Jesse Engdahl came to us a little over a year ago when we began our Launch program. With him came quite the bag of tricks: Jesse holds several degrees, he is an incredible writer and extraordinarily skilled at managing college applications, something many folks lack. Because Jesse has persistently continued his education, it has allowed him to hold a bevy of information and build broad skill set, including the ability t0 facilitate peer mediation, run groups, and act as a writing coach. More than anything, though, Jesse Engdahl is a great example of someone in recovery who is always of service. If you need something, I’m sure that Jesse will be there in a heartbeat. He’s kind, funny, and walks with an open heart.
The staff rained some beautiful accolades on Mr. Engdahl. Check it out:
“Jesse is the best work husband ever! Kind thoughtful hard working, makes my life so much easier… Also a dear friend.” – Noelle Rodriguez
“If I need something done for a client that is outside the box, Jesse is the man I send them to see. He seems to have an inexhaustible source of unique ideas for difficult problems, and quite frankly, he knows everyone. He is willing to stick with our clients through the most difficult of problems and doesn’t ever give up on trying to find a way to help them. Jesse is the guy I would go to if I ever needed something to do on a Friday night; he’s the concierge of sobriety.” – Joseph Rogers
“Jesse joined us about a year ago with the Launch of Launch. 🙂 His good-natured and creative approach to engaging the client has truly helped us to become a more well-rounded program. Jesse has a special way of finding what “clicks” with a client when it comes to the tricky work-school-life balance needed as our kids get busy with their new lives. He is an advocate for the child when it comes to figuring out what they need to satisfy their goals.” – Amanda and Chris Shumow
And now for Jesse’s answers to the 10 questions we cooked up for him:
1: You have several academic degrees, which do you find fits you the best and is the most applicable to your life?
Undoubtedly, I’ve mastered the fine art of critical theories.
2: What did you want to be when you grew up?
Peter Fonda in Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry
3: Are you a coffee or a tea guy?
I don’t abide tea-drinkers.
4: Yoga or Pilates?
Aren’t you a yoga teacher? (*No, Jesse, at least not yet!*)
5: If you could tell your younger self anything, what would it be?
Lighten up, boy …and learn French.
6: What is your favorite weather?
Santa Ana winds blowin’ hot from the north….
7: If you were a Muppet, which one would you be?
Hate to admit I’m probably Bert … but I want to be Ernie.
8: Why did you choose to work an adolescent/young adult population?
My surplus of teen angst.
9: Do you have a guilty pleasure?
Shopping with Noelle …but that’s just the tip of a glacier.
10: Why do you choose to work for Visions?
It’s next to Belwood Bakery! … and I wanted to learn from the best staff on earth.
Smiles, yet another designer drug to hit the US seems to be just as deadly as the other synthetic drugs we are more familiar with. According to the DEA, this drug is “a synthetic drug abused for its hallucinogenic effects,” and has “been encountered in a number of states by federal, state, and local law enforcement agencies.” Still, the findings regarding this substance are so preliminary, all we really have to refer to are user stories on YouTube, and that’s not an ideal source. The popularity of drugs like Smiles, K2, Spice, and Bath Salts is partly due to the ease of their availability and their inexpensive price tag. They are easily purchased online, in liquor stores, and particularly in states that haven’t elicited new, prohibitive laws regarding these synthetic drugs. What’s troublesome is these drugs are typically created and recreated faster than the FDA can process requests to ban them. Often times, it’s a sudden increase in ER visits by patients suffering similarly which alerts professionals of a new drug is on the scene.
What is Smiles?
We don’t know much, but we do know that 2C-1 aka Smiles is an amphetamine/hallucinogen whose effects have been compared to a combination of LSD and MDMA. Some even say it’s similar to PCP. 2C-1 (Smiles) was initially popular in Europe, emerging onto their party scene in 2003. Smiles is classified as aphenethylamines—essentially amphetamines but with an additional chemical compound added which change its effects. Instead of the increased heart rate and feeling of speediness so commonly associated with amphetamine use, the effect of 2c-1 is more euphoric and psychedelic, again more in line with that found in psychedelics. Like most of these synthetic drugs, they are commonly manufactured in illegal labs, which make it terribly difficult to regulate.
What population is using Smiles?
The same population that uses this elicit drug is the same one that uses drugs like Ecstasy, Spice, Bath Salts, K2, and other club drugs: high-school and college students and other young adults that frequent party and club settings. Like the others, Smiles is easy to get, cheap, and not always easy to detect in drug tests. Because the evolution of these synthetic drugs is so fast, parents, teachers, mental health and law enforcement professionals may be caught off guard. Awareness is going to be your best defense.
So, what can you do?
Be aware of your young adults’ friends and sudden changes in those social circles.
Do you really know where your kids go when they “hang out”? Sudden secrecy (more than the usual we expect from adolescents) should raise a red flag. Instead of approaching your concern with anger, show concern with an open heart. Try and remember how YOU felt as a teen.
Look into your teens’ eyes: Are the pupils dilated (huge)? Are they pinpoints?
Watch for sudden changes in grades or attendance.
Gather information from viable, legitimate sources (NIDA, DEA)
Get some support for yourself: therapy, support groups, et cetera.
Practice self-care. It’s harder to care for others when you are not taken care of.
These drugs are serious. They are unknown in many ways, and that fact alone makes them deadly. Stay tuned; I’m sure there will be more information to follow. In the meantime, be as transparent as you can be with your kids. Chances are, if they feel emotionally safe enough to confide in you and talk to you in general, they are less likely to hide the important things and travel along a path of self-destruction.
Nich Willard has been with Visions since 2007 and is an incredibly valuable part of the Visions team. Nich brings his wry sense of humor, laid back nature, and sober experience to the clients, making him remarkably relatable and effective in his job. Perhaps it’s because Nich got sober in his teens or the simple fact that he’s a cool cat: either way, the kids adore him. In case some of you don’t know, there was also the moustache period, where Nich had the craziest, coolest moustache; he even went so far as to create an alter ego for it on Facebook. Come to think of it, I think we were FB friends—the moustache and I. That right there is a fine example of wacy, sober fun. Like many of us at Visions, Nich also has a creative talent. He has a film background and is quite the talented filmmaker. You never know, we may have the next Wes Anderson in our midst!
Check out what Nich’s coworkers have to say. He is truly a well-loved member of our team!
“Nich is awesome! Nich is one of my favorite coworkers and hilarious. His seemingly laissez faire approach and sense of humor is so disarming that he is able to make an impact in the most difficult of scenarios.” Roger L’Hereault
“Which Nich? The one without the mustache has an amazing way of being real with the kids, and holding them accountable while showing them how to have fun. The Nich with the mustache is his evil twin…no?” – Katie Mason
“Nich! Thank you for always holding up the couches! Your ability to make us laugh has truly saved our minds over the years! From Tech to iPod guy to meeting timer to recovery mentor to van guy, you always do your job with Visions’ best interest at heart. You are an amazing mentor to the males at Visions, both staff and clients alike. I will miss you when you finally get into your dream job full time! The film world will be lucky to have your energy and commitment that we have been blessed to have over the past years!” – Chris and Amanda Shumow
Last but not least are Nich’s answers to our bevy of questions.
1: What did you want to be when you grew up?
I wanted to be an Astronaut or an actor when I grew up.
2: What is the one thing that never fails to make you laugh?
When dogs scare themselves by sneezing or barking to loud I LOSE it.
3: Favorite meal, the one you can’t live without?
My favorite meal that I cant live without is burgers haha like quimby.
4: What is the best advice you’ve ever received in recovery?
Somebody told me that I never had to be serious about anything except for my recover, and that I could do anything with my life as long as i did the work and could accept the consequences.
5: Your greatest accomplishment?
My greatest accomplishment was realizing that instead of burdening those around me I actually benefited the world around me, that was huge for me.
6: Do you REALLY hate ice cream?
Ice cream is stupid! It’s all a bunch of hype. Ice cream is literally like having a bunch of freezing cold milk ice and salt in your mouth except all mealy. uhg gross…I don’t like cake either most of the time.
7: What do you value most in your friends?
In friends, I value honesty and the ability to laugh at themselves.
8: What do you wish you could do better?
I wish I could remember more. I have a bad short-term memory; this is probably a result of drug use during the developmental stages. Also, I wish I waz a better speller.
9: Morning person or night owl?
I am most definitely a night owl Mornings are RUFF for this guy.
10: Why do you choose to work for Visions?
I work for Visions because helping adolescents find recovery is something that I believe in. I found recovery in an adolescent rehab and it started me on a path that not only gave me something to live for but also led to a great life. The “vision” of Visions is so close to my own that I am proud to be a part of it.
Stepping onto a path of recovery and beginning the removal of toxicity from one’s life is an arduous, often painful, but beautiful process. But I like to believe that some of our greatest lessons come from our difficulties. Those are the times that provide us with the most insight into what is actually going on with us. Take for instance your relationships with others. Is there a pattern? Have you continued to add links to an unhealthy chain be it consciously or subconsciously? Are you happy?
When there is a history of toxicity in one’s life, particularly when it’s introduced at an early age, what is considered “normal” tends to become skewed. For example, someone raised in a home with an abusive parent may inadvertently seek out relationships with similar personality types. This isn’t a conscious act but rather a direct result of being taught how to be in this world through violence (emotional, physical, visual, etc.). It feels familiar and therefore “normal” to be around toxicity. The question is, how do you break the chain? How do you make new, better choices that are healthy and nurturing? How do you place yourself in environments that celebrate you for who you are instead of those that persistently denigrate you?
The 12 steps are a brilliant start. They allow us to begin the process of unpeeling the layers of the onion by asking us to turn our eyes inward and check out what’s going on in our minds and in our hearts. That oft-dreaded fourth step tends to help identify a pattern, particularly if we are honest with ourselves when we write it. Personally, I’ve always liked that process because it feels like I’m stripping the layers of emotional dirt off of me. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s worth it. Frankly, it hurts like hell to look at ourselves and at our lives with a magnifying glass, but dang it, it’s liberating. You just don’t need to carry that stuff around anymore. Twelve-step work is just the start. If it were only that easy, right?
Taking a clinical approach is incredibly beneficial, especially when dealing with trauma, addiction, and mental-health issues. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), to name a few, are invaluable tools to help identify the psychological triggers and hooks we have embedded within us.
But you know what really seals the deal for me? Creating space for Spirituality. I can’t emphasize enough how invaluable it is to develop a spiritual practice. It is the very thing that will feed your soul. No, I’m not selling you religion or a canon of idealized thought. I am, however, urging you to find the calm in your breath, the grounding notion of having your feet planted to the earth, and the healing weight of your hand on your heart. You can break the chain of abuse. You can shut out the tapes that play in your mind, telling you you’re a piece of crap, a failure, not enough, stupid, fat, ugly, useless. You can take your power back. It takes work, but it’s worth all the sweat and tears. Trust me. Be patient. Understand that this process of recovery takes time. Nothing and no one is perfect.
I’ll leave you with this. I was involved in a series of abusive relationships growing up. I was doing the same thing, expecting different results. I eventually discovered I was continuing the pattern of emotional denigration established in my childhood and nurtured in my adolescence. When I finally smashed through that chain several years into my recovery and only after working tirelessly with a therapist, meditation, yoga, 12 steps, I was free. This doesn’t mean the trauma or triggers went away. It means I finally learned to identify them, and have garnered tools to help me respond to them differently. When I met my husband, I quickly discovered he was different. For one thing, he showed me unconditional support, which I hesitated to believe was true. It took me almost two years to accept the fact that I had, in fact, broken that chain and was capable of having relationships that were built on trust and respect. I realized I could believe someone; something this traumatized gal was never able to do. This was proof that I had redefined my “normal” and surrounded myself with a healthy, loving new family. In fact, I redefined my response to the world and its triggers, not just within my family, but also in my life. Ultimately, I took my power back. You can too. You just have to do the work!
Los Angeles outpatient facilities are typically where one goes in order to transition from the intensive setting of being in an inpatient treatment facility to the wide-open world. The outpatient setting is the perfect environment for clients to reintegrate themselves into their new mode of living a life in recovery. On occasion, outpatient can also be the first place one goes to get help when an inpatient facility seems like too much and trying to recover on his or her own has been futile..
At Visions’ Los Angeles outpatient facility, we focus on the entire family, ardently continuing the work that was begun at inpatient. We not only work with the clients but with their families in order to provide a continuum of support. We do this via schooling, team-building activities, therapeutic support, 12-step meetings, and various process groups. We address building and refining communication skills as well as nurturing the spiritual well being of our clients, all of which helps them understand how to be in recovery. We teach our families problem-solving skills, and help them develop new, healthy friendships. We host a variety of alumni and unity events, all of which foster a better relationship to being in recovery. The beauty of these events is, they naturally build community among the clients, showing them that they have sober support and a recovery community. Additionally, we encourage relationships with 12-step sponsors and participation in 12-step meetings, which inspires clients to be active participants in the continuum of their recovery.
In addition to our Intensive Outpatient program, we also have Launch, which is a wonderful Los Angeles outpatient program geared toward young adults transitioning out of adolescence and into adulthood. Launch is a life-skills program focusing on vocational, educational, and social skills.
Outpatient provides an amazing opportunity for our families: it’s the stepping stone between being in the controlled environment of a facility and interacting with the world at large but with the helping hand of a skilled support team. Entering recovery is frightening. It’s new, different, and at times overwhelming, but nothing is impossible when you have a support team guiding you along.
Susan O’Conner, aka The Art Lady, has been with Visions since the very beginning. She is literally part of the foundational framework of our residential and outpatient facilities. Susan is also the creator of Art as a Language—a means of using art to “tap the unconscious, release blocked emotions, face vulnerabilities, and acknowledge addictions.” Using art in this way allows our teens to viscerally and tangibly access the underbelly of their emotions in a way that is healing and liberating. Susan is all heart: she is creative and kind, of service, and full of healing energy. Susan is lovingly known as the Art Lady in many recovery environments, having worked in recovery for a decade. Her signature paint-splattered overalls are an indelible symbol of love and heart. We are beyond blessed to have Susan in our midst.The staff completely agrees:
“What an original and special gift Susan brings to Visions. You can see this whenever she arrives at our facilities, as the kids all yell out excitedly, “ART LADY!” She has such an amazing ability to bring out the unconscious creative faculties of the clients, allowing them expression of difficult and otherwise unreachable emotions. She clearly cares about our clients and helping them on their journey of healing. To see Susan in action is to see love itself at work. We are lucky to have her in our Visions family.” – Joseph Rogers
“Art lady: Charisma, charm and creativity sum her up!” – Heather Colligan
“You could never run out of things to say about Susan the “Art Lady.” Susan brings creativity to Wednesday nights and truly adds so much to our program. The clients love working with her and she spreads positivity whenever she is here. In addition to taking care of the kids’ creative voices, she is in tune with the staff’s need to also express ourselves; she often hosts workshops just for us! These past 10 years working with Susan have truly been a gift. Thanks, Susan!” – Chris and Amanda Shumow
There’s more! Read on for Susan’s answers to our questions. She never ceases to amaze, really:
1: What is your favorite artistic medium?
It changes quite regularly. Some favorites are collage – paper and
fabric, painting with acrylics, painting with gouache, clay people,
and printmaking, to name a few. Right now it is small clay people in
all sorts of different positions (mostly making social or political
statements) that I quietly put out on the streets, wall, stop signs…
and?
2: Were you always encouraged to follow your artistic path?
Some, but it never mattered. Even as a small child, I drew all my
feelings. I am good at science too – and I like it, so those that
wanted me to get a “real job” thought I should go in that direction.
Needless to say…
3: Where do you go for peace and quiet?
My garden… I sit by my herbs in my garden with any kind of art supply.
So easy to be calm and creative with lavender, rosemary, lemon balm
and basil filling the air. The birds like it when I am out there too.
4: You work with adolescents as well as adults, how are they different in terms of their application of artistic expression?
Adolescents are much more available and still have a bit of hope. My goal is to let them experience the language of color and shape and possibility. Besides, I really like teens. They may be angry but have not yet turned to adult bitterness. Adults require more sensitivity in getting out of their perceived safe heads that are cemented in denial. Most have been addicts for a long time.
They are both fragile groups of people and require a tender solution-oriented touch. Art never lies, so it cracks open even the toughest egg and that can be frightening. My hope is that this new way of expression will help them access the deep profound words that have eluded them for so long.
5: If you were stranded on an island, who or what would you want as company?
My stone-carver husband, our children and grandchildren, lots of art
supplies, a few musical instruments oh, and I guess a way to grow
food.
6: What would you do if you ever stopped painting and drawing?
I would die.
7: Where do you feel most at home?
My studio in the little retro trailer we call home – and always with
recovering addicts.
8: What makes you laugh out loud?
My funny husband and very funny grandkids… they are my life’s blood.
9: Spring, Summer, Autumn, or Winter?
I actually love all the colors, smells and feelings of all the different seasons. If I have to pick one, it is Fall. My babies were born in October and I travel back to those times every year. I also got clean and sober in October. A very special month.
10: Why do you choose to work for Visions?
I remain honored to have worked for Visions since the beginning. Their philosophy of treating the adolescents with dignity, in turn teaches the kids self respect and respect for others. They are Twelve Step Program oriented. I truly enjoy all these young people, and
their funny humor and crazy music. I am amazed at the openness and willingness they have to understand that Art is truly a Language. Additionally, I think the staff is a committed, supportive, kind group of people that work very hard at understanding the teen mind.
On Friday, September 28, we had the honor of co-hosting a Behavioral Health Educational Seminar, addressing Treatment Resistant Mood Disorders, and BiPolar Disorders. We co-hosted the seminar with Austen Riggs and PCH Treatment at the beautiful Victorian in Santa Monica, California.
Eric Plakun, MD, DFAPA, FACPsych and Director of Admissions and Public Relations at Austen Riggs Center spoke about A Psychodynamic Approach to Treatment Resistant Mood Disorders.
David J. Miklowitz, PhD, Professor of Psychiatry in the Divisions of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at the UCLA Semel Institute and the Bipolar Treatment Consultant at PCH Treatment Center spoke about Bipolar Disorder: Current Thinking About Diagnosis and Treatment. Dr. Miklowitz is also a Senior Clinical Research Fellow in the Department of Psychiatry at Oxford University.
These informational seminars are a wonderful way to build upon one’s education, building upon the ever-changing information surrounding mental health care. Things will change with the new DSM-V slated to come out in the next year. We are incredibly fortunate to have so many knowledgable professionals in our midst.
Check out a few photos from the event. I must say, aside from incredible information from the speakers, the food was out of this world.
