One of the greatest gifts of recovery is having learned the many ways in which we can care for ourselves. We typically come to recovery via hard emotional and/or physical bottoms. In other words, we have often lost our asses in the process of trying to stay afloat. So, when we get to a place where we are being taken care of, we soon discover we are also learning to take care of ourselves.
When holidays are bestowed upon us, there is a great opportunity to invoke a sense of self-care. In the past, holidays often meant alcohol-filled parties or BBQs filled with some sense of debauchery or another. With the air of recovery about you, better choices are possible. This isn’t to say that gain perfect judgment—we don’t. We are human, after all. But the chances of us doing something good for ourselves are much higher than they used to be.
Overwhelmed by this? Try one or some of these things to give yourself pause:
Take 10 deep breaths.
Try one of my favorite calming techniques: Breathe in for the count of 5, breathe out for the count of 6. Do this 10 times! If you can, increase the #s, always making the outbreath longer. It naturally calms the mind and resets the nervous system.
Get outside! (We tend to deprive ourselves of good ol’ Vitamin N-ature!)
1. a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength;
2. the action or process of regaining possession or control of something stolen or lost.
This Statue of Shiva (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
When we begin the process of recovery from various addictions, some may be surprised to find there are a number of approaches to recovery. This is promising. It means recovery isn’t one-size-fits-all, and it means there is hope for those who may be having some difficulties finding their way. While some of us may solely lean on the 12 steps to create a foundation in recovery, others find they can also lean on the Eastern practices of yoga and meditation. The latter two provide a unique path for practitioners to compassionately look at themselves and develop the means to create a healing “space” within the mind and body. In this way, yoga and meditation encourage an internal healing, and ultimately nurture our minds and bodies toward a spiritual and physical recovery. These modalities cultivate recovery by using a most practical tool: the breath. “Our breath is portable,” says Sharon Salzberg, a renowned meditation teacher. No one can see it, touch it, or take it away from you. It is simple, yet powerful in its silence.
When we engage in our addictive behaviors, we disconnect from ourselves and from our bodies: I remember distinctly using so I didn’t have to feel. I sought to desensitize my mind, body and soul by means of drugs, alcohol, starvation and self-harming. In sobriety, this behavior often continued with the transference of addictive behaviors, proving that the desire to nullify emotions or sensations is sometimes stronger than the desire to face them. Here’s where things like yoga and meditation are remarkable. They gently encourage you to come back to the present; to face the shadows; to embrace the often difficult process of recovery. This doesn’t mean you can or should ignore the 12 steps. Rather, yoga and meditation are what allow you to take the foundation you create with the steps to a deeper place. In this way, yoga and meditation facilitate our innate ability to undo the physical erosion created by our addictions.
I recently took a class with Seane Corn called “Yoga for a Broken Heart.” For an hour and a half, she addressed the physical manifestations of grief, compassionately leading us through the process of creating a healing space within our bodies with movement and breath. At one point, she said, “You can’t have light without the shadows.” How apropos for the recovering mind! It reminded me that none of us come into recovery without demons or shadows. We all have them, and we probably had them while we were using. In fact, how many of us used because of them? I know I did. Frankly, the sheer thought of turning to face them was abhorrent to me, and in the beginning, I did it with so much resistance, the shadows sometimes won. Truth be told, we come into recovery with an unspoken need to grieve. Modalities like yoga and meditation show us a way to create the space in our bodies to face that grief with compassion instead of anger and fear. Think of it this way: when we use, we disallow the grieving process by blocking it with “stuff.” Imagine what would happen if we gently removed that extraneous stuff and began to let it go. We can do that with these practices. We can allow what is to just be and we can let go of the things that are holding us back.
With yoga, we are graced with a set period of time where our breath takes precedence. We are afforded the opportunity to let go of the competitive mind and face the very thing we’ve been avoiding: ourselves. As we cultivate this space, we learn to give ourselves the love and attention we sought with our addictive behaviors. We begin to practice the art of forgiveness and become compassionate toward ourselves. We ultimately learn to find comfort in our skin, in our bodies, and in our minds. Through this process, we can and will find light in the shadows.
According to a recent study by Michigan State Researchers, the “Peak risk for misusing prescription pain relievers occurs in mid-adolescence, specifically about 16 years old and earlier than many experts thought.” (Science Daily)
It’s always been assumed that drug and alcohol use starts in the latter years of adolescence, and while that may be the average, by the time some of these kids hit high school, preventative measures may be too late. This study is suggesting that preventative programs be introduced much earlier than in current practice. I echo this sentiment and am a huge proponent of early preventative measures. How early? As soon as the questions start coming up. You can make a difference at home too:
Tell your child in a general way what drugs are and how they can negatively impact their life.
Teach the value and power of saying “No” and walking away from people or situations where drugs are involved.
Store your medications responsibly: Behind lock and key if necessary.
Model good behavior: if you are stressed, take a deep breath instead of a drink or a pill. Your kids learn from you first.
Transparency: If you are in recovery, and your kids ask you a question about your history, answer them within reason.
Know who your kids’ friends are and who their parents are.
Stay in tune with current events and trends.
Be social media savvy so you can understand the temperature of this generation.
If you discover drugs or alcohol on your child, use it as a doorway to create dialogue. If you find that the drug use is more of a pattern, please get some help.
There are definitely organizations that teach preparedness and prevention, but the first teachers our kids ever have is us. Showing our kids we’re there for them may be the best preventative measure of all.
For the last 9 years, Heather Colligan has championed the cause for healing and recovery for teens and families alike. Her commitment and dedication to the families that cross her path is truly remarkable. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard from alumni how invaluable Heather was in their lives while they were in treatment. One of the things that has always impressed me about Heather is her ability to remain soft in her approach while maintaining firmness in her convictions–she demonstrates what I like to call “fierce compassion.” Heather is held in high regard by both clients and staff alike; she is proof that bringing heartfulness to the table when working with teens and their families is both an art and a gift. We are extremely fortunate to have her on our team and as part of the Visions family.
The staff really had some inspiring things to say:
“Heather puts her heart and soul into her work. She is one of the most caring and dedicated people I’ve ever known, and Visions is lucky to have her.” Patrick Schettler
“It is hard to imagine Visions without her…so I won’t. What a composed professional and cool operator while in the thick of it. I remember being blown away the first time I sat in with her during an intense session. Never had I seen someone with so much compassion and clarity of purpose in tandem. She has the ability to show true kindness, navigate road blocks to therapeutic growth while remaining detached yet invested. What a tenacious advocate these kids have had in her over these many years.” Roger L’Hereault
“Heather is wonderful. Watching her work with our kids is great because she knows how to draw them out and make them realize what they are capable of. Even on her craziest and busiest days, Heather manages to keep it together and keep the Latigo house going. Heather is the foundation and heartbeat of Latigo.” Lianne Domingo
“I have known Heather since she arrived at Visions. Always positive and quite funny, she has this delightful ability to laugh at her own foibles. This amazing quality continually helps me as well as the clients to release us from the unrealistic expectation monsters we impose on ourselves; Quite a gift!
Anyone that is around Heather recognizes her love of the color purple. Any art she has done with me is full of wonderful shades of lavender, lilac, purple and plum. Purple is also the color of good judgment. It is the color of people seeking spiritual fulfillment. It is said if you surround yourself with purple you will have peace of mind. And, she is aptly named, as Heather is a purple-flowered plant that grows abundantly on the Scottish moors. It is beautiful and very tenacious – definitely two of Heather’s qualities. Thank you, Heather, for your amazing gifts! They have influenced us all.” — Susan “The Art Lady” O’Connor
And of course, Heather couldn’t escape our list of curious questions:
1. What inspired you to work with adolescents?
I taught high school for years and I loved the teens, but many of them had other issues impacting their schooling, so I decided to get my next degree in counseling, so I could help in a different way.
2. Cloth or disposable?
Disposable of course!
3. What’s your ideal vacation spot?
Ski trip to Switzerland. Used to take school trips there as a kid. I loved it.
4. Funniest craving when you were carrying your son?
None, actually.
5. Guilty TV pleasure?
Revenge.
6. Optimist, Pessimist, or Realist?
Realist.
7. Anna Freud, Erik Erikson, or Jean Piaget?
All
8. Has becoming a parent changed your worldview?
Yes, I am even more aware that harmony is needed.
9. If you were a Muppet, who would you be?
Kermit.
10. Why do you choose to work for Visions?
I really enjoy seeing people change their lives and feel honored that families let me accompany them on their journey.
Jennifer Garrett, better known as Jen G. around these parts, is one of our amazing success stories. A Visions alumni, she decided to come back and join the ranks as a Visions’ program aide in 2010. She endured the night shift, transitioned to the much sought after day shift and eventually became a Recovery Mentor. Jen is a remarkably strong individual, and her dedication to the clients and her co-workers is palpable. As Amanda says, Jen is the “quiet storm” at Visions—she’s remarkably shy and keeps to herself, but her dedication and strength speaks for itself. With the recent opening of NeXt—our Adolescent Extended Care program, Jen was the ideal candidate to be promoted to NeXt Manager. We are beyond grateful to have Jen here at Visions, and are fortunate to have someone of her caliber on our team.
Check out what the staff had to say!!
“I remember working with Jen when she first came to us as a resident. Jen was on point, really wanted to do the deal, and very much wanted to have a better life for herself. I was thrilled when she got time under her belt and came back to work with us at Visions. Some of Jen’s best qualities include her ability to roll with the punches, her ability to lead others, her insight, and her strength. Jen is an amazing example of a woman in sobriety and I am so proud to count her as a peer and friend.” – Lianne Domingo
“She’s a quiet force at Visions…always reliable.” Christina Howard
“She is committed, loyal and has an incredible work ethic. She maintains composure during crisis and she’s solution oriented. She maintains gratitude and fortitude in her endeavors.” – Fiona Ray
“Jen is an alumni of Visions who came back to give back to the clients. She is a role model for the clients, and a steady example of a woman in recovery. After working as a program aide, she moved up to help open and run the extended care facility. Always conscientious, Jen makes sure that the clients know they are cared for. Thanks, Jen, for a great few years! We are proud to have you as part of the team.” – Amanda and Chris Shumow
Check out Jen’s illustrious answers to our curious questions:
I choose to work for Visions because it is rewarding not only for myself but for many others as well. Although some days can be difficult and met with resistance, the days you get to see the light come on in others’ eyes as it did for myself is so worth it. I have fun at work and love what I do. Not to mention, I love everyone on the team and appreciate all the hard work everyone does to make Visions the best environment to work in.
