Month: February 2012

Categories
Body Image Eating Disorders Mental Health

Eating Disorders: They Happen to Boys Too

He was 12 and his social circle was made up primarily of girls. It always had been. Sports weren’t of interest, and neither was the usual competitive atmosphere of boyhood. Frankly, William was a boy who’d rather draw, or ride his bike, or bake with his mom. When his girl-friends began the fat-talk, he thought it was ridiculous, but in truth, he began to silently take it all in. He started to look at himself and wonder if maybe he, too, was fat. William, being on the outskirts of male culture, found himself being seduced by the culture of thinness. While his male friends (yes, he had those too) began bulking up from sports and the like, he began to get thinner and thinner. All of a sudden, he found himself controlled by the demon we all know as ED.

Jonas was 14, a football hero in the making, but not nearly as “built” as some of his pals. Determined to get the much sought after V shape idealized by fitness magazines and late-night televisions ads, he started an exercise regimen which soon became obsessive and excessive. It wasn’t an issue of not being thin enough for Jonas. Instead, the issue was being fit enough. Before he knew it, his focus was entirely spent on attaining this idealized body type–one that didn’t quite fit into his genes: Jonas was a short, stocky kid with short, stocky parents. Still, ED wormed its way into Jonas’ life as well, albeit in a different form.

In Brave Girl Eating, Harriet Brown talks about the eating disorder as a demon. She describes the personality change that occurs when the Eating Disorder (ED) is speaking with its loud ferocity. The provocative noise is terrifying in the mind of the one suffering, but sadly, it’s often drowned out by the disease itself. In truth, ED nullifies ones real sense of self and replaces it with an unrealistic desire for perfection and control. One thing that shows up repeatedly with an eating disorder is this desire for perfection, which shows up in school as good grades, in sports as high-scorers, in Girl Scouts as top sellers. Eating disorders are often about gaining control when something in one’s life feels definitively out of control.

We are used to talking about girls when we talk about eating disorders, as though we assume boys are unaffected. But they are, and those numbers are increasing. Unfortunately, eating disorders can carry the stigma of being something women suffer from–This invites a higher probability of men and boys not asking for help. Recently, MSNBC highlighted three young men whose lives had been heavily impacted by eating disorders. One of the young men lost his life after an 8-year battle with anorexia. He just wanted a six-pack.

More than a million boys and men battle an eating disorder every day and “approximately 10% of eating disordered individuals coming to the attention of mental health professionals are male.” (National Eating Disorder Association).  The culture of “thin” is not only negatively impacting girls and women, but it’s begun to surreptitiously spin its nasty web in male culture. Advertizing aimed at women and girls suggests dieting and weight loss while ads geared toward men encourage fitness, weight-lifting, and muscle toning, so it makes sense that the female population is starving themselves or fat-talking their way out of life. But men and boys are suffering too, and they need a safe place to ask for help. Eating disorders are frightening, and not just for those watching the demise of someone they love. Being in it and listening to that voice of doom is terrifying. Getting help shouldn’t be another hurdle to climb.

For more information on Eating Disorders:

National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA)

National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders

National Association for Males with Eating Disorders

International Association of Eating Disorders Professionals

Eating Disorders Coalition

Families Empowered and Supporting Treatment of Eating Disorders

Eating Disorders Resource Center

Fact Sheet (NEDA) What’s Going On With Me?

Study: The Prevalence and Correlates of Eating Disorders in the National Comorbidity Survey Replication

 

Categories
ADHD Mental Health Recovery

ADHD: More Than Statistics

Image via Wikipedia

There’s no doubt there’s an ADHD epidemic. It’s the diagnosis most often handed out when a child is struggling in school with fidgets, a short attention span, hyperactivity, et al.  Typically prompted by a complaint from a frustrated teacher, parents are lead to take the first step toward finding a behavioral solution.  A visit to the pediatrician will include having parents and teacher separately fill out a questionnaire. The questions tend to be specific and general–all at the same time.  On occasion, the answers fall in line with one another, but sometimes, they do not. In fact, at times, a child will present one way at school and another at home. For example, where the parents’ answers may not indicate the inability to focus, fidgeting or any other emotional anomalies common with ADHD, the teacher’s findings may say otherwise. Theirs may indicate negative, disruptive behaviors present, which are impacting the classroom dynamic. Because ADHD is a real illness and one that debilitates those who have it and creates challenges for those directly effected by it, there needs to be care and diligence when diagnosing it. Is the teacher overreacting? Are the parents not being entirely honest with themselves? Is it a little of both? It takes a skilled mental health practitioner and patience to sort that out.

Keep in mind, some behavioral challenges may be as simple as a child not being mature enough to “handle” the expectations thrust upon them by a numbers-driven educational system or by the institution of school itself.  Or it may be the prevalent learning style isn’t compatible with your child—some kids are tactile learners, others are visual, and others can memorize with ease. Learning isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience.

Regardless, ADHD continues to be a widespread diagnostic phenomenon. According to the CDC, “The American Psychiatric Association states in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR) that 3%-7% of school-aged children have ADHD.  However, studies have estimated higher rates in community samples.”  This statistic is just for the United States alone.

Recent data from parents, which was also gathered by the CDC shows:

  • Rates of ADHD diagnosis increased an average of 3% per year from 1997 to 2006 and an average of 5.5% per year from 2003 to 2007.
  • Boys (13.2%) were more likely than girls (5.6%) to have ever been diagnosed with ADHD.
  • As of 2007, parents of 2.7 million youth ages 4-17 years (66.3% of those with a current diagnosis) report that their child was receiving medication treatment for the disorder.
  • Rates of medication treatment for ADHD varied by age and sex; children aged 11-17 years of age were more likely than those 4-10 years of age to take medication, and boys are 2.8 times more likely to take medication than girls.

Read here for a more extensive listing of statistics.

While there are legitimate diagnoses of ADHD, a question of misdiagnosis has arisen. According to new research by Todd Elder, a Michigan State economist, “approximately 1 million children in the U.S. are potentially misdiagnosed with ADHD.” His argument brings up the issue of giftedness and behavioral issues having resulted in a misdiagnosis of ADHD. Are they valid? We’ll see as I explore this idea in another blog. In the meantime, if you suspect your child is having difficulties, get them help. There is far more internal stigma that occurs when a child is struggling with an untreated mental health issue than the stigma that may occur with the diagnosis itself. It’s up to us as parents, teachers, caregivers, therapists, and counselors to see to it that the youth of our future have their needs met in the way that best benefits them.

When we are able to manage our symptoms, we have a better chance of getting to the root of the cause.

Categories
Anniversary Blogs Service Treatment

Joseph Rogers: Educational Director at Visions Day School

It was January, 2005 when Joseph Rogers joined the Visions crew. He started out as a tech but soon moved on to exercise his teaching and psychology degrees as the Educational Director at our Outpatient Day School. Since then, he has created an environment of trust and care within the classroom. Joseph has also created a wonderful space for nurturing spirituality, as he’s lead a weekly meditation group for the several years. In many ways, Joseph has become the gardener of spirituality and compassion amongst those that are under his tutelage. Many an alumni make efforts to come back for visits and to ask him for advice or direction when they encounter difficulties, and regardless of circumstance, he greets them with an open heart.

Joseph is currently pursuing his Masters in Divinity at the University of the West. He has long been pulled toward teaching the practice of meditation and becoming a chaplain will allow him to reach more people struggling with addiction and mental health from the spiritual perspective. It’s exciting to know that we’ll have a chaplain in our midst.

The Visions team genuinely adores Joseph. This really became apparent to me when I began to receive comments about him from some of his colleagues. What I received was amazing and heartfelt. We are truly lucky to have Joseph Rogers in our midst:

Fiona A. Ray, our Director of Outpatient and Aftercare Services had this to say, “Joseph’s approach to instilling academic esteem with his students is unparalleled and refreshing.  He brings creative innovation to the learning process and continues to develop new methods to address various learning styles.  It is an honor and a privilege to work in tandem with someone who inspires both his students and co-workers.

Daniel Dewey, our Teacher/Residential Director of Education, aptly quotes the Buddha when he thinks of Joseph, “His work is to discover his work and then with all of his heart give himself to it.”

John Lieberman, our Director of Operations, says, “I believe that Joseph is the perfect man to teach out kids. Joseph is a combination of edge, gentle, fun and calm. I would want Joseph to be my teacher.”

And Amanda Shumow, our fearless leader and one of our Founders really says it all: “Joseph truly exemplifies what it is Visions sets out to do as a company. He takes care of the students with compassion and efficiency and shows them they can be successes in this world with the right support. As an educator, Joseph finds the best way for a child to learn and then meets their needs as opposed to teaching with a “one size fits all” approach. Joseph is also a trained meditation instructor and helps to bring mindfulness to all of us. He is without a doubt, one of Visions’ best!”

Hear what Joseph had to say when we asked him a few, erm, pointed questions:

1.  What is the name of your favorite book?

“Tropic of Cancer” by Henry Miller

2.  What would you prefer to vacation next to … River, Ocean or Lake?

Definitely the ocean, fewer bugs that way. And I’ve never been to a tropical   island.

3.  Favorite food as a kid?

Escargot. True story.

4.  You can only bring 3 items with you to an island for 5 years…what are your 3 items?

A boat. A tent. My wife.

5.  Who’s a better Super Hero…Superman or Batman?

Spiderman: He’s the “everyman,” the superhero with problems. I don’t like            nationalism or revenge as motives.

6.  Have you ever been Skydiving?

Yes, I like to jump out of high places. My dad took me for my 21st birthday. He is    afraid of heights.

7.  Favorite dish your wife makes?

Apple cobbler on the 4th of July with fresh apples from our tree.

8.  If Kermit the Frog came to you for advice about what to buy Miss Piggy for her     Birthday what would you tell him?

I miss Jim Henson.

9.  Ice Cream or Pinkberry?

Life is short. Ice cream.

10.  Why do you choose to work for Visions?

The free trip to a tropical island for seven years of service. It helps that I love what I do, too.

Categories
Addiction Mental Health Recovery

Are We Quicker to Judge Than We Are to Love?

Whitney Houston - Concert in Central Park / Good Morning America 2009 - Manhattan NYC (Photo credit: asterix611)

I wasn’t planning on writing about the death of Whitney Houston, because I try not to saddle up to the hyperbole surrounding celebrity and their downfalls. However, as news of her death began to unfold, what I noticed wasn’t kindness or compassion in the public’s reaction and commentary, but an uncensored, callous backlash referencing her addiction. Mind you, the cause of her death is purely speculative at this point–the negative comments began without evidence of an overdose or confirmation from the medical examiner. Makes me wonder, would this commentary be the same if she’d had cancer? I don’t think so. Why? Because cancer is a disease without stigma.

 
Addiction is just that: a disease. When we talk about diseases, we talk about things we can understand: cancer, diabetes, heart disease, and so on. But when addiction is spoken of, it’s often considered a poor choice someone is making. No one consciously chooses to become an addict. Addiction is a disease, just like any other, but unfortunately, it comes with the stigma of oft-repeated failures and sullied reputations.

 
What I’m talking about isn’t really Whitney Houston and the tragedy of her death, but about addiction and recovery and all of the mixed-up perceptions that come along with it. Can we, with all of our amends and life changes recreate our image in the public sphere? What about the private sphere?  Or will we always remain the person who “can’t make a good choice.” In cases like this, it would appear that no matter what we do in our recovery, no matter how long we stay clean and sober, if something goes wrong, drugs and alcohol are the first accusations that come to mind. But I call foul, because I know far too many people with long-term recovery who have turned their lives around and become outstanding, respectable human beings.

 
Addiction doesn’t give a hoot if you’re rich, poor, famous, infamous, fat, thin, talented, ugly or beautiful; all it cares about is sinking its hooks into you. Where addiction differs from other diseases is in its effect on those who come in contact with it: families, friends, classmates, teachers, fans, or the cat pouring your coffee at Starbucks. There’s no doubt it’s a selfish disease, but it still requires compassion and kindness. When I first got sober, I was a bit screwball—my sober big brother loves to tell people I was feral—but ultimately, the thing that kept me coming back wasn’t judgment, it was kindness. When I heard “Let us love you until you can learn to love yourself,” I thought it was hokey. But you know what? It worked a hell of a lot better than damnation and shame.

 
So, whatever took Whitney, be it drugs or some anomaly with her health, perhaps we should honor her for the woman and legend she was rather than berate her with misunderstood perceptions of a disease. Reverend Al Sharpton echoed this sentiment when he said, “Don’t remember the rumors. Remember the voice God gave this lady and she gave that voice to the world. (She) was an international icon. Whatever she did was on the front page. Don’t delve in the mess. All of us have some mess.”

 

Remember, though our past may have influenced the way we see the world, it does not define us unless we allow it to do so. In recovery, we do have a choice: we can choose how we interact with the world and how we engage in the present.

 

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Love this from Voice in Recovery: Whitney Houston’s Death and Addiction Stigma 

 

Categories
Mental Health Recovery Self-Care

Beware: Ridiculousness May Lead to ROFLMAO

Image via Wikipedia

Osho said, “You cannot live without laughter.” He has a wonderful point! When I got sober, it wasn’t the war stories that hooked me but the echoes of laughter in those dungy, smoky meeting halls. For one thing, there were others there who could relate to the mistakes I made and my subsequent suffering. It was there that I discovered my ability to laugh, not at others, but at situations and circumstances otherwise too dark to face. Ultimately, this is what initially gave me permission to begin the letting-go process regarding my shame and fear.

So, a funny thing happens when we introduce something like a laughing practice or laughing meditation in a recovery setting. Initially, it might be awkward for some of us to laugh for no real reason, but then a transformation happens: the laughter becomes genuine laughter, and the tension held within our bodies begins to unravel. Try it: laugh. You can laugh about the ridiculousness of laughing. At some point, the inevitable will occur: the guise of false perception will melt down, and along with the side cramp, you might find you are able to let go of what you think you “should be” and come to find solace in who you are.

According to Osho, there are three kinds of laughter: the first is laughing at others. This type of laughter is inherently unkind and unhelpful, yet also the most common in human behavior. The second is when laughing at ourselves; this type of laughter is definitely something to strive for. It’s not only beneficial but it really helps us lighten up a bit. The third type of laughter is when we laugh–not at others or ourselves, as outlined in the first and second types–but just to laugh. I imagine this type of laughter to be the most freeing of all. I have always been guilty of two things: seriousness and ironically, spontaneous and unfettered bursts of laughter. I rather prefer the latter: it’s proof that laughter allows us to soften and simultaneously open up enough to finally begin to take the world less personally.

Don’t forget,  Rule #62 in the 12×12 says, “Don’t take yourself too damn seriously.”

Categories
Mental Health Recovery Self-Care

Pursuing Happiness: Is Your Glass Half Full?

Sometimes I think attitude really is everything. I mean, if we walk into a room with a sour face and a negative attitude, then we are bound to gather the attention of our fellow sourpusses and their pals. These sorts of things act much like Velcro, fastening together similar minds and ensuring an acidic atmosphere remains intact. This trait, in its sheer nature, is not beneficial–to anyone. Yet, despite the knowledge that a change in attitude can purportedly change the outcome of a situation, it’s not always easy to do.

Enter the burgeoning practice of Positive Psychology: According to the University of Pennsylvania, “Positive psychology has three central concerns: positive emotions, positive individual traits, and positive institutions. Understanding positive emotions entails the study of contentment with the past, happiness in the present, and hope for the future.” At the core of positive psychology is a desire to encourage individuals to enhance their strengths in order to be their best selves. This differs from the psychology we are most familiar with, which aims to discover and treat dysfunction. In contrast, this relatively new field of positive psychology places its focus on helping people lead happier, more fulfilling lives. Both of these pathologies are important: when there’s dysfunction, we need to learn how to care for it, which leads to healing. At the same time, we must also learn to acknowledge our strengths so we can expand on them and live more joyfully. Lest we forget, our reactions to pleasant and unpleasant things are a direct result of our experiences; therefore, it’s not uncommon to get lost in the past, disabling one’s ability to thrive in the present.

This is where positive psychology gives us the opportunity to expand on our optimism in a potentially pessimistic, emotional environment. Part of gaining a positive mental attitude is realizing we are not our circumstances. Instead, we soon discover that we can hold those very predicaments with care and intention without getting lost in our feelings about them. Wayne Dyer says, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” What a wonderful opportunity to begin to skillfully govern our difficulties! At the same time, this doesn’t mean we should be positive by being insincere or pretending to be happy about something we actually find disdainful or troubling. In other words, you don’t have to eat a crap sandwich and pretend you like it. If anything, this is a chance to garnish it with something you do like, including not having that sandwich at all.

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Inspired by this: Shawn Achor: The Happy Secret to Better Work

Interesting articles and info about Positive Psychology:

Claremont Graduate University

Mental Health News

Pursuit of Happiness

Categories
Mental Health Recovery Self-Care

Self-Care = Kindness

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“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” Isn’t that how the saying goes? Well, what if you suffer from alcoholism or addiction, or a mental illness, and the thought of self-care never even enters your mind? What if a bowl full of lemons merely represents the puckered, sour taste of your life?

While performing acts of self-care is a learned trait, it’s invaluable once you integrate the practice into your life. I think of the instructions you’re given in an airplane in case of an emergency: “Secure your own mask first before helping others.” Because we can’t always control our environments or the stressors that come and go in our lives, it’s important to have a means of caring for ourselves so we don’t get “knocked over” by life itself. Essentially, if we don’t learn to care for ourselves and ensure our well-being, we become bereft in our abilities to care for others.

You can start small, but I encourage you to start. Pick one or maybe two of these and see how it makes you feel!

  • Make sure you’re getting enough sleep. Sleep deprivation has a slew of negative side effects, including: irritability, reduction in alertness, memory problems, daytime drowsiness, stress and anxiety.
  • Don’t skip meals. Skipping meals adds stress to the body and increases irritability and moodiness.
  • Exercise. Go for a hike, take a walk, do some yoga, go surfing, et cetera. Moving your body raises endorphins and lifts your mood!
  • Read a book or watch a funny movie.  Sometimes taking a mental break and doing something purely entertaining is a great way to take care of ourselves.
  • Do one thing at a time. Yes, this might mean putting the kibosh on multi-tasking! The irony is, you’ll probably get more done.
  • Find a way to “do nothing” for 10 minutes…everyday. It’s a recharge for the brain. Seriously. Yes, that may mean logging off of Facebook for 10 min so you can take some deep breaths. I promise, you won’t actually miss anything.
  • Ask for help if you need it. I honestly think this is the hardest and yet most valuable component of self care. We can’t recover on our own, not from addiction, alcoholism, or mental illness.

As we begin to invest time in ourselves and create space for nurturing and self care, we fortify our hearts. Being able to recognize our needs is paramount in recovery. It’s not selfish to take care of ourselves; it’s an act of kindness.

When in doubt, remember this: “You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” (Buddha)

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