Categories
Holidays

Surviving the Holidays

Wondering how you’re going to make it through a day of screwball family dynamics and holiday “cheer”?  You’re not alone. This time of year can bring up a flurry of emotions, some ecstatic and some reminiscent of Chernobyl.  Since the curve is broad, managing it all can be difficult. So, then how do we do this?

Taking an honest look at our expectations is a great start. We have them from our internal sources of desire as well as the implied expectations put upon us by the bottled cheer we see when we’re out in the world. It’s the holidays, we are supposed to be happy, right?  Perhaps, but it doesn’t always go that way. We may find ourselves stuck sitting next to our biggest button-pusher, or suddenly engaged in a conversation about “what it was like” with a well-meaning member of the family. What’s important, at least for me, is the way in which to respond. It’s a great opportunity to be gentle with yourself in the face of adversity and a wonderful reminder to hold up those boundaries you may have set.

Something else that can be helpful is staying in the present moment. It’s easy to get locked into the stories of our past and sometimes difficult not to react to those echos. For me, setting an intention for my day, either in a quiet moment of meditation or in my yoga practice, is key. Sometimes it can mean acknowledging there may be difficulty, but finding a way to approach it differently; it could mean setting an intention to be kind to yourself and to approach others with compassion; or it could mean setting the intention to be in gratitude.

This holiday season, we have a wonderful opportunity to take contrary action and meet our pain with compassion, and our frustration with gratitude. Remember to laugh, take breaks, and enjoy each moment–you are amazing!  As the Buddha said, “The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart.”

Categories
Marijuana

Marijuana and the Indelible Effects on the Brain

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A study presented at the Society for Neuroscience meeting this past week, suggests that smoking marijuana as a teen can have long-lasting effects on the brain. In a recent USA Today article, they shared the results of the study, noting how it shows “people who start using marijuana at a young age have more cognitive shortfalls. Also, the more marijuana a person used in adolescence, the more trouble they had with focus and attention.”
     Staci Gruber, assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School performed this study using 29 non-smokers and 35 chronic marijuana smokers, 20 of which began smoking before age 16 while the rest started after the age of 16. The smokers were quick in their ability to perform the sorting tasks in the study, but slow to recognize and correct error. They were also more impulsive than the non-smokers.  Gruber’s results also show “further evidence that marijuana use has a direct effect on executive function, and that both age of onset and magnitude of marijuana use can significantly influence cognitive processing.” These results are in line with what we already know about adolescent brain development, which is that the brain doesn’t fully mature until one is in their mid-20s. What complicates things is the natural lack of impulse control found in adolescents, risk-taking behaviors, and inevitable rebelliousness, some of which is due to brain development and some we can attribute to family dynamics as well as personality.
    The research and scientific evidence regarding the ill effects of drug use aren’t really surprising, at least not in the recovery community.  For some of us, this study makes perfect sense because it relates to our own reality of not being able to recall information we thought we knew, or because we’ve become slow in our ability to process new information.  For others, it’s logical information based on what we know about the brain and the debilitating effects drugs have on brain development.

Categories
Sexuality

Teen Pregnancy: Education vs Ignorance

Image by Slaff via Flickr

      I wonder, is the latest reality TV craze of highlighting the trials and tribulations of teen pregnancy actually helping teens in any way? Or are we once again stuck on the reality-television treadmill, watching someone else’s tragedy unfold, happy it’s not us? Getting pregnant as a teen is hard. The repercussions of the fly-by-night fancies of our youth are often life-changing. As parents, we need to know how best to handle that, and as teens, we need to be informed.
    The issue here isn’t how our teen got pregnant in the first place. I think we all know the hows and whys if one is already in that position. The truth is, parents NOT speaking to their kids soon enough about the toughest, yet most important issues is where the trouble really starts. Issues like:

Sex, drugs and alcohol, violence, race, HIV/AIDS, information gleaned from the news and other media, accidents and disasters, sickness and death, and divorce. 

     Yes, these are tough things to talk about, but isn’t it better to be a teacher to our kids, rather than the one undoing the mess of misinformation?  This is an opportunity to have a dialogue and provide a safe space for our kids to open up. When we take away the mystery, the subject of sex and even drugs are potentially less interesting. At least, that’s the goal. Here are some viable tips that might make talking to your kids about this a little bit easier:

  1. Start early
  2. Initiate conversations with your child, even about sex and sexuality
  3. Create an open environment
  4. Communicate your own values
  5. Listen to your child
  6. Answer honestly 
  7. Be patient
  8. Use everyday opportunities to talk
  9. Have an open mind
  10. Talk about it again and again.

Categories
Alcohol

Alcohol: Worse Than Heroin and Crack

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   Alcohol is worse than heroin and crack, according to a new study published by the British medical journal, The Lancet.  A panel of experts examined various emotional, social, physical, and psychological problems caused by a variety of drugs, and they determined that alcohol was the most harmful overall. The study used a new scale to assess damage caused by and the overall harmfulness of 20 drugs; using that scale, alcohol received a score of 72 on a scale of 100, according to the study. CNN reports the study’s findings that “Heroin, crack cocaine and methamphetamine were the most harmful drugs to individuals, while alcohol, heroin and crack cocaine were the most harmful to others.”
    Aside from the physical harm alcohol does to one on a micro level, it also paves a path of destruction on a macro level, carrying with it the repercussions from drunk driving and other catastrophic social behaviors, which can have severe consequences. It brings to mind the similar issue we have regarding smoking, wherein the abused substance is legal, and therefore isn’t stigmatized in the same manner as heroin or crack cocaine might be. However, the one thing that really sets alcohol apart is this: there seems to be a recognized level of “safety” regarding having a drink, whereas that same level of safety doesn’t exist for other drugs, including nicotine. In a sense, this adds fodder to the findings regarding alcohol: with a level of safety, one also has a built-in excuse. With that excuse comes denial, thus the pattern of potential addiction forms. It’s easier to believe you’re “fine” if you have one too many drinks, because you bought your intoxicant legally, and because it’s an accepted social norm. According to addiction expert Dr. Jeffrey Parsons, chair of the psychology department at Hunter College, “Alcohol dependance tends to be masked more often than dependence upon other drugs. With alcohol, someone can feel like a law abiding citizen despite the fact that they are abusing a drug.”

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