Categories
Education Recovery

School: Getting Back in the Groove

Even without addiction issues, going back to school can be a bear. Going from middle school to high school is a huge shift, but more often than not, you’re not away from home. However, the shift from high school to college can be huge, especially if going to college means living on your own. All of a sudden the safety of any parental input (no matter how annoying it may be) is gone–trust me when I say this, you’ll eventually miss the family dinners you fought so hard to get out of.
There are a few things to keep in mind when going back to school, particularly when most schools and colleges are starting and our nerves are shaking. If we’re newly sober, then the heat is really on, particularly when we’re going back to our old stomping grounds.
  • Stay connected with your sponsor and others in sobriety. 
  • Set firm boundaries with old friends that may be weary of the new you. If they want you to “hang out” like you used to before you “went away,” say no. Real friends won’t try to drag you down. 
  • Maintain open communication, not only with your sponsor and friends, but with your parents and therapists as well. Recovery is a net: if you weave a wide enough web, you are more apt to create an environment of emotional and physical safety. 
  • Develop a healthy exercise program. Sometimes, a good run or a long bike ride can clear a muddled mind. This is a great area to create a buddy system. If you don’t do it one day, you didn’t fail! 
  • Make realistic goals. You don’t have to do everything at once. 
  • Remember to be kind to your body: just because you’re sober doesn’t mean you can start poisoning your system with junk food. 
  • HALT: never get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired 
  • Show up no matter what. You’re not only showing up for others, you’re showing up for yourself and your sobriety.
The reality is, school can be frightening: the newness, the change, and the idea of venturing into the unknown. Taking things one breathe at a time is key to survival. Sleep is your friend, cry if you need to, and ask for help. Everything is going to be okay!Resources:
Angels at Risk
Categories
Addiction

Addiction: Definition Makeover

Image by iPocrates via Flickr

News of the the American Society of Addiction Medicine’s (ASAM) new definition of “addiction” has taken the recovery world by storm. Some are calling it radical because they suggest the new definition essentially invalidates many common perceptions regarding what addiction means to recovering addicts. Critics also suggest this new meaning deflates the common belief that mental health issues, like mood or personality disorders could be the underlying cause of one’s addiction. In other words, self-medicating to treat an anxiety or a mood disorder is not an inherently addictive behavior according to this new definition. It’s definitely a sticky subject, and not one many recovering addicts want to try to wrap their minds around. Change is difficult for many of us, but change that could belie one’s own personal identification with their addiction and their recovery could be frightening.

The ASAM’s new definition states:

“Addiction is a primary, chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory and related
circuitry. Dysfunction in these circuits leads to characteristic biological, psychological,
social and spiritual manifestations. This is reflected in an individual pathologically

pursuing reward and/or relief by substance use and other behaviors.

Addiction is characterized by inability to consistently abstain, impairment in behavioral
control, craving, diminished recognition of significant problems with one’s behaviors and
interpersonal relationships, and a dysfunctional emotional response. Like other chronic
diseases, addiction often involves cycles of relapse and remission. Without treatment or
engagement in recovery activities, addiction is progressive and can result in disability or
premature death.”

Still, the ASAM does continue to outline the negative consequences of addiction and recognizes its often deadly outcome. It maintains that all addictions are essentially the same, whether they are to alcohol, drugs, sex, et cetera. The difference now is, they are defining it primarily as a neurological disorder.


The timing of this new definition is in line with the highly-publicized revision of the American Psychiatric Association’s (APA) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), which includes diagnostic criteria for addiction and the corresponding guidelines for its treatment. There are certainly differences between the ASAM’s definition and the DSM, which will define “each type of addiction as a separate disease” with its symptoms continuing “to be viewed mostly as discrete behaviors.”

In many ways, this new definition is an attempt to destigmatize addiction. It looks to treat the disease as a whole rather than treating acute, compartmentalized symptoms.
The program of AA has always looked at alcoholism as a disease; those of us working in the recovery industry can tell you that it’s a brain disease. In many ways, this new definition confirms something we’ve known or suspected for some time. When we begin to address this with a critical mind, we’ll see that the threat of AA’s potential for obsolescence is more or less fear talking and not reality, and that what’s at stake here isn’t really the 12-step support groups, but the way in which insurance companies will allow the management of addiction treatment. However, digging deeper into that mess may uncover more to fear than a definition of addiction, so we’ll leave that alone for now.


So, let’s not forget the true beauty of the 12-step programs, where “The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking (using, etc).” As any addict/alcoholic can tell you, we’re here because our lives depend on it. The definition may change, but our sobriety and dedication to recovery cannot.


Articles used for reference and which are beneficial for further information:
A Radical New Definition of Addiction Creates a Big Storm (Alternet.org)
Addiction Gets Medical Makeover (thefix.com)
The Definition of Addiction (asam.org)  (long form)

Categories
Addiction Alcoholism Recovery

Becoming a Stag-A-Holic in Recovery

Image via Wikipedia

Recovery needs to be safe. It needs to be a place where we can shed our layers of fear and self-loathing and learn to be good enough as we are. It needs not to be the predatory place it’s become, where young girls learning to navigate a sober path to recovery end up falling prey to older men acting out their rescue fantasies (or worse). The notion of the 13th step (the unwritten yet prevalent practice of someone with longer sobriety praying on the vulnerability of the newcomer of the opposite sex) is alive and well, making for high levels of emotional risk for those coming in, particularly when one shares something deeply personal from the podium at a mixed meeting.

When I got sober, I was a 21-year-old maniac. The concept of boundaries were foreign to me, and I was often known to place myself in unsafe situations—an unfortunate by-product of my previously self-depleting, self-deprecating life prior to recovery. But I got lucky. I had an Eskimo, who acted as my big brother, scooping me up under his wing and holding the predators at bay. I wasn’t protected forever, though. I still managed to get myself into incredible trouble, acting out left and right, because I hadn’t yet learned how to use to the tools of recovery. I hadn’t learned how to create and maintain boundaries. I hadn’t learned that emotional and physical safety was necessary for me to heal and get sober. It didn’t take long for me to discovery that these were the things that I needed to learn from the women in the rooms. Big brother or not, some things just don’t go over well.

It takes time to learn the value of sharing in a general way. New, we’re raw and often unedited. Add adolescence to the mix, and being unedited is par for the course especially with the innate desire to fit in, the need to individuate, and the added weight of navigating a path in recovery. Yes, there are a bevy of young people’s meetings, where the majority of the attendees are more relatable. What seems to be missing, however, is a wide variety of young people’s stag meetings. It’s too bad, because those are the meetings where you can share more candidly and without invariably placing yourself at risk.

So, what does one do when your world is crumbling and you need to drop down to your emotional bare bones? You can start by sharing the deeply personal, vulnerable, emotionally dangerous shares for those who have your best interests in mind: your sponsor, your therapist, or a friend close to you that has a solid foundation in recovery. Lean into the gendered sails of those who’ve walked the path before you. Trust me on this: getting sober is the easy part. It’s staying sober and safe that takes work. That’s what stags are there for.

Categories
Alumni Events

Annual Alumni Event

Once again, we’ve happened upon that time of year for some organized, sober fun at our annual Alumni Weekend! In addition to the standard softball game that everyone invariably loves, there are a slew of other happenings ready for the taking. Haven’t RSVP’d yet? You still have time! The event is sure to be a blast for the entire family!

Aside from the planned activities, this weekend also proves to be a great time for reconnecting with alumni you haven’t seen in a while. It’s also an opportunity to discover how much fun you can have without the hindrance of drugs and alcohol. There was once a time when a party meant getting the various mind-altering accouterments “necessary” to have fun, only to find that the party wasn’t as full of jocular camaraderie as anticipated, mostly because you were too high to remember. Things are much different now.
Sometimes we get so caught up in our difficulties in relation to recovery, we forget how much fun we can actually have. As we begin to walk to the path of rediscovery as sober beings, we have a chance to experience life in a new, more conscious way. Sober, we relearn how to dance in the waves at the beach, explore our wonderful mountain ranges, ride bikes, swim, laugh with abandon, play softball, or just hang out with friends. We discover that  having fun is not only possible, it’s necessary. In my own sobriety, I’ve found that learning to laugh in the face of adversity is far more beneficial than succumbing to the self-deprecating call to numb out. To be honest, I’ve had more fun sober than I ever had using–I laugh more, and I experience life as a fully engaged human being.
So, dust off your sense of humor and free-spirited nature and come hang out with some old (and new) friends this weekend. There will be meetings, bowling, dinners, and of course, the now infamous softball game. What’s not to love, eh? Plus, the competition on Sunday will be fierce, with staff gunning to win their title back!
**You can RSVP by emailing: alumni@visionsteen.com or calling 818-889-3665**
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