Categories
Mental Health Recovery

Cultivating Healthy, Healing Relationships in Recovery

Developing positive, healthy relationships are the one of the cornerstones in our recovery process.  One’s earnings or the size of one’s bank account doesn’t define success in recovery, though that doesn’t stop us from placing the expectations of monetary success upon ourselves. It’s not unusual to get sober and equate success in recovery with what we have, whom we date, where we live, what we drive, et cetera. In time, however, it is our cultivation of healthy relationships with those around us that are the true markers of success. Think about it this way: if the things we have define the quality of our lives, what happens if our accumulation of stuff is abated?  Are we left empty and bereft of joy? I think not. Instead, we must find a way to enjoy the skin we’re in, sans outside pleasures and impermanent pleasure

 

When we fixate on accumulating stuff rather than cultivating strong, supportive relationships with those around us, we may find we’re not as happy as we want to be. The more we ignore that which causes us pain, and the more we attempt to fill ourselves with stuff, the more uncomfortable we’re apt to become. We tend to place undo importance on what we have during our lives but speak primarily about the quality of relationships with family and friends at the end of our lives.  When we face our mortality, the issue of “stuff” isn’t high on the list of important topicsOne of the most important relationships we learn to cultivate early on in recovery is with a sponsor. The only guideline we have is to find someone who “has what we want.” That doesn’t refer to the kind of car they drive; it refers to the quality of their program, if they’ve worked the steps, and if they are spiritually sound. Unfortunately, we often times are influenced by someone’s outsides rather than what’s important for our insides. The moral of the story is this: cultivate your relationships with others the way you would nurture a burgeoning garden or pot of coffee. You know I know how important coffee is in recovery!

Categories
Recovery

A Working Definition of Recovery

SAMHSA recently provided mental-health professionals a working definition of
recovery:

A process of change through which individuals improve their health and wellness, live a self-directed life, and strive to reach their full potential.”

The impetus behind this definition was to create something that reflects the “common elements of the recovery experience for those with mental disorders and/or substance use disorders.” While this is certainly a more clinical definition of what recovery is, it remains a valuable foundational reference for professionals working in the mental health and substance abuse fields.

 

SAMHSA’s Principals of Recovery look like this:

  • Person-driven;
  • Occurs via many pathways;
  • Is holistic;
  • Is supported by peers;
  • Is supported through relationships;
  • Is culturally-based and influenced;
  • Is supported by addressing trauma;
  • Involves individual, family, and community strengths and responsibility;
  • Is based on respect; and
  • Emerges from hope.

 

 SAMSHA also identifies four major domains that support recovery:

  • Health: overcoming or managing one’s disease(s) as well as living in a physically and emotionally healthy way;
  • Home: a stable and safe place to live that supports recovery;
  • Purpose: meaningful daily activities, such as a job, school, volunteerism, family caretaking, or creative endeavors, and the independence, income and resources to participate in society; and
  • Community: relationships and social networks that provide support, friendship, love, and hope.

 

As we work with families, guiding young adults through the process of recovery, all of these references are embedded in the treatment plans we outline and the activities and groups we facilitate. Part of the recovery process helps distill the unhelpful belief that we are damaged goods and unworthy of a healthy life of recovery. It clears the clouded perception that drugs and alcohol nullify one’s discomfort and provides a bird’s eye view into the benefits and bounty of clean living. It is truly liberating not to hide behind the veils of mental illness and/or addiction. The process of recovery guides us toward the potentiality of that liberation and frees us from the bondage of self.

 

There will be difficult times, beautiful times, times where you think you might not make it or times that you might feel invincible. This is life, and recovery allows us to weather life’s rollercoaster ride in a healthier way. Recovery teaches us resilience. It teaches us that we can fall down, dust ourselves off and get back up again. It shows us that we are human, fallible, imperfect, and magnificent. Recovery teaches us that we are enough.

 

Categories
Body Image

Dove Wants to Know You See Yourself

Check out the latest ad campaign video from Dove. They’ve always been at the forefront when it comes to raising awareness around body image and helping to change the way advertisers sell their products or at least the way we, as consumers, view ourselves in relation to those products. This video is powerful: an artist shows us how we see ourselves versus how others see us. You may be amazed at the difference, but I doubt it. We tend to be our own worse critics but we are much more beautiful than we think we are. In fact, we are beautiful and diverse from the inside out.

Dove makes an interesting point with this video. As one who is a fierce advocate for body image awareness and acceptance, I have to say, I am pleased to see a company bold enough to show us our vulnerability surrounding our appearance. Those of us with eating disorders, who struggle with that image on a regular basis can really understand that vulnerability. However, we are not our outsides, we are not our clothes, or hair. We are, in fact, wondrous beautiful creatures within. We are magnificent, capable, courageous, and yes, beautiful. Next time you look in the mirror try  saying this: “You are magnificent.” Eventually, you will believe it.

Categories
Mental Health Recovery Therapy Trauma Treatment

Boston Marathon: Emotional Care During Tragedy

Boston Marathon Finish Line.1910. Author: Unknown. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We are once again faced with the darkness of another tragedy: the bombing at the Boston Marathon. Events like this inevitably bring up our past traumas, leading to feelings of deep sadness, and often confronted by some of our unfettered grief. There is also a huge sense of confusion when we are faced with the unanswerable question of “Why?”

 

As parents, it is important to be transparent and honest with our kids in times like this. This does not mean sharing gruesome photographs of the event with them or feeding them gory details. Talking to our kids and allowing them to have a voice in a traumatic time is important. When the bombing at the Boston Marathon happened, we sat down with our son and talked to him about it. We wanted to make sure he heard it from us and not from the rumor mill of middle school, where hyperbole and fear mongering are the norm. He felt shock, confusion, and sadness. For parents, it was and continues to be our responsibility to honor the feelings of our kids and provide a safe container for them to express themselves. The world can be a scary place, especially with the effects of random acts of violence. Our son had many questions about what happened in Boston, many of which mirrored the questions of so many—kids and adults alike: “Am I safe?” “Why is there so much violence?” “Why would someone do that?” “Should I be worried?” “Will it happen here?” It’s important that his questions are answered and that he is allowed to process what he’s heard, lest we create another environment of trauma.

 

The tragedy those in Boston are confronted with never should have happened; but it did. It is real and it is heinous. Those directly affected by the devastation at the Boston Marathon will have deep trauma and grief to process and they will need support. When I see and hear of things this atrocious, I am reminded of a few things we can and should do in times like this:

  • lean into our circles of support,
  • be of service,
  • remember and honor those thrust into sudden loss and tragedy of senseless acts of violence.
  • Look at the positive: the people helping, the survivors, the community that reaches out to strangers.

 

In his book Trauma-Proofing Your Kids Dr. Peter Levine talks about the ways Somatic Experiencing is used in a crisis. Somatic Experiencing is focused on “symptom relief and in resolving the underlying ‘energy’ that feeds those symptoms.” (p.214)  Instead of asking kids to “tell the story” of what happened, they are asked to share their “post-event difficulties,” i.e., the physical or emotional fall-out they are experiencing after the event occurred. For example: fatigue, headaches, difficulty sleeping or eating, stomach aches, spaciness, emotional numbing, worry, guilt, et cetera.  The goal is not to re-traumatize the individual, but to help the process of self-regulation and emotional discharge.

 

Please make sure you are getting what you need if you are experiencing emotional difficulty since the tragedy at the Boston Marathon. If you find that you are having a hard time:

  • Take a break from the media.
  • Do some movement: jump rope, hike, do yoga, just move your body.
  • Be kind to yourself.

“Trauma can be prevented or transformed; it does not have to be a life sentence.”

Dr. Peter Levine

Categories
Recovery

Embrace Change: It’s a Requirement in Recovery

Think Outside the Box (Photo credit: Sarit Photography)

How can you embrace the change that occurs after recovery begins?

For one thing, you have to do the work to change the morality of the person within—the one who made all of those harmful choices that landed you in treatment and recovery.  We are innately good, but if we don’t do the inner work to change the way we engage with those around us, our goodness is truly in peril. Is that what you want in addition to sobriety? A failing sense of “goodness”? I didn’t think so. This is good to keep in mind, especially since Coachella is here!

1: We removed drugs and alcohol from our lives.

2: We are addressing any mental health issues that arise or have been ignored – with the help of professionals, of course (we did the self-help thing, remember?)

3: Change your social circles. This is one of the toughest things to do, especially as a teen! There are, however, wonderful sober teens and sober communities out there!

4: Learn how to have fun without drugs and alcohol.

5: Surround yourself with like-minded people whose love and support is unconditional.

6: Learn how to say no. Healthy boundaries will save your ever-lovin’ bums.

7: Do the tough work before it works you. In other words, get the correct therapeutic support so the shadows of your trauma and past don’t overcome the light of your presence.

8: Know that you don’t have to do this alone. Things can get tough; in recovery, the isolation and self-deprecation cease to be an active choice.

9: Dance. Dance and sing and act ridiculous. It frees the mind and soul and lets the light in. Think I’m nuts? Watch Glee or YouTube the Harlem Shake. Never has being ridiculous been more fun!

10: Love yourself and the love of others will seem less foreign. Know t hat You deserve to be loved.

Have fun at Coachella, folks! Remember, you’re not the “you” you used to be. Your morals have shifted, your goals are different, and your path isn’t paved with empty bottles and vomit anymore: you are embracing change. Your path is now paved with love and support and a second chance.

Categories
Adolescence Recovery Treatment

NExT: Santa Monica’s Adolescent Extended Care

Santa Monica Beach Reflections (Photo credit: szeke)

Santa Monica, California:

home of the Beach Boys, beautiful sunsets, surf, skateboarding, healthy living and NeXT, our gender-specific Extended Care program for teens. NeXT provides a therapeutic environment for teens that helps guide them and teach them how to become grounded in their independence while living away from home. Teens can come from any treatment facility across the nation and live at our Extended Care. No physical parental presence needed, though emotional support is welcome and required. Included in the treatment plans for those living at Extended Care is a supportive and caring education environment along with the appropriate therapeutic services required for healing.

 

Adriana Camarillo, our Educational Director aptly says this about NeXT: “It provides the structure and guidance that so many of our teens need. The staff is supportive and enthusiastic about recovery so it gives our clients something to look forward to about sobriety.” Being enthusiastic about healing and recovery from addiction and mental illness is paramount to the success of our adolescents and their families. Teens need to want to do something, it has to be appealing to them, and our program has identified that component and made it a reality.

 

Santa Monica, my hometown and perhaps the impetus behind my particular bias, really is a wonderful place. Where else can you easily ride your bike to the beach, go to a vast span of yoga classes, learn to meditate, eat at places like Urth Café or Café Gratitude, breathe clean air, visit the SM Pier and ride the ferris wheel, learn to fly trapeze, skateboard everywhere, drink Groundwerks coffee and also have an array of young people’s recovery meetings to choose from?  Doing all of that sober with sober friends is better than fun, it’s exhilarating!

 

So, if you’re worried about the future of your adolescents’ treatment plan and really want a safe, healing, fun space for them learn to live again, stay sober, and learn to love recovery, look no further. NExT is your place. Reality and healing can really be like heaven on earth and with a clinical and educational staff at the ready, it is therapeutically divine.

Categories
Addiction Recovery Therapy Treatment

The Value of an Outpatient Program

Outpatient programs have a unique position for those seeking treatment. They are sometimes looked upon as a softer way to approach treatment when a family is seeking help for their teen. There are some who think they can recover via our outpatient program alone, only to find out they need the more intensive care of our residential facility.  There are those who resist our outpatient program after spending time in residential only to discover that it is through our outpatient program where they learn to apply the tools they learned in our residential program.

 

Our outpatient program provides a therapeutic and safe container to continue the inner work that was being focused on at residential as well as to discover and tangibly experience how to live and love life as a sober, recovering person.  We treat males and females, 13-18 years of age and require the involvement of a family member. The first level of our outpatient program is called First Step. It is an introduction to treatment and takes place over an 8-week period. Here a teen will be provided with clinical support, group support, an individual session, a family session, and drug testing. The next level of our outpatient program is our Intensive Outpatient Program, and that takes place over the span of 1 year. This really is the continuation of our programs and provides a higher level of focused, outpatient care, which is broken down into 3 phases: Primary Care, Continuing Care, and After Care. In this way, your teen is being provided with the roots of treatment and wings of recovery all in the same, clinically supported environment.

For more information about our outpatient program, please read here. We can recover, one step at a time.

Categories
Addiction Adolescence Recovery

Addiction: Starting Anew and Letting Go

Stop! Are you being of service? Are to being kind? Are you hungry? Are you angry? Are you lonely? Are you tired? #recovery #selfcare #love #kindness #VTeam

Addiction:

It creeps up on you, biding its time, weaving its way into your mind and body, wrecking your resolve, staining your spirit. It plays a game of cat and mouse, its talons elusive, its manipulation brilliant; it captures you like a rat in a cage. I want to say that we can prepare our teens for treatment, but once those talons of addiction are embedded, nothing sane makes sense until the talons are removed and the healing begins. Addiction effects more than the user: it affects the family as a whole, nuclear or otherwise; it doesn’t give two shakes of a lamb’s tail who you are, where you come from, your financial status, race, color, creed, religion, gender, or sexual orientation.

 

Addiction is a hopeless affair until you stand up to it and take the reigns of your life back. But that process takes work; it takes dedication; it takes a commitment to yourself, to your family, and to the world in which you live. It means looking at the ugly, dark, and terrifying thing in the recesses of your mind and body and naming it. It means recognizing the warrior within and ultimately dealing with whatever it is you’re running from. Something to note about drugs and alcohol: their numbing properties are merely a temporary Band-Aid for a much larger problem.

 

When a family comes to us, broken and scared, we understand the complex characteristics of what addiction does. It erodes trust, negatively impacts emotional safety, creates an environment fueled by fear and anger, and depletes the coping skills of the family as a whole. As a result, everyone is vulnerable. It is here where the work begins. Often, it is within that vulnerability where one finds the opening in the heart and mind that allows the healing to begin. We understand that the work of the family is layered: it requires honesty, and an ability to look at oneself; it requires willingness to separate your reactions to your child and to develop compassion; it requires a desire to forgive, and a desire to be forgiven. The treatment process allows for a new beginning, if you will, something many don’t ever have a chance to access. It’s an opportunity to recognize the warrior within—we all have one!

 

I can give you a million tools that may or may not prevent addiction from effecting your life, but the truth is, there’s no one way. For some, addiction is a something they are born with, for others, the spark is triggered by a traumatic event, and for others, it’s something unknown. As parents and support persons, it behooves us to let go of our laundry lists of the woulda-coulda-shouldas, and show up for our suffering teens. We can be supportive, we can get them help, we can love them in spite of their behavior, we can show them the meaning of unconditional love, and we can create safe, healthy boundaries for them and for ourselves. It’s not unlike an addict or alcoholic to push your every button to get a rise out of you, so boundaries are an imperative. Just because you’re showing support doesn’t mean you may continue to be a battering ram. You can love with boundaries: it’s not easy, but once you get the hang of it, your life will change for the better.

 

Try to remember to be kind to yourself as parents or kind to yourself as the teen in trouble. Allow the clinicians and supporting staff guide you back to wellness and stability. If there’s one thing that has stuck with me since I got sober it’s this: remain teachable. Once you think you know everything, you can’t learn anything new. Taking these early steps onto the recovery path is part of a letting-go process: we let go of what we think we know so we can learn a new way of living.

Allow yourself the opportunity to begin the healing process and embark on this path out of the darkness of addiction and be welcomed into the arms and support of the recovery community. With recovery comes grace and dignity, and those are qualities lacking in the addiction realm.

Categories
Addiction Guest Blogs Recovery

Is Your Teen Taking Drugs?

Is Your Teen Taking Drugs? Follow This 4 Step Action Plan

Guest post by Rosy Cooper of Future Expectations Today

In a survey conducted by the World Health Organization (WHO) revealed that the US has a higher number of teen substance-abuse cases in comparison to many other countries. These results can be frightening for the parents of teens, especially those whose age is between 10 to 19 years.

When you discover that your teen is struggling from drug addiction or abuse, you may have a difficult time with your own emotions, anger and feelings. This is the biggest mistake most parents make. Regardless of how critical your teen’s case seems, recovery is feasible with the help of the right support and treatment.

Here is a 5-step action guide to follow to help your teen overcome the drug abuse or addiction:

 1.      Emotional Nurturing

This is one of the most effective factors in drug abuse treatment for adolescents. Take a step forward and reach out to the root cause of the problem and always let your teen know you’re with them until they start loving themselves again.

Remember, it’s not a piece of cake to recover from serious substance abuse. The path is long and challenging. Your teen requires space, time, motivation, commitment and support throughout their recovery.

 2.     Explore Different Treatment Options

Now it’s time to look for the treatment options available in your country.

One of the most important things to consider when you search for treatment is there is no single treatment for all drug addicts. For example, an adult facility wouldn’t work for your teen. Look for an exclusive teen rehabilitation center that best suits your child’s needs and conditions.

Often, drug addict suffer from psychological disorders, which means you need to find a dual-diagnosis treatment center where your teen can get both mental health and drug addiction treatment.

 3.     Don’t Hesitate in Asking For Support

You need support too!  You may share your problems with friends, relatives and other reliable people in your life. Because addiction is a family problem, treatment facilities will also provide family groups, as well as offer support groups. Having supportive resources will provide you with the support you need while also supporting your teen’s recovery process.

 4.     Keep Them Engaged

The best teen drug rehabs, camps or schools follow this concept as a helpful tool for recovering addicts. They organize various fun activities like hiking, mountain climbing, cycling, picnicking, et cetera, to keep struggling teens engaged and to teach social skills while also showing them they can have fun without drugs and alcohol.

These rehab centers or camps may also take troubled teens to various places, so they can experience a diversity of culture and nature. Many studies show that a positive environment, friendliness and healthy activities (both physical and intellectual) play a crucial role in the recovery of adolescents.

The road to recovery is challenging, but the right road map can certainly help your teen on the battlefield of his or her life.

Author Bio: Rosy works for a trust based teen rehabilitation center. She often writes about prevention methods, signs and various treatment methods of teen drug addicts in many health magazines and online blogs. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

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