let’s dance!

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Categories
Anniversary Blogs Service Treatment

Jennifer Werber, Business Manager

Jennifer Werber is our wonderful Business Manager who joined us after Stan retired. Those were a pretty large pair of shoes to step into, but it was evident Jennifer, who we love to call Jenny, was going to do it in her own style. What I really admire about her is the fact that she didn’t really step into old shoes; she came in wearing her own and did so without upsetting the equilibrium of the staff. It takes great skill and compassion to do such a thing. The first time I met Jenny, it felt like I’d known her my whole life. Everything she does, whether it’s answering a question about insurance or a question about payroll, or simply looking into something for someone, she does it with a sense of calm, understanding, professionalism, and kindness. She’s an amazing woman and one whom I’m glad to know and work with. We have an extraordinary team at Visions, and Jenny is a perfect addition and wonderful part of the Visions family. Think I’m kidding? Read on. The staff completely agrees with me. Oh, and Jenny, I want those caramel, Oreo thingamabobs!

 

“Incredibly intelligent and personable! She adds a fun dimension to the Visions team. Jenny also makes the most incredible desserts such as caramel, Oreo fudge brownies!!!!!”– Mie Keneda

 

“This is one of those moments where I don’t even know where to begin. Jenny has a kind heart, and a wise soul. This woman is extraordinary in every single way. She brightens up the office with her smile and great sense of humor. It’s rare to find someone so giving and selfless in this world. She is a rare gem and honestly whatever else I say about her, words don’t her justice.” – Janette Duran

 

“Where do I even start?! Jenny is one of the most amazing people I have ever met. She’s such a great addition to the Visions’ family. Her drive and dedication is almost scary sometimes- I’m convinced she’s a superwoman. Jenny keeps us sane. I’m so happy to be able to call her a coworker and most of all a friend. Love you, Jenny!”  — Ashley Harris

 

“Jenny stepped into some big shoes. We are fortunate to have her. She is kind, considerate, and has a maternal quality. She always brings in delicious food and genuinely cares about the employees at Visions. I’m not sure how we made it this far without her. The shoes fit.” – Daniel Dewey

 

“Jenny!  We are so happy to have Jenny’s experience and patience (not to mention her amazing desert-making skills) on the team.  We had considered ourselves a small-time operation for so many years that we had no idea the amount of work Jenny was walking into.  She has spent 6 days a week trying to straighten us out; we truly appreciate her for that and so many other reasons.  She is so funny and tries not to laugh when we are really pushing the limits on “proper” office etiquette. We (ok maybe not Chris) are sure that when Jenny has a year with us, she will finally jump on the Friday afternoon dance parties held at Mulholland :).  Thank you for all you do, Jenny.  We look forward to the next stage of Visions with you as one of the anchors!”  — Amanda Shumow

 

And the quintessential piece to these blogs: those pesky 10 questions! Keep reading!

 

1: Are you a coffee or tea kind of gal?

Neither.  I don’t like coffee or tea.  I drink mostly water and diet soda.

2: What’s the one thing guaranteed to make you laugh with utter abandon?

My nephews off the wall antics or comments … OR Amanda and Ashley Harris’ acts of random silliness!

3: How would you describe your perfect day?  

Start it off with relaxation, tranquility, somewhere tropical … continue and end it with loved ones, lots of fun, lots of laughs, good music, good food…

4: What did you want to be when you grew up? Did you come close?

Initially, I wanted to be and Astronaut.  Definitely did not come close to that!  By the age of 9-10, I wanted to be a Sr. VP in Marketing for the NBA.  I guess I did get somewhat closer to this, as I spent 6 years working within the NBA for the Los Angeles Clippers!  However, it was not in Marketing.  I never throught I would end up in Finance and Human Resources.

5: Are you more right or left brained?

That is tough!  Honestly, I think I have characteristics of both.  But I think I definitely have more left brain traits and characteristics.

6: Clippers or Lakers?

Another tough one … I grew up a Laker fan, but working with the Clippers for six years definitely created a Clipper fan.

7: What inspires you?

Love, kindness, creativity, art, culture, people …

8: What three things do you look for on others? What three things do you strive for in yourself?

In others:  respect, honesty, loyalty  I strive for:  Probably the same, but more than anything I strive to be better every day and learn from my successes and failures.

9: What flower describes your personality?

Maybe a Sunflower?  But, I also love lilies (Casablanca and Calla).  The sunflower reflects warmth and openness to me, but the Lily represents sophistication, strength and perhaps some mystery to me …

10: Why do you choose to work for Visions?

The opportunity for professional growth within an organization that believed in me, and supported me, was definitely one of my top reasons for joining the Visions Team.   However, to be a part of an organization that believes in what they do with all of their heart and soul, touches so many people’s lives, believes in their team, are proud of their team’s accomplishments, and supports / recognizes the people who make it happen every day is what sold me!

Categories
Feelings Mental Health Recovery

Getting Overwhelmed: Knowing Your Limits and the Limits of Others

As teachers, therapists and facilitators, we have to become aware of our own edge: knowing when we are getting overwhelmed, knowing when those in our charge are feeling overwhelmed, and knowing when we need to step back ourselves or facilitate that same process of backing off in someone else. Working with the addiction and mental health population means coming to a place of deep understanding and awareness of the subtle shifts of emotional temperatures that can occur in any given situation. The process of helping others and working with others isn’t about feeding our own egos so we can feel superior, but rather facilitating and creating a safe container for those in crisis and helping them find the willingness to take a chance at finding their own edge (trying something new and finding that sense of coming close to but not being overwhelmed) and broadening their comfort zones.

 

There are many ways in which we can recognize when someone may need to back off, or work on getting grounded. As part of a treatment team, we have to be aware of each client’s needs and these are some of the key signs we look for as well as some of the key tools we need to have in our toolboxes:

 

  1.  Look for any change in a person’s baseline behavior. Some people will talk more, and some will talk less. It’s as though some are stuck in the “on” position and some on the “off” position.
  2. Some people shut down. Are they isolating? Are they crumpled up in a ball?
  3. Actively listen to what someone is saying. If someone shares his or her difficulty, take heed, are you really listening?
  4. Know who is actually working with their edge and know what their resources are. Can they self-regulate? Do they have their resourcing (their calming tools) readily available?
  5. Facilitate time-outs. Let people know that it’s okay to take breaks from a situation that is making them feel overwhelmed. Sometimes, showing someone what a time-out looks like by mirroring it, helps illustrate its safety.

 

 

While we certainly want to push our clients and ourselves to explore and expand emotional and physical limitations, it’s extremely important we provide a safe container in which this can become possible. We are empowered to show others how to orient themselves in new situations, find their grounding, and self-regulate when they begin to feel themselves slip of out of control. We are also empowered with the loving arm of compassion and service which allows us to show someone how to ask for help and accept that help when it is offered. To teach, treat, and to care for others is a gift and an honor.

 

Categories
Mental Health Mindfulness Recovery Self-Care Trauma

Yoga: A Personal Journey of Investigation

Keri-Anne Telford (Photo credit: Sarit Photography)

Yoga and Buddhist meditation play an enormous part in my personal story. They are the practices that have allowed me find refuge in my body, courage in my heart, and the fearlessness to walk into the darkness that once plagued me and led me to self-harm, drink, fall apart, and detach. In truth, I find that learning to relate to ourselves better equips us in our ability to relate to others. Because isn’t the ultimate goal really to help others and to be of service?

 

Today, I begin the first module of my 200-hour yoga teacher training with Julian Walker and Hala Khouri—two individuals I hold in high regard. I had investigated this training (Awakened Heart, Embodied Mind) for 2 years previous and allowed my fear of the adventure and deep personal investigation to get in my way. This time feels different. This time, I was finally ready. I’m grateful for this opportunity and excited to see what will ultimately unfold. Working with trauma has really become the driving force behind my own practice and has become something I’ve found beneficial for the women I work with. Those who work with trauma are inspiring and I understand that if we can unravel the web of hurt and pain, we have an opportunity for real healing, knowing that it takes willingness to feel discomfort and to face the very things that plague us.

 

I didn’t just want “any” yoga teacher training, I wanted something that would foster my own healing around trauma, my need to be of service and my deep desire to help others change their relationships to their bodies and the traumas we all hold within our physical and emotional structures. This teacher training in particular blends the “ancient and modern, Buddhist and Yogic, anatomical and energetic, spiritual and psychological tools and information” to allow the practitioner/student to truly find their authentic voice in this vast world of spiritual practice, allowing themselves to truly find a space to heal and have a voice.

 

Check out Julian Walker’s style of yoga and his approach to training in his book, Awakened Heart, Embodied Mind: A Modern Yoga Philosophy Infused with Somatic Psychology & Neuroscience. It’s an interesting, inspiring, heart-opening read. I feel fortunate and deeply honored to be a part of this journey and excited to share whatever unfolds with the Visions community, because in many ways, you all are my heart and what also inspire me to be of service and do what I do. I’ll be journaling this adventure, so stay tuned!

 

“Compassion is not always nice. We can set boundaries, tell truths and express anger while still being compassionate.” Julian Walker

Interesting reads:

21st Century Yoga

Yoga PhD

Threads of Yoga

 

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